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| Topic: Advice please | |
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Sounds a little pety to me...... Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence....... Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return! I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that. It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way. WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me! Expecting someone who has asked me out to have at least a little idea of something to do is high expectations? I think it tells a girl this guy didnt take the time to come up with a plan. Is he selfish? Is he inconsiderate? will he forget my birthday? i know sweetheart, but guys can just be dense sometimes and i think a woman needs to communicate and give the guy a chance to understand!!!!! women are much better at this stuff and work on a different level than men. I am 40 so i understand these things, but i know when i was younger i was pretty damn dense!!!! I call this the "shakedown" a women will hang on every little word and read into things far too much in my experience! I try and be as considerate as possible but to be honest i have to work at it. It doesnt mean i dont care, just take people how they are and dont jump to conclusions. so yes expecting a man to not make a mistake is high expectations if you ask me. |
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Sounds a little pety to me...... Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence....... Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return! I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that. It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way. WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me! Expecting someone who has asked me out to have at least a little idea of something to do is high expectations? I think it tells a girl this guy didnt take the time to come up with a plan. Is he selfish? Is he inconsiderate? will he forget my birthday? i know sweetheart, but guys can just be dense sometimes and i think a woman needs to communicate and give the guy a chance to understand!!!!! women are much better at this stuff and work on a different level than men. I am 40 so i understand these things, but i know when i was younger i was pretty damn dense!!!! I call this the "shakedown" a women will hang on every little word and read into things far too much in my experience! I try and be as considerate as possible but to be honest i have to work at it. It doesnt mean i dont care, just take people how they are and dont jump to conclusions. so yes expecting a man to not make a mistake is high expectations if you ask me. Why are you so defensive???? Is this topic a little too close to the bone????? 
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I think it tells a girl this guy didnt take the time to come up with a plan. Is he selfish? Is he inconsiderate? will he forget my birthday? i know sweetheart, but guys can just be dense sometimes and i think a woman needs to communicate and give the guy a chance to understand!!!!! women are much better at this stuff and work on a different level than men. I am 40 so i understand these things, but i know when i was younger i was pretty damn dense!!!! I call this the "shakedown" a women will hang on every little word and read into things far too much in my experience! I try and be as considerate as possible but to be honest i have to work at it. It doesnt mean i dont care, just take people how they are and dont jump to conclusions. so yes expecting a man to not make a mistake is high expectations if you ask me. I think you're reading way into this and being very defensive. If these things have happened to you before, you can't just assume all women are the same and will do the same thing. |
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Does someone need a hug?
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Does someone need a hug? No. I need a coffee...   
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Sounds a little pety to me...... Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence....... Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return! I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that. It doesn't sound like she's been out with him more than once. If I ask someone out, I'm going to have an idea of what to do. It should be the same other way. WOW high expectations!!!!! I wonder do women really expect men to make no mistakes? To not be nervous? Well you just said something i think is stupid so i dont like you now. sounds a little absurd to me???? Give the guy a break at least he called and said hey i like you, that gets no credit????? Just seems very minor if you ask me! Expecting someone who has asked me out to have at least a little idea of something to do is high expectations? I think it tells a girl this guy didnt take the time to come up with a plan. Is he selfish? Is he inconsiderate? will he forget my birthday? i know sweetheart, but guys can just be dense sometimes and i think a woman needs to communicate and give the guy a chance to understand!!!!! women are much better at this stuff and work on a different level than men. I am 40 so i understand these things, but i know when i was younger i was pretty damn dense!!!! I call this the "shakedown" a women will hang on every little word and read into things far too much in my experience! I try and be as considerate as possible but to be honest i have to work at it. It doesnt mean i dont care, just take people how they are and dont jump to conclusions. so yes expecting a man to not make a mistake is high expectations if you ask me. Why are you so defensive???? Is this topic a little too close to the bone????? No i am a ranter thats all, i enjoy debating and considering others points of veiws. i do this in all my posts. just part of who i am thats all. but frankly yes i did have this problem once in my life, but you know what i had the type of women that would that would tell me and i changed! To be honest i came to really enjoy being a gentleman, cause it made me feel good to make her feel good. But yes i know i am a realist and realists tend to over anylize everything i dont mean any offense by it, just who i am thats all. I will tell you though i am honest with my opinion and its thoughtful and genuine advice. i think its better than the alternative! I will also admit when i am wrong! |
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i usually have a game plan ,but i have had planned dates and the woman i took on the date hated it....please tell me whats wrong with going to a bar on the beach(tiki bar)having a few drinks then wanting sex..come on whats wrong with that..some smooth reggae kickin,the beach,me...what else would they want  Not a thing. Pick me up at 8.
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maybe its not so much that he doesnt have any game plan...maybe the benefit is that he just wants to spend some time with you...  ..
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No i am a ranter thats all, i enjoy debating and considering others points of veiws. i do this in all my posts. just part of who i am thats all. but frankly yes i did have this problem once in my life, but you know what i had the type of women that would that would tell me and i changed! To be honest i came to really enjoy being a gentleman, cause it made me feel good to make her feel good. But yes i know i am a realist and realists tend to over anylize everything i dont mean any offense by it, just who i am thats all. I will tell you though i am honest with my opinion and its thoughtful and genuine advice. i think its better than the alternative! I will also admit when i am wrong! Thanks for that.... I was wondering what was going on..... me? I am just obnoxious , is all... 
