I've been married almost 20 years. I've had several conversations with
my wife about this very topic, but wondered what some you thought. My
wife felt that if we had it to do over again, we might not get married.
Not because we don't want to be together, but our bond is not based on a
what it is -Marrige is really either about religion, or about forcing a
legal stamp on your bond. It is less required as time passes, since
many places now allow non-married unions to have some of the benefits -
partially thanks to gay rights I suppose. I also suppose some people
will have reason I'm not educated about, so I'd like to hear that too.
I just wonder, if you met someone who you wanted to be with for the rest
of your life, would it be a requirement that you get married?

what up rider, i don't think that it is necessary to get married. as you
said, it is only a piece of paper and what really matters is the level
of commitment that those two poeple have towards each other. i've seen
instances where people were just shackin up but did it for the rest of
their lives. some people take the plunge into marriage but don't have
the commitment and you are not going to get it from a piece of paper.
when i was growing up i didn't think that i would ever get married and i
probably never will but it doesn't have anything to do with my level of
commitment. people often talk shit when they are upset but i don't think
anyone i have ever known has doubted my level of commitment to a
girlfriend or a friend.

ANd what is one piece of paper compared to another...no one needs to get
married...what u do when u r married ucan certainly do when u r not...

well in catholic belief a marriage is sopposed to be sacrement in wich
the bond that is there is made stronger through the graces of god to
help the two people stay together and raise children

but isn't only made stronger because they think that it goes against the
word of GOD if they were to abandon it.

I suppose by marriage you mean the modern definition, i.e., a license
from the government. If you will read in Black Law Dictionary, a license
is a permit granted by competent authority to do what would otherwise be
illegal.
This is most understandable in reference to going on someone's land. If
that person does not give you permission or license to come on his land,
then you are trespassing.
Marriage existed long before governments, and is not illegal. The
marriage license originated to allow blacks and whites to intermarry,
because there were laws against miscegentation, interracial marriage. In
the mid 1960's the Supreme Court struck down the laws as being
"unconstitutional."
The marriage license was kept, making people think they had to have a
license. By getting a license, you make the state a third party to your
marriage. This gives the state considerable influence over the marriage.
It is however lawful to marry, without a license, and just record a
marriage certificate in publice records, but you do not have to do that.
Marriage is a contract between the two partners getting married. It is a
contract as much as two people entering into a business partnership,
because that is exactly what it is. After 20 years you should understand
that. It has nothing to do with religion. Atheist marry. Remember your
vows, will you do....?, not will you feel like doing....? Marriage is
not religious, nor civil, it is an agreement between two people, which
use to be exclusively male and female. Some of us still think it is.

Thanks everyone for the replies. And Roger, I see what you are saying.
I know this is why in someplace if you live with someone for a given
amount of time you become "common law" married. Meaning since you spent
x-years together you are defacto married. With or without the title I
surely am married to my wife. We are in business together keeping our
house and kids a float.

Cheers all,
Dave

no.

Just living with someone is not in itself enough to make you a common
law couple. You must live as if you are married...
for example, filing taxes together, joint insurance policies, even
introducing the person as your spouse.
Interestingly enough, there is not a common law divorce. You must still
seek a legal remedy if you choose to end the relationship.

It's not just a paper. Marriage gives you many legal rights.
I would also venture that most people try harder if they have that piece
of paper. Marriage is a contract, and only as good as the people who
enter into it.

Since marriage isn't what it used to be, in a lot of cases it is just a
joke, I don't feel it is necessary at all. I would actually prefer to
be with someone who was there only because they wanted to be, instead of
because they were afraid of losing stuff in a divorce settlement.

Marriage is a waste of time and money. If you two have a serious
commitment to each other, then why have a piece of paper stating that
you are committed? I often think about the bad things as well as the
good. Say it wasn't to last, then you have to pay out the rear to get a
divorce...

If I found someone I loved and they loved me back, I know that unless
they wanted to, I wouldn't get married. The feelings are there, you
don't need a piece of paper telling you that you love each other.

WELL I SAY....WAIT 5 YEARS IF YOU CAN STILL TOLERATE EACHOTHER AND ARE
MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER GET MARRIED!!
IVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED AND IM IN NO HURRY TO DO SO
I THINK TIME IS IN ORDER HERE

Usually it's a womam thing to want to tie the knote.(or the ball and
chain. LOL)

But I don't really see the difference other then she may get pressured
by relitives or friends who advise her to get married. Mostly IMHO they
want the security of a legal status so incase they have to seperate they
wont be left out in the cold sort of speak.

It's really a cultural thing to get married in our society. It seems to
shift back and forth though. One decade it's the in thing to just live
together, next decade it's in to get married. So I guess go with the
flow or start your own custom. How about a lease system like at the end
of the lease you can either decide to stay married or split. It's just
in model stage so a lot of issues need to be addressed. LOL

Ghostrecon

Ghostrecon

Marriage to me is important but it is not to be rushed into lightly
either. Marriage is about making a vow and I stick to my vows. I just
wish my ex felt the same way. A vow/promiss should not ever be broken.

i have done both! i like schacking up better!!