Topic: Job Opening
millsdd's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:45 PM
POSITION: Mother

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent
work in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings, weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts
on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping
sites on rainy weekends, away sports matches and occasional visits to
the ER. Travel expenses are not reimbursed.

RESPONSIBILITIES: Must provide on-site training in basic life skills,
such as nose-blowing and shoe-tying.

Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis
management. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.

Must be able to think outside of the box, but not lose track of the box,
because most likely you will need the box for a school project.

Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing
budgets and resources fairly.

Must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse
conditions while simultaneously practicing above-mentioned skills in
conflict resolution.

Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
zero to 60 mph in three seconds.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of
all ages and mental outlooks.

Must have diverse general knowledge so as to answer questions such as
"what makes the wind move" spontaneously.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your jobs are
to remain in the same position for years, without complaining. You must
constantly retrain and update your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and
bonuses.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life.


Take a special moment this Sunday to recognize the hard-working Mom in
your life!

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:47 PM
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

masterpiece2's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:47 PM
i love it , its lovely thing being a mother

LAMom's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:49 PM
Being A Mother is the Best Job I have ever had,,, Wouldn't change it for
the World,,, flowerforyou

God Bless Mom,,, Your spirit will always remain in my Heart & Soul
:heart:

Millsdd Thanks for sharing this,,, Beautifulflowerforyou

twosteper's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:51 PM
to all moms out there


hugs n kisses from this ole rock a billy

my mom is done passed on but i can still pay tribute to all moms

party on...drinker drinker drinker drinker

LAMom's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:51 PM
drinker drinker drinker (((( two )))))

ladypegasus's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:51 PM
Thank you guys.

pagrby's photo
Fri 05/11/07 03:54 PM
I remember those days. This will be the 1st mothers day ever for me
that I won't see either one of my children. Gonna be a bummer. I'm
sure they'll call though.

rivergirl301's photo
Fri 05/11/07 04:28 PM
pagryb: Somehow I got the dates mixed up and the ex has my kids for the
weekend, so we are in the same boat. I'll see them Sunday night, though,
w/all their dirty laundry! Happy Mother's Day! MJ

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 05/11/07 06:09 PM
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

Meeshep's photo
Fri 05/11/07 06:30 PM
Thank you millsddflowerforyou

Happy Mother's Day to you and yours, past and present, young and
old.flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
flowerforyou

SheNerd's photo
Fri 05/11/07 06:31 PM
Happy Mother's Day to all. :)

eileena9's photo
Fri 05/11/07 06:36 PM
It is the greatest job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for
anything. Thanks to all who passed on the wishes and my wishes to all
the mothers here and passed! flowerforyou flowerforyou
flowerforyou
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou