Topic: Giving Him the Real Reasons
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Mon 06/29/09 05:07 PM

it was too long to read and i'm far to lazy so i agree with everyone else.


she dated a loser, she dumped him, he wanted to know why, she didn't tell him. and now she wishes she had. that's the condensed version.

OrangeCat's photo
Mon 06/29/09 05:08 PM
that the prob with people,no one wants to say the reason,which is stupid.


its so much easier to just say up front and be done with it,then deal with it down the road

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Mon 06/29/09 05:11 PM


it was too long to read and i'm far to lazy so i agree with everyone else.


she dated a loser, she dumped him, he wanted to know why, she didn't tell him. and now she wishes she had. that's the condensed version.



well why ever didn't she come right out and say so? well i agree with u whatever u decide, thank u flowerforyou

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Tue 06/30/09 04:20 AM

I'm pretty sure if he stays away from you he will be fine!


good answer!

geez, im sorry i missed these, but i had to run somewhere!

yes, he may be fine but is ignorance really bliss? is living the delusion really living?

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Tue 06/30/09 04:21 AM


I broke up with a guy recently. He was baffled. He thought things were going so well and that the relationship had had real 'potential.' I found myself biting my lip to giving any details that would answer the question 'Why?'.

I should have liked to be honest and tell him he spoke too much about his mother, that I couldn't stand those plaid shorts and that maybe he should never even wear shorts, that I lost all sexual attraction when he actually allowed me to pay his beer, that having his car towed cause he had an expired tag AND no proof of insurance made him a loser...the list goes on. Yes, he did need dental. No, he shouldn't have only replaced the lenses of those frames. Yes, he did need a shower before we got intimate. Don't brag about a cheap, bad haircut. Driving a classic doesn't automatically make you cute or interesting. The list goes ON.

I think he would benefit in a future relationship if he knew maybe some things to do or not do. Isn't that better for him than letting him scratch his head about my ending it, or do I simply have a greater sadistic side than I realize?





I call it constructive criticism. How old is this guy? He sounds fresh out of high school.


47.. yikes!

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Tue 06/30/09 04:23 AM


I broke up with a guy recently. He was baffled. He thought things were going so well and that the relationship had had real 'potential.' I found myself biting my lip to giving any details that would answer the question 'Why?'.

I should have liked to be honest and tell him he spoke too much about his mother, that I couldn't stand those plaid shorts and that maybe he should never even wear shorts, that I lost all sexual attraction when he actually allowed me to pay his beer, that having his car towed cause he had an expired tag AND no proof of insurance made him a loser...the list goes on. Yes, he did need dental. No, he shouldn't have only replaced the lenses of those frames. Yes, he did need a shower before we got intimate. Don't brag about a cheap, bad haircut. Driving a classic doesn't automatically make you cute or interesting. The list goes ON.

I think he would benefit in a future relationship if he knew maybe some things to do or not do. Isn't that better for him than letting him scratch his head about my ending it, or do I simply have a greater sadistic side than I realize?






you should have been more honest with him, he did deserve to know the real truth



i should have taken longer to prepare a statement for him. it couldve sounded like an attack.. like i was the one with the issues.

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Tue 06/30/09 04:23 AM
people don't wanna know what's wrong with em. They'll just get defensive and resentful

better to just say "it's not you, it's me" even if it really is them

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Tue 06/30/09 04:25 AM

people can not correct their flaws if they're never brought to their attention. you should have told him before/as you were dumping him. if you do it now it you will only sound like a bitter ex who's trying to hurt him.


. . .


im afraid i agree. the chance is lost unless he presses further.

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Tue 06/30/09 04:27 AM

If he was such a loser, why did you go out with him in the first place.???


sometimes a girl will try out a guy who seems nice and sometimes we, i guess, find out some things we dont like or maybe he wasnt all that nice in the first place.

gossiping is not nice.

