Let's face it, dating is tough. It's even tougher when you have to get
past the social hurdles in the dating scene. No matter what, you must
always remember that it's your first priority to be true to yourself and
make sure you're with the person you're seeing for the right reasons. If
you don't look out for yourself, no one else will.

Some people go through life thinking that they will never find. "The
One". So they settle. They settle for abusive relationships, selfish
lovers, cheaters, and liars just because they don't want to be alone.
They overlook the fact that
sometimes being alone for a while is the best thing. Being alone gives
you the opportunity to contemplate and decide what you're looking for,
where you want to look for it, and ultimately, where you want to be five
or ten years down the road.

I'm not saying that you can plan out any relationship and follow each
step of it like a schedule. The truth is, you never know what is going
to happen. But if you know just a little bit of what you want out of a
relationship, it will only be a benefit to you and the person you're
seeing. Nothing is worse than being with someone who doesn't know what
they want.

That being said, there are some things you ought to consider before
giving your heart. Your most precious possession away. So what are some
of the things you should look for in a relationship? Or should at least
be your guidle lines in setting the standard?



One all should consider to me is : Do not be with someone who is jealous
whether they are jealous of your relationships with your friends, or
don't trust you to go out without them there. Without trust, a
relationship has no foundation.

I'm sure there are many more that can be added to this any ideals?

All I can add to this is, Dont always trust your feelings.

I am the worst about that.

Great post Txs.....I think someone asked a similar question a while ago
but my answer would still be the same today. Before someone would be
that close to my heart, there would have to be trust. You said it's the
foundation and I agree. Without it, there is no next step and no going
forward.

Humor, confidence, passion, compassion, empathy, energy, intimacy and
faith. Similar interests, values and morals.

Have been single for quite some time and would never settle just for the
sake of being in a relationship. And you're right, being single really
gives a person the time to look at self, get to know self again, to find
and know what you want and don't want, not just in yourself but in the
next relationship.

Another I would watch out for is someone that try's to control you. No
matter what they must have the last word and they want it to be done
there way only.

I've found hat soulmates come in many forms...

And, it's knowng you've met...

May not be a romantic touch, but soulmates nonetheless...

I also feel that many folks have a few others on the side waiting...
because they feel there is always something better, so it's bound to
fail since they've already set it up that way...

people have become "easy, quick, please me" culture.

I think we forget time is what it takes. reality, patience, and more
time...

This is a really interesting topic. I'm glad you put "Soul Mate Or No
Soul Mate" in the title, because I think there is a lot to be said on
that aspect alone.

We live in a society that glorifies love at first sight, true love, soul
mates, etc. These notions tend to take key components — like hard work
and personal growth in the relationship — completely out of the picture.
It also sets people up to fail and to feel like they've lost their "one
and only" when a relationship doesn't work out.

Relationships are work. Hard work. People who fail to realize that
they need to be _active_ participants in the growth of their
relationships are doomed to have failed or dysfunctional relationships
(romantic or otherwise).

The notion that there is such a thing as a "soul mate" is romanticized
Hollywood drivel. So, how many "soul mates" does a person have over the
years? Just one? A series of soul mates? I don't buy into some
mystical connection that rules over my love life, and I think it's
unhealthy when people do so because it removes from them a sense of
personal responsibility for their lives, actions, and decisions.

What are the components of a successful relationship? I think it comes
down to three specific aspects which tend to bleed into one another:
lust, love, and personality compatibility. Lust is that initial
attraction, the feeling that we can't let the other person out of our
sight for even a moment for fear of missing even one iota of their
brilliance. Lust is often confused for love, but quite frequently leads
to love. But lust is fleeting, rearing its head now and again
throughout the relationship after the initial obsession has passed. I
would say that the key difference between the two is that (despite what
many people say) lust is blind to imperfections, and love recognizes and
fully accepts those imperfections. Personality compatibility is what
lets people live together and share their lives together for the
long-term, growing through the good times and the bad, sharing in
day-to-day interests. It's this compatibility that strengthens the love
people have for one another.

What we see too often is people who draw _no_ distinction between these
three. Young people in particular lack the experience and wisdom to
know that lust isn't the same as love. More mature and experienced
people tend to not make that mistake, but do mistake a deep love for a
genuine compatibility, and that's when many people realize that they
have "irreconcilable differences" and get divorced. The love often
remains, but there's too little they have in common to make the
relationship last. Life and love are hard, aren't they?

One other thing that's important is circumstance. The other three are
internal to the relationship, but there's an external component that
cannot be overlooked. Family, illness, financial hardship, etc. can all
play a role and in some cases (but not all) are insurmountable.

