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Topic: Moving in
galendgirl's photo
Sat 01/17/09 03:56 PM
A single friend of mine and I joke about this being one of the 2 'M' words that make us run.

It's not a matter of moral vs immoral...just um...OMG, scary to contemplate!

I'm guessing you can figure out the other 'M' word?

Either way, it would take a REALLY great partner to make us consider this. Otherwise we should just keep 2 homes :)

Drago01's photo
Sat 01/17/09 03:58 PM
Depends on your lifestyle. Ive had three relationships going at once in decades past. It wouldnt work out under those circumstances. I used to rest on Sundays.

MirrorMirror's photo
Sun 01/18/09 12:29 AM

Depends on your lifestyle. Ive had three relationships going at once in decades past. It wouldnt work out under those circumstances. I used to rest on Sundays.
drinks

sloughr1's photo
Sun 01/18/09 12:47 AM
make sure you know them very well first. It kinda sucks when both of you own your own homes, because it really makes that step a giant one....

misstina2's photo
Sun 01/18/09 12:59 AM
yay means lots of sexlaugh laugh laugh

Winx's photo
Sun 01/18/09 01:26 AM

flowerforyou What are your thoughts about moving in with a girlfriend or boyfriend?flowerforyou


I've done it. I won't do it again because I have a child.
I don't want that to be an example for my child.

Winx's photo
Sun 01/18/09 01:27 AM

i would say its a tricky deal. the longer the two know each other, the better of it working out imo.


Oddly, statistically, people that live together and then marry, have higher divorce rates then people that don't.

boneyjoe's photo
Sun 01/18/09 01:35 AM
depends on th couple,,,,if they are ready,,,,,then yep,,,go for it,,,if your one of these that has to have a piece of paper,,,,go back to your shell

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 01/18/09 02:53 AM
Yea sure Shack up! You have absolutely no protections of law in all sorts of areas.

You have no Landlord rights. You can't make them pay, clean, or easily evict them once tenancy in common is proved. They damage something or make it filthy you have to prove they did it as a co-tenant. Basiclly when you are not there they can do about whatever they want.

As a Tenant you have no defined rights there either. No right to privacy. They are not responsible to make the house habital. And if you leave the house you can be locked out. Basiclly once you move your stuff in it is real hard to prove what belongs to who. And if your co-tenant uses and or abuses your stuff good luck collecting on it. If they own the house they can move in as many people or pets as they want and you either tolerate it or leave.

As an Employee you have no rights. No pay, no over time, and no workman's compensation in you get hurt. You get to cook, clean, do laundry, and pet or babysit for nothing. You don't want to be sexually harrassed as long as they don't touch you it is pretty much so what.

As and Employer you don't have many rights either. You can't assign tasks or demand compleation of projects started.

As a Money manager you have a few rights you forfit in marriage as to community property but co-mingleing of funds leave a lot of grey areas about financial matters. And you have an open account for services if your room-mate decides to use something excessively you can wind up in debt really fast. Phone bills, cable tv., water bills, and yard maintenance can cost you more money than you thought possible. If you are the property owner that can mean a lean long after the other person has moved on. It can destroy your credit.

You live together you have very dicey waters as far as co-parenting pets and kids. Unless you can prove abuse you can be ultimately held responsible for whatever happens. Let the dog out and they bite the mail man owner and homeowner can be sued for example. You really don't want to have to sue your lover to collect from their insurance.

Have I made anyone nervous yet? This is only a sampleing of the issues you can get in Shacking up. It is your life. Proceed with caution.

Oh and the thing lets see if we can live together? About 95% of the time the answer is no and break ups can be just as painful and litigious as a divorce. Often they are complicated by third parties and the potential for abuse is significant.

Even if you don't split up the incidence of marriage as the result of living together is extreamly low. This is as bad for guys as it is gals. If a gal is dragging her feet about getting married chances are she will stay only as long as she doesn't get a better offer or you are not laid off, get hurt, or get sick. A lot of times when they kids leave they don't need you any more.




papersmile's photo
Sun 01/18/09 03:41 AM

flowerforyou What are your thoughts about moving in with a girlfriend or boyfriend?flowerforyou

at the stage i'm at in my life now, no.

i've three young daughters to raise and unless the man is going to be a permanent part of our lives, there won't be any 'living together'.

they've already watched one break-up; i'd hate to have to put them through that again.

and then do i move in with the next boyfriend that comes along, if this one doesn't work out? i wonder what will they think of their mother? it's me who teaches by example and i personally don't think that is what i want to show them.

OrangeCat's photo
Sun 01/18/09 04:18 AM
all depends


but me my self will never move in with any one.I stay in my own place/

Seakolony's photo
Sun 01/18/09 04:21 AM
Edited by Seakolony on Sun 01/18/09 04:23 AM



c. Puts the TP on the roller so it feeds over, NOT under.



YES!!

I do not think I wish to live with someone again unless I were married. There is no reason to work it out and you combine everything and have to separate it again. Its just a hassle!!

no photo
Sun 01/18/09 12:52 PM

flowerforyou What are your thoughts about moving in with a girlfriend or boyfriend?flowerforyou

I have had people move in with me three times. Due to those experiences and based on what I need, I wouldn't do it again unless we married first. In other words, had thought long and hard and were at that level of commitment, personal accountability, and ready/able to cope with the challenges of each person and the relationship.

Adamal29's photo
Sun 01/18/09 04:59 PM
Usually nothing good comes of it unless the couple is truly going to get married. Break up just are all that much more difficult when you live with each other.

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sun 01/18/09 05:10 PM
I'm guessing you can figure out the other 'M' word?


Masochism???

galendgirl's photo
Sun 01/18/09 06:16 PM

I'm guessing you can figure out the other 'M' word?


Masochism???


Oh, that works too LOL! laugh

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 01/19/09 05:05 AM

no photo
Mon 01/19/09 05:09 AM



Yeah, its like jumping in without knowing how deep the puddle was.

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