It's always the case with me. I meet a smart, funny girl with a great personality, but I'm not attracted to her physically. Or, I meet a girl that I am hot for sexually, but cant stand to talk to her for more than five minutes.

I just cant win.

hahaha i just spent an hour talking about this last night to my best friend. he and i both have the same problem. or we find someone we genuinely like and the timing is just all wrong!

i actually met a really cool guy on this site...a real catch...but apparently i see him only as potential friend and he saw me differently....*shrug* i dunno. my last two exes were great chemistry all around but that doesnt mean it will always work out...

Your not alone

This happens very often and just as much if not more so for women. Sometimes I just give in but in that case, I have to be able to hold a conversation with the man so I will take intelligence over looks in the end.

to get the whole package you also must be a whole package

Well then, that makes it all the worse if they have feelings for you and they are not reciprocal in nature.

this is somewhat true. but you dont have to be the whole package in order to attract it.


im attracted foremost to a persons personality...in fact a lot of sexually chemistry will probably vibe off of that for me...not their looks...though it happens! lol
but i feel guilty trying to go with the flow when im not sexually attracted to someone...i feel like im leading them on or there are a plethora of things i would rather do with them....

we often look for everything in somebody, overlooking that perhaps we are not everything to others

personally i would work on the ones whose personality i was attracted to etc - the physical could always be worked out

i was rereading your original post and one thing came to mind. ive learned that everything in dating is not an give all take all scenario.


just because the intelligent witty potential dater doesnt necessarily have a roaring chemistry doesnt mean that you shouldnt get to know her better or immediately categorize her....youd be suprised what just might come your way.....who knows she may introduce you to someone who does fit that ticket after she knows you better as well.

AMEN!

whats that saying? you cant fix stupid? lol

Well I guess thats how Im different. I never expect more than what I can offer, yet I have a certain criteria and that would primarily revolve around communication skills as noted.

I would have a hard time dating a man who proselytizes,thats for sure.

My sentiments exactly.

I have given the less attractive girls a chance to see if somehow, I could get a sexual attraction from their personality (if that makes any sense), but it hasnt worked for me yet.

i think thats why most people are on this site
looking for a true beautiful inside and out person
and meeting many friends a long the way

i know ive met a girl on her we talked
i kept my mind open it ended up she had a horrible personality
she wasnt the most amazing looking but i kept my mind opened


trust me every one will find some one you just have to look in all the little nooks and cranny's

perfect sense. i understand. then maybe you should pay attention more to personal chemistry as a whole than wow that girl is really funny or man what a hottie.....look for a happy medium is the funny girl cute or adorable endearing in any way to your eyes....do you want to delve deeper into her nature? is the hot girl at least offering some sort conversation starter or inputs or opinions in deeper discussions? i dont classify myself as a "hot chic" but i will say that at least half the men the say that i am make me feel like thats all they see that i have to offer that i either shut them down or shut down myself when on a date. its a huge turn off. look deeper into the persons "fabric of being". look for the qualities you really like...maybe no one is "the perfect package".

you know i think too many people are obsessed with finding the right one for ever and all eternity.....find the woman that makes you happy right now. someone who can make you laugh and you can share experiences with. someone who inspires you to think outside the box and is supportive of you. and if shes bangin'....more power to ya bro lol! in other words learn more about yourself and who you want to be with through your experiences....just dont sit around hoping theyll walk by....

Thank you. Excellent advice that I will take to heart.