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| Topic: Is falling in love just for the young? | |
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Like to get the benefit of others experience. Its been a very long time since I fell in love. 
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W&W
Interesting reply. The question arises is the falling in love when younger, true or was their dependence in it. For me when I did fall in love it was as if a chemical bond occurred. I liked ande respected and my love. It didn't work out because I was an immature jerk. So I wonder all the experience, all the pain and all the judgments does it block ones heart from that chemical bond again. Not that over time love can deepen or that the maturity of age assist it to grow. But the experience of the first flush, the power of it, can it be as strong. I would think it would add a powerful dimension to the relationship. |
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I'm not sure more mature singletons "fall," rather tip-toe in love. Life experiences and past poor judgment ought to make us wiser, if not, we are bound to repeat the same stupid, throw-caution-to-the-wind decisions...which, consequently, turn out the same sucky way the others have. Do we look at partnership differently? Certainly! Not only that, I am certain we, the over 40 crowd. would most likely even define "love" differently than not only the younger crowd, but even differently than we, ourselves, once defined it. Thankfully, however, my being "long in the tooth" did not taint my positive outlook, or make me totally cynical. While I was prepared to explore life as a single woman, as it turns out, I won't be doing so. About 18 months ago, I met my now husband on this very site, albeit the site was called, Just Say Hi. We were married November 3, 2007 and I dare say I have never been happier--most likely because my past fairytale idea of love was shattered and reality got through my thick skull. Not only am I more accepting of other (men) and their limitations (just like women!) they are people....not some figment of my girlhood imagination. My husband is NOT just like me. He does not think like I do, he does not work through problems the same way I do. He does not communicate the way I do. He does not have the same pastime interests as I do. He doesn't love the way I do. He doesn't cry the way I do. If he did do all of those things the way I do.....one of us would be unnecessary! I don't love all of the differences any more than he does, but we respect them and there are times and circumstances in which we actually revel in the differences between us. You see, not only do we love one another, oddly enough, we actually LIKE each other, and that's more than OK with me!  Very well stated
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Hmmm....good question. As I recall, my first love experience as I view it now was much like an obsession, and yes, I believe there was a chemical reaction in my brain, not to mention all the other changes in other areas......
What we DO with those feelings, chemicals, electricity, whatever, may vary with age. I do hope Tom and I don't look as stupid as I did the first time. Whew!!! Some things I'm just not willing (or able!) to repeat. For that, I am truly thankful. Sounds as if you still love your first....is it over with no chance of rekindling?? |
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Why, thank you, mssilverfox!
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I'm not sure more mature singletons "fall," rather tip-toe in love. Life experiences and past poor judgment ought to make us wiser, if not, we are bound to repeat the same stupid, throw-caution-to-the-wind decisions...which, consequently, turn out the same sucky way the others have. Do we look at partnership differently? Certainly! Not only that, I am certain we, the over 40 crowd. would most likely even define "love" differently than not only the younger crowd, but even differently than we, ourselves, once defined it. Thankfully, however, my being "long in the tooth" did not taint my positive outlook, or make me totally cynical. While I was prepared to explore life as a single woman, as it turns out, I won't be doing so. About 18 months ago, I met my now husband on this very site, albeit the site was called, Just Say Hi. We were married November 3, 2007 and I dare say I have never been happier--most likely because my past fairytale idea of love was shattered and reality got through my thick skull. Not only am I more accepting of other (men) and their limitations (just like women!) they are people....not some figment of my girlhood imagination. My husband is NOT just like me. He does not think like I do, he does not work through problems the same way I do. He does not communicate the way I do. He does not have the same pastime interests as I do. He doesn't love the way I do. He doesn't cry the way I do. If he did do all of those things the way I do.....one of us would be unnecessary! I don't love all of the differences any more than he does, but we respect them and there are times and circumstances in which we actually revel in the differences between us. You see, not only do we love one another, oddly enough, we actually LIKE each other, and that's more than OK with me! Brilliantly stated!  I know, for me, I cannot pick and choose who I fall in love with. It's a matter of fate, attraction, connection and spirit. Not to mention, where each individual is at emotionally in their lives. When true love is pure, grounded and devoid of fantasy, it just happens. Personally, I think the big belch in this love concept these days is so many folks are in love with the *idea* of being in love, that they either misconstrue or fabricate their emotions, are not honest with the themselves or their partner, and worse yet, as stated brilliantly above: Do not afford themselves time to actually figure out if they LIKE the individual they allegedly love. I'm certainly not a Mary Poppins weighing in on the topic by any stretch, but I think I approach the concept of love a little more realistically than some. Even though I've been heartbroken before, a few times, I do not let it jade me for future relationship nor do I construct this huge and totally unrealistic laundry list of requirements/expectations for future mates that so many seem to do. In summary, YES it is very possible to fall in love, wholly and completely - at any age. If one cannot, certainly it's time they take a hard look in their bathroom mirror as to why this may be. 
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Not with out a good looking dress and a sex change.
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Well I thank the community for their responses. It is time for me to do some work at hand.
I'll be looking later at what the community has to say. I can only say one more thing right now. Ahhh Amore! |
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I'm no different than practically anybody else. I've had enough of my share of bad experiences and heartache. I do believe that because of all that, it has left me quite jaded as far as relationships go, at least for myself. It's brought me to the point to where I just really don't find it as any type of priority anymore. I am not here for anything other than to converse with friends, and I do not pretend anything otherwise. That said, I do remain open to suggestion, but admittedly it would take a LOT to convince me. For someone willing to take the time to get to know the inner me, they have their work cut out for them, but it's not an impossible task. Difficult? Undoubtedly. Impossible? No.
To put this into some semblance of a nutshell, I guess I'm just a whole lot less anxious to just jump at the first thing that comes my way anymore (not that there ever was a whole lot to choose from in the first place, but hey). The wall has gotten pretty high, but I'm okay with that, at least at this point. I know I'm not getting any younger, but there's simply just too many variables to deal with at this point of my life, and I've earned my predisposition to think optimistically. |
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