In any case, the concept that "love conquers all" is complete hooey.
Sometimes love is enough to overcome a hurdle, and sometimes not. That
doesn't mean we don't still strive for good relationships, but it's rare
that a relationship ever resembles a _perfect_ union. If there were
such a thing as a "perfect union" and there were never any work, never
any pain, never any problems — wouldn't that cheapen the relationship
and the love? It wouldn't mean much if it's never put to a real-world
test, and we would be cheating ourselves out of the remarkable ability
to prove our love in meaningful ways (e.g., supporting a loved one in
time of great difficulty or sorrow, forgiving a contrite partner for
causing us pain, etc.). It is during those times that we have the
opportunity to shine and really grow our love for one another.

I'll go further and say people set THEMSELVES up, rather than blaming
any media.

We have minds of our own... least you'ld think so, anyway.

And, love does it all.

Reality and love aren't magic. It can be at times...but, if two people
understand each other and remember to leave those fantastic ideals
behind... wow, what if, eh?

Like I said, soul mates don't have to be romantically inclined...I have
freinds whom are my soulmates... it's an awesome thing!

People need to take responsibility for themselves. And, I'll tell ya it
seems far and few between now that I see it happen.

Jane said:"Humor, confidence, passion, compassion, empathy, energy,
intimacy and
faith. Similar interests, values and morals."

I wholeheartedly agree. An underrated aspect to being a soulmate is
humor. A great disposition between 2 people who look at life with
happiness and humor, instead of bleakness and dourness is important.
Similar interests values and morals are very important also.

Have my soulmate, was the best thing in my life.
Will find her again & wish what we have for all of you

You are all so very right. I do believe there are ones out there for us.
But no matter what relationships are somethng that two people must be on
the same wave length. And willing to make things work. To be honest
with each other and respect them as well. They should be best
friends,lovers,companions and be able to trust each other. They must
have humor in the relantionship for at times we all need the laughter.
There is no fairy tales with the happily ever after. There is no pot of
Gold at the end of the Ranibow. For I promise you if it last a life time
it took work to get there. It is one thing in Life that two people join
together and vow to do all they can to make it work and it will take
both giving 100%. For that is one union that will not make it if both
parties are not willing to work for what it could be like. There are a
lot of road blocks ahead at times that will and can stand in the way.
And at times even those that gave there all could not make it over one
of those road blocks and make it last a life time. But... in no way is
it an impossible dream either. For it can work and many has made it. But
that is a lot to do with two people that has reached that point and have
learned it is a give and take relationship.

I already posted a similar post a few day ago.

Humm well if you did sorry I did not see it nor do I recall it sure
there was some differnce to it. For each of us see things and word
things in a differnt way. Just thought it was something to think about.
And to see what others thought about it.

yes yours is worded different this is true.......

Awesome Post Ms Txs,,, And with all that is said,, Not much more can
really be added,,,, You are Rockinnnnnnnnnnn

So what are some of the things you should look for in a relationship?

Or should at least be your guidelines in setting the standard?


Good post TxsGal...

What do I look for?

Firstly, I don't look..I just am doing my thing..friends come from
everywhere..all my relationships are friendships.

Partnerships, as in romantic relationships for me, start with
confidence, and comfortable behaviours in themselves. Intelligence,
combined with empathy, compassion and an awareness of the world at
large, from the ants at one's feet to the stars in the sky.

Sensitivity, and creativity, but the biggest, the most primary
indicator, and the common thread through any romantic relationships I
have been in,has been acceptance..of me and who I am, respect that this
is who I am, and what I feel, see, and think, are a part of me.

These are the similarities I look for in a partner, as they are what I
have for another.

I get to be me, and you get to be you.. I don't want you molding me into
who you want me to be, and I dont get to do that either.

A gentle heart shines through...for me.

love ...feelings ...emotions..... it's all chemistry my dear Watson!!!


to take it seriously, (in the sense that one 'believes' it) is one hell
of a roller coaster ride...

personally... i don't buy it at all


unless of course it's nene or roxanne or ursula or kimi...or jess

muaaaaahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaa



as for men....naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa not a chance....the chemistry that drives
them has been tainted and toxic for the last 3000 years....

busy with the upgrades ....hheeee heh

Stop teasing with the dooughnut you..I can't decide if it's you or the
doughnut I am salivating for..or both..

(Think I will go with both)

strudellllllllllllllllllllllllllll


tongue hanging our dripping saliva........


allllllllllllllllllll

overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


keyssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

drip drip drip............

there is nothing really that awesome, it is clumping souls in a catagory







phittttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

gee where is the clone emote oh here it is