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| Topic: Walking Away | |
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The other day I ran into my ex-boyfriend. After we exchanged howdy-do's he said to me "can I ask you something?" "do you hate me ?" I told him, "no, I don't hate you" then he said well I never see you anymore, and so I said well I work different shifts and been pretty busy, have a nice Christmas and then I walked away. Honestly, I don't hate him (such a strong word) I just woke up and realized he wasn't what I wanted in my life (he's a functional alcoholic). But I'm glad that he could have closure and let him know that I have no bad feelings that we're not a couple anymore. I have a feeling that he's going to try to get back into my life, because I have heard from friends that he realized he made mistakes in the way he treated our relationship (his drinking buddies had first priority)I admit I made mistakes also, I should of realized that he is an alcoholic and drinking will always be more important to him than any normal relationship,we only seen each other on weekends, but after a while I started to recognize the signs that he had a "drinking problem".To tell him I don't want to date you because you're a alcoholic would be futile because most alcoholics are really into denial.Anyway I just thought I'd post this because it really empowered me that I was able to honestly say "no, I don't hate you".
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well I don't hate you either
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Good for you!
I'll drink to that 
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Good for you, euphoric.
I ran into an old boyfriend who really treated me shabbily...anyways, his thing was to find a woman who could financially "keep" him. When he said hello I told him I didn't know who he was...no name did'nt mean anything...mentioned sailboat club which was his greater love..nope. Anyways...sounds petty?, but I believe he was dumped by his benfactress and was trolling old grounds and I wanted no part of it.. |
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Euphoria, you could tell him something like, I just don't drink much anymore & see what happens.
Maybe he is ready to sober up. Or just tell him, you need to be #1 & won't settle for anything else. Jus a few thoughts. |
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I dated a boozer for a while. They are usually very insecure people. They want you to like them, and they either are telling you how sorry they are for whatever or are telling you what an a----- you are for not aproving of what they want to do, which is drink. Untill he realizes he has a problem nothing and nobody will be more important to him than drinking. You are right not to hate him, and you were very right in walking away.
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Read a quote today :) The opposite of Love is not hate but indifference.
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Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions on my post. You are all a great bunch of people.
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Edited by
carolanne58
on
Fri 12/05/08 11:49 PM
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euphoriaholic I can certianly relate to what you have said.My husband admitted he was a alocholic and did the A.A. thing in the begining of our relationship.But when life became difficult and he found new buddies to drink with my anger only fell on deaf ears.This was the only thing we ever fought about.Even though I loved him with all my heart it tore me apart because you can't expect medications to work if you abuse your body.
Good for you for walking away I know how hard it must be when you have had a history with this person.Celebrate the fact that you realize what is good and not good for you. |
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I'll bet you will remember that moment for a long long time.
I have had moments I am so proud of, usually for taking the high road . There is nothing like it ,frank , just , honest . Kudos to you for your thoughtfulness .There is no fault in expressing honest emotion . |
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The other day I ran into my ex-boyfriend. After we exchanged howdy-do's he said to me "can I ask you something?" "do you hate me ?" I told him, "no, I don't hate you" then he said well I never see you anymore, and so I said well I work different shifts and been pretty busy, have a nice Christmas and then I walked away. Honestly, I don't hate him (such a strong word) I just woke up and realized he wasn't what I wanted in my life (he's a functional alcoholic). But I'm glad that he could have closure and let him know that I have no bad feelings that we're not a couple anymore. I have a feeling that he's going to try to get back into my life, because I have heard from friends that he realized he made mistakes in the way he treated our relationship (his drinking buddies had first priority)I admit I made mistakes also, I should of realized that he is an alcoholic and drinking will always be more important to him than any normal relationship,we only seen each other on weekends, but after a while I started to recognize the signs that he had a "drinking problem".To tell him I don't want to date you because you're a alcoholic would be futile because most alcoholics are really into denial.Anyway I just thought I'd post this because it really empowered me that I was able to honestly say "no, I don't hate you". After I split up it took my almost 3 years to get to that stage. Now I know that hatred takes away positive energy from myself. I'm a much happier person since, and I can only recommend to get rid of hatred as soon as possible, it makes for a much better life. |
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Holding on to anger is only hurting you.It is like holding on to a hand gernad with the intent of throwing it and if you don't let go you are the one who is going to get hurt.
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