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Tue 06/30/09 04:27 AM


If he was such a loser, why did you go out with him in the first place.???


maybe she didn't know he was a loser, or he became a loser during the relationship? it happens, trust me


yep:banana:

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Tue 06/30/09 04:27 AM


If he was such a loser, why did you go out with him in the first place.???


sometimes a girl will try out a guy who seems nice and sometimes we, i guess, find out some things we dont like or maybe he wasnt all that nice in the first place.

gossiping is not nice.


just when other people do it

its okay when I do it

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Tue 06/30/09 04:29 AM


I'm sure he knew, it's like when a girl says it's not you it's me. You know she's sparing your "feelings". People know there shortcommings. Life goes on.


not all the time; you have a lot of social deviants who have no clue why they are alone and considered undateable by any woman with standards.


yes, some are living the delusion

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Tue 06/30/09 04:31 AM

people don't wanna know what's wrong with em. They'll just get defensive and resentful

better to just say "it's not you, it's me" even if it really is them


thats kind of sad or self defeating or something

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Tue 06/30/09 04:33 AM


people don't wanna know what's wrong with em. They'll just get defensive and resentful

better to just say "it's not you, it's me" even if it really is them


thats kind of sad or self defeating or something


or something

breaking up is sad and self defeating enough as it is

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Tue 06/30/09 04:34 AM



If he was such a loser, why did you go out with him in the first place.???


maybe she didn't know he was a loser, or he became a loser during the relationship? it happens, trust me


Bad teeth, BO, clothing choices, and a bad hair cut were there in her face when she first met him.
That didn't show up after they were intimate.


some actually make that first impression. a lot of guys look good in a tux or clean up for events

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Tue 06/30/09 04:38 AM
Edited by savagirl on Tue 06/30/09 04:39 AM


I broke up with a guy recently. He was baffled. He thought things were going so well and that the relationship had had real 'potential.' I found myself biting my lip to giving any details that would answer the question 'Why?'.

I should have liked to be honest and tell him he spoke too much about his mother, that I couldn't stand those plaid shorts and that maybe he should never even wear shorts, that I lost all sexual attraction when he actually allowed me to pay his beer, that having his car towed cause he had an expired tag AND no proof of insurance made him a loser...the list goes on. Yes, he did need dental. No, he shouldn't have only replaced the lenses of those frames. Yes, he did need a shower before we got intimate. Don't brag about a cheap, bad haircut. Driving a classic doesn't automatically make you cute or interesting. The list goes ON.

I think he would benefit in a future relationship if he knew maybe some things to do or not do. Isn't that better for him than letting him scratch his head about my ending it, or do I simply have a greater sadistic side than I realize?





And you were initially attracted to him, why? huh


Doesn't say a lot for you....this post.ohwell




c'est une bonne questione!

he seemed outgoing and nice. i thought i'd have a closer look.

Anonimoose's photo
Tue 06/30/09 04:41 AM

people don't wanna know what's wrong with em. They'll just get defensive and resentful

better to just say "it's not you, it's me" even if it really is them



I disagree ... I'd like to know, so that if there are things that I can change, and am willing to change (that's the key), I can do that.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can be pretty oblivious sometimes ... and I've had situations (dating relationships and friendships) where people have just stopped communicating with me altogether, leaving me to wonder what happened ... now, I have some friends that I have told, "If I do or say something that bothers you, I may not realize it ... so please feel free to tell me!"

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Tue 06/30/09 04:48 AM
isn't just about every break up this way?

what about the time ak0 just didn't want to view less than desirable family members

some things just don't seem right to say

but then they'll never know

good question

what hurts them more: knowing or not knowing?

Muck92116's photo
Tue 06/30/09 04:55 AM
these questions are too easy. It's the damned internet right....


Just say yes or whatever they want to hear guys. I hope we're all single and looking.

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Tue 06/30/09 05:06 AM


people don't wanna know what's wrong with em. They'll just get defensive and resentful

better to just say "it's not you, it's me" even if it really is them



I disagree ... I'd like to know, so that if there are things that I can change, and am willing to change (that's the key), I can do that.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can be pretty oblivious sometimes ... and I've had situations (dating relationships and friendships) where people have just stopped communicating with me altogether, leaving me to wonder what happened ... now, I have some friends that I have told, "If I do or say something that bothers you, I may not realize it ... so please feel free to tell me!"


I'm so with you here......but it's not often you will get someone to actually give you a straight answer.