Topic: A losing battle
Lynann's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:26 AM
Edited by Lynann on Tue 12/30/08 08:26 AM
This really made me angry. People losing custody of the children because they are in the military??

Fighting War -- and for Custody
Deployment Used In Battles for Kids

By Ann Scott Tyson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, December 30, 2008; Page A01

FORT LEE, Va. -- Army Sgt. Stephanie Greer was serving with a vehicle-maintenance unit in the volatile Iraqi city of Ramadi, part of President Bush's "surge" strategy to stabilize the country, when she learned of a far-off and most unexpected battle: Her estranged husband was going to fight her for custody of their daughter.

Greer had temporary custody of Mackenzie when she began her second deployment to Iraq in early 2007. Her husband was to care for the 7-year-old while Greer was overseas, but soon he challenged that arrangement in divorce proceedings. "He said I was unstable because I was deployed or training too much," she said.

As a result, throughout her 15-month combat tour, Greer had to mount from 4,000 miles away a legal campaign to keep her daughter.

"If I had not deployed, I know I never would have faced this situation," said Greer, 39. "I don't think it should be held against you, and I don't think my time away, or me deploying, affects my ability to be a mother or provide for my kids."

If she expected support in that position from the military, she was disappointed. Instead, the message she said she received from her superiors was: Deal with it.

"In the midst of the deployment, everything goes to pieces . . . and they say, 'Just let it go and fix it when you get home,' " Greer said. "But most of the time when you do that, it is too late."

The military does not track statistics on custody disputes, but as military divorce rates rise -- particularly among enlisted female troops such as Greer -- so do child custody struggles in which military service overseas has become a wedge issue, according to experts in military family law.

"More and more, a service member is deployed and the service member's spouse is seeking to use that to their advantage," said Greg Rinckey, a former Army judge advocate.

"We are seeing a substantial increase in cases . . . challenging the custody of military parents and the return of custody when they come back from mobilization or deployment, compared to virtually none 10 years ago," said Mark E. Sullivan, a retired Army Reserve judge advocate who practices family law in North Carolina. The increase has been greatest in states with large military populations, such as Virginia and Texas, he added.

Female troops may be particularly at risk, because mothers are more likely to have custody of children after a divorce. "For them to go away for 15 to 18 months, it opens the door to these challenges," said A.J. Balbo, Greer's attorney and a former Army judge advocate.

These conditions create an impossible quandary for service members who are devoted parents and yet must fulfill their obligation to their country, Rinckey and other experts said.

Under Army regulations, soldiers can request emergency leave because of the threat of divorce or related problems at home, although unit commanders retain ultimate discretion to grant approval. However, Balbo said, "most of the time the chain of command is not going to view the custody fight as an emergency."

article continues at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/29/AR2008122902611.html?hpid=topnews

no photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:34 AM
Edited by me_me_me_pick_me on Tue 12/30/08 08:35 AM
Why are you angry? I am sure there is more to it then what is on the surface.

writer_gurl's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:37 AM
My brother in law can't have his kids because he is in the Army and he's divorced....So, his mother is taking care of them for him. The only way he can have them is if he he gets married again.

SailorMegs's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:41 AM
umm, i dont know bc it sux if ure overseas serving your country and COC will rarely let u leave to fight for your kids or your marriage. and your estranged spouse uses your job against u to get the kids. thats not fair, ure doing what u have to do.

AndyBgood's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:44 AM
Goes hand in hand with men saddled to pay child support for children that are not genetically theirs.

This country's legal system is a total mess.

THAT IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU VOTE FOR LIBERALS!

Instead of being administrators and stewards of our country we now got LAWMAKERS. What ever happened to them being Congressmen and Senators? We have way too many laws and the system has become far to convoluted to be practical any more.

Fanta46's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:48 AM
Unless he's done something to not deserve custody then he has every rite to take the kid.
To join a job, (military) "voluntarily," that has a good chance to take you away from your kids for 1 yr to 18 months, possibly never returning, and then placing the kid with someone other than the other parent. Is like leaving the kid in limbo.
Its not fair to the kid nor to the other parent.


Lynann's photo
Tue 12/30/08 09:00 AM
When you vote for liberals?

haha Sorry but the DoD has these policies in place under an republican administration.

I agree completely that men should not be paying child support for children that are not theirs. Again...you cannot blame this on liberals. The presumption that children born into a marriage belong to the husband is as old as the institution of marriage itself.

It's important to remember that the technology for definitively determining parentage has only been around for a relatively short time.

In this issue as in so many others law must play catchup to technology since it is obvious that affective laws cannot be made in anticipation of technological changes. This is again where courts play an important role. Applying the principles and intent of existing law to new technologies and to the ever evolving unique situations human beings create.

Although I am sure some short sighted simpletons would call that legislating from the bench.