Most M2 posters know I don't bring my pain into the forums. I'm a very private person.

But I have to release this somewhere and get some healing. I need the community on this one cuz this "Love Story" cuts deeper than anything I've ever experienced.


Early January, I had mentioned on my DEMI/ASHTON thread, that I was talking to a soldier in Iraq. We actually knew each other off another site 2 yrs before, but we never met in person because I was on/off with my now-exBF at the time. We stopped talking. He got deployed.

He found me on here right before Christmas. We started talking again. I found out he'd never forgotten me. We made plans to meet when he got back to Fort Carson. We started sharing our deeper feelings and he suddenly disappeared out of my life. I figured I got played but he just didn't seem the player type. He went silent. I had to move on.

That was 2 weeks ago. Early yesterday morning he came back on M2 and explained. He had received orders to go to North Carolina, soon after he gets back (he was accepted in Special Forces) and knew we were getting serious so he 'ran'.

We spent all day talking yesterday on line and in the end after all our shared feelings, he told me how he had made a commitment to the Army, that they were his life. That when he gets to Ft Bragg he will devote every minute to training for SF and will be celebate. He feels it's his "higher calling".

He told me he came back to explain, and that altho he cares so deeply for me, he knows we can't meet in person because it will be even harder to say goodbye. He is determined to fly solo as a 'warrior'. Don't get me wrong. I'm so proud of him. But to make it permanent he cut all ties again. Deactivated again on here, and deleted the yahoo IM we were talking on.

I have no way to reach him. I am powerless to do anything about this situation. I understand he has to do this to keep his focus. He truly believes that. I believe a strong woman is an asset to a soldier, and I would support and back him 100%. But he says all the SF guys are divorced. That it wouldn't be fair to me to have a PT BF. Although I will be praying for him non-stop, he's left me no way to reach him. Ever.

Why am I sharing? Because the pain is too intense to bear alone.

I can compete against another woman. And win. I can't compete against an ARMY. Especially an 'army of one' ..


That's all. I don't really expect advice. There's none to give. Just needed to let it out.


I "found the one my soul loves and I held on and would not let go" .. (Song of Songs)

(((judy)))

you are a very strong woman , and i know in time you will heal and carry on, i also know that this man will always be in your heart and prayers , and you know that i will always be around if you ever need someone to talk to

I do know that. And I appreciate your love and care for me.

Yes he will live on forever locked away somewhere no one can touch. Thank you Dana.

Never Have I Fallen

Your lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
My heart beats within your chest

I think of you each morning
And dream of you each night
I think of your arms being around me
And cannot express my delight

Never have I fallen
But I am quickly on my way
You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away

My Eternity is You

When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll never really know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You."

Debbie .. that is so beautiful. Thank you

Thank you for hearing my tears, hearing my pain and holding me as close as you can from far away.

I know someday I will move on, but not without knowing I had to say goodbye to the man who held my heart so deeply and to a soldier I've never had more respect and admiration for.

(((((((((((((((Judy))))))))))))))))

i am at a loss as to what to say, You know I love you and am ALWAYS here for you!!!!

(((((judy))))) im so sorry ijust think any thing i say could help your brokwn heart

saying that just know you are an amazing lady with love in your heart

someday some where some one will come into your life and you will have love and you will have happiness god bless you

Thank you Ruthie. I know you are. I especially appreciate your post because I know you are experiencing some pain of your own.


I love you.

You are a sweetheart Wanda. Perhaps you can make me a wishing well for my hopes in his return .. that he would change his mind and want a woman in his life to share the journey.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me goin crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive this romance
But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance

Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me goin crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

If I should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you. Hmm.

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you, you need.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.

(Instrumental solo)

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.

You, darling, I love you.
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.

{{{Judy}}}

I know this is hard for you , we've talked about it. Im here if you wanna or need to vent. I know youre going through a rough time and I wish there were words of wisdom or comfort that I knew, because i would say them in a minute to help ease your pain.

We are all here for you..

Check your email my new cell number is there

Much love darling...time heals!!

Time and true friends.

This is why I posted this. It's so much easier when you have strong people around you.

There is so much more Missy. The talks yesterday were so revealing about just what kind of man he really is, and the depth of character.

He's everything I've ever wanted in a man.

one wishing well coming up

give me a few weeks love ya

Perfect .. maybe with a on it somewhere ..


thanks Wanda

That's why I don't care for the military, destroyed my family years ago...f em. No offense.

Thanks for sharing Duane.

Hey sweetheart. Be strong, that's all you can really do. I totally know how you feel. I've had two serious relationships with men in the military and I was just in for it from the beginning. I think a relationship with a military man is one of the hardest and most stressful kinds there is. Maybe one day a long time from now you'll cross paths again. You never know. But in the meantime cheer up buttercup. The world spins madly on. :)

Sorry, but you already know you can't do anything. The military consumes most so much they don't have time to devote to a relationship, friendships tend to go on the back-burner...their life is the military, especially SF. Only family SF's have is really the people that they deploy with, and for the most part they are taught that.