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Edited by
raiderfan_32
on
Fri 02/06/09 02:18 PM
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... than men. I am 40 so i .... some how when I read this, that press conference with Oklahoma State Head Coach Mike Gundy came to mind.. "I'm a man! I'm 40!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0 |
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Hmmm. My experience at starting dating again after being married for a while has been this.
Have a plan, but be flexible. Lets go out for dinner, my favorite place is XYZ, would you like that or should we go to your favorite place? The play starts at 8, they start seating at 7:30, where should we meet for dinner? I have dinner reservations for 7:30 at ABC's and I will pick you up at 6, we can chat for a bit then go. jmho |
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Even though she has texted him back with her reply.. I just don't understand whats the problem.. All my life whenever I asked someone out I ususally had a thought as to why I wanted them to come along. And what I was going to be doing? If its a second date , hopefully I would of by then known some of her likes and dislikes and planned accordingly..Isn't dating about getting to know each other? This guy sounded like a jerk.. plain and simple...He just didn't want to put any effort into it. thats all.
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Here is the basics. Meet a guy, he asked to go out again. I said ok, so he calls and asks what am I doing this weekend. So I am honest ( or dense ) and I say I just have to do some cleaning around the house and psych, math homework and a writing assignment due on monday I have to finish. Again he asks " so, do you have any plans for this weekend?" After the 3rd time he asks the same question I finally ask, " Are you asking me to go out?' His reply was " well think of something to do and let me know before 5pm on friday." WTF? Am I missing something here? I thought that if you call a person to ask him or her out, that there should be some sort of plans already in motion, ie... how about movies or would you rather just do dinner? Or is this something new that is socially acceptible now-a-days? You are right. Thats Woman Dating Etiquette 101 or should be. |
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... than men. I am 40 so i .... some how when I read this, that press conference with Oklahoma State Head Coach Mike Gundy came to mind.. "I'm a man! I'm 40!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0 Acctually not even close. I am very calm right now...... I am an extremely confident person as well, maybe a little cocky. I dont get like that at all i'm more of the self intraflecting type. To be quite farnk sometimes i feel like im the only one telling the truth on here. I leave myself wide open to opinions an insults because i am confident in who i am as a person. But yes im human and i get offended at times, but i wasnt at all in this case. i think i made a long winded valid point really. |
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Gosh, part of me wants to say give him a break. That maybe he just didn't know how to ask for you to make some time for him to just hang out.
But, that first date at your home thing is SO NOT OKAY and he should know that. And calling and saying "Would you like to hang out this weekend" is SO DIFFERENT than "get with me by 5 Friday with plans". If the first date was worth it, tell him you can see him, and since you DO have all those things to do, give him a couple of choices as to when you are free. And explain how you need to be asked. |
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No i am a ranter thats all, i enjoy debating and considering others points of veiws. i do this in all my posts. just part of who i am thats all. but frankly yes i did have this problem once in my life, but you know what i had the type of women that would that would tell me and i changed! To be honest i came to really enjoy being a gentleman, cause it made me feel good to make her feel good. But yes i know i am a realist and realists tend to over anylize everything i dont mean any offense by it, just who i am thats all. I will tell you though i am honest with my opinion and its thoughtful and genuine advice. i think its better than the alternative! I will also admit when i am wrong! Thanks for that.... I was wondering what was going on..... me? I am just obnoxious , is all... no prob! Hey less than a paragraph, i am so proud of myself....
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Hmmm. My experience at starting dating again after being married for a while has been this. Have a plan, but be flexible. Lets go out for dinner, my favorite place is XYZ, would you like that or should we go to your favorite place? The play starts at 8, they start seating at 7:30, where should we meet for dinner? I have dinner reservations for 7:30 at ABC's and I will pick you up at 6, we can chat for a bit then go. jmho That's a good way to go about it. |
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Hmmm. My experience at starting dating again after being married for a while has been this. Have a plan, but be flexible. Lets go out for dinner, my favorite place is XYZ, would you like that or should we go to your favorite place? The play starts at 8, they start seating at 7:30, where should we meet for dinner? I have dinner reservations for 7:30 at ABC's and I will pick you up at 6, we can chat for a bit then go. jmho That's a good way to go about it. Thank You, I try to be reasonable.
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i can't imagine why there are so many single women here?
ever think that maybe he wanted to spend time with you and that it didn't matter to him exactly what you guys were doing? maybe he doesn't know you well enough to put plans in motion. he wouldn't want to get tickets to a hockey game and then later find out that you hated hockey. and of course, some of us men are insecure. who wouldn't be when every move they make is scrutinized on the internet. "hey ladies, can you believe he did this?" and just because he said let me know by 5 doesn't mean he had backup plans. all it means is that if you don't let him know he's gonna find something else to do. |
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If he is giving you a deadline he has back up plans. Which means one day you will probably be the back up plan. You shouldnt waste your time. I had an ex tell me that he always has a back up plan. One other good reason that he is my ex. |
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