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Topic: what to do if you catch your wife with another man
hulett3's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:32 PM
i caught my wife with another man and i dont know what to do after all
she has done i still love her very much and we have three kids and we
have been together for 7 years what shall i do anyone

chopperdan's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:35 PM
That is a hard question dude. It can only be answered by you. First and
formost do you forgive and do you believe that it won't happen again?
Answer these and you might have your answer.

hulett3's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:37 PM
i forgive her but it has only been 5days since it happend

no photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:42 PM
Trust is pretty important, if you can't trust your wife,,,,being jealous
won't help. Seems rather unsatisfactory to have an ongoing relationship
with someone who is cheating. Might as well start over as live with
someone you can't trust. Good luck with that.

chopperdan's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:42 PM
Dude you need some help. What does she say about this? Does she want out
or in? Can you trust her?

freeangel's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:43 PM
I know how you feel. I caught my husband of 17 years cheating on me just
a few months ago. I know how hard it can be. Just give yourself some
time to figure things out.

merryanne's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:44 PM
Hulett, are you married or single??your bio says you are divoreced??

chopperdan's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:47 PM
People will be people, but wander lust is always in the air. It is hard
to procreat with just one indiviual. Your hormones get out of control
and go off on a tangent of their own. We have all been there. But it is
the common decency that stops us from doing a stupid thing. Stop Think
Listen, then ponder and decide. Life is short and it needs to be good.

hulett3's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:50 PM
she wants to try to work it out and right at this point dont know if i
trust her or not just so damb mad right now she blamed me for the whole
thing because she was working 2nd shift and said that she was staying
for 3rd and so i thought she was cheating and i guess i was right

chopperdan's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:52 PM
helut you just answered your own question.

chris87's photo
Tue 04/24/07 06:07 PM
nah f u c k that s h i t beat him up but dont beat him up 4 real... but
tell ur wife to get the hell the out but i and i repeat but dont kick ur
kids out the house wit her keep them wit u and get a divorce...

parttime_vikingfan's photo
Tue 04/24/07 06:09 PM
There are 3 reasons to divorce: the three A's 1) addiction 2)adultery 3)
abuse........ now you have to figure out what your going to do! good
luck, I know what I would do. I would try to figure out why it really
happened, and I mean really! Then I would try to figure out what the
chances are of it happening again. Then only after all that would I
figure out if I could take it happening again!

resserts's photo
Tue 04/24/07 06:18 PM
hulett3:

If you've forgiven her (and after a scant five days, I applaud you for
that), that's half of your battle. The other half is complicated. Is
she contrite? Why did she stray? People usually cheat when they aren't
getting something important from their primary relationship. That
doesn't excuse her actions, but may be important in determining if you
can salvage your relationship. If your relationship is missing
something essential that can be still be provided, work on it. If
what's missing is something you cannot provide or is something that
simply doesn't exist, there's no future and you'll need to move on.

I don't suggest therapy lightly, but a few serious sessions with a
marriage counselor may be helpful for both of you.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Mystique42's photo
Tue 04/24/07 07:11 PM
I agree with resserts in that if something is missing from the
relationship a spouse is more inclined to find what's missing.
I know there are some people on here who have gotten past infidelity. So
it can be done, but you do need to find out what went wrong and
communicate to each other openly and honestly. It may take some time.
Only you can decide what is right for you and your family.

Sanna's photo
Tue 04/24/07 07:13 PM
I agree with resserts! Something in your relationship isn't working for
her to stray like that. It will take time to forgive her and anger, hurt
& disappointment are the first emotions people feel when they have been
cheated on! Been there myself. Good luck!

no photo
Wed 04/25/07 12:40 PM
Dude,
The same thing happened to me 5 years ago. I have forgiven my (now ex)
wife. I forgave her in the beginning, but she never was there after
that. She said that since I caught her, that she could never forgive
her self and to this day, I am one of the people that she cant stand to
talk to, guilt is a terrible thing. We also have three kids. They are
fine. Good luck man and I dont envy the ass whippin that you are takin
right now. I really feel you pain. It will get worse before it gets
better.

Duffy's photo
Wed 04/25/07 12:45 PM
get over it, get on with it or say goodbye. just that
simple.flowerforyou

oldsage's photo
Wed 04/25/07 12:57 PM
My wife & I cheated on eachother, got help, worked things out & built a
stronger relationship, that we kept to her death. You both need to
decide IF you are willing to go thru the pain & effort to salvage what
you really want. Times will be tough, see it thru & it will be worth
it.

Ever need to talk, write.

Don

bigpappa4331's photo
Wed 04/25/07 12:58 PM
marriage counselling?

seahawks's photo
Wed 04/25/07 01:06 PM
alls i can say bro , sorry to hear that , but ya gotta do what u feels
right, just dont let things get messy for kids sake.

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