When does supporting become enabling? I have a g/f who broke up with
her long- time love four months ago... running out of supportive
responses - time to say "Oh for F*** sake, get over him?..."

I think supporting becomes enabling when the person you are supporting,
their behavior becomes unreasonable. Four months doesn't seem that long
for a long time relationship. Are you the only one she runs to crying?

lol. haha! Just say get over him then I guess. Tell her move on

It's always going to be there as a part of her past. Usually by giving
her the space to vent and your giving her comfort and support, you will
most definately win her over. Tough break ups are not easy to deal
with. Just be understanding and comforting.

Hi PG

I don't understand why people whine and mope for months or years over
break-ups. It's over, deal with it.
Unless there are kids involved, move on.
Life's too short for all of that crap.

River

She will share her broken hearted whoa is me story with anyone--- she's
an emotional person, imo

Kid and Bored

Yep... my thoughts exactly...

When does supporting become enabling?

I always believe helping people out where I can but there is a thing
called tough love I see to many people baby there friends and I say if
you want them to grow give them a kick in the A>S>S

...lacing up the boots....




Hello Shadow

Hello

Are thet steal toe boots? lol

Yes I had a friend who went through a break up and she couldn't get a
grip on it. I listened to her and comforted her (all hours of the day
and night) for over a year. I then told her I was wearing out and it was
putting my life on a down hill slide. She didn't care and kept calling
me and crying (day and night)....

So I went to Walmart and bought her one of those pair of XXXL granny
panties (she's a small woman)and I mailed them to her with a note that
said... "It's time to put your big girl panties on and get on with life.
Call only if you want to just have some fun and laughs"
That was 6 months ago and still haven't heard from her. According to her
daughter she still sits and cries and is running out of friends. (Oh did
I mentioned she refused counseling that I offered to take her to, many
times...)

I think of her everyday....

Enabling is to allow.

To be a pair of ears, and a pair of arms, and a shoulder.

Process is process, and time has no hold on how one feels.

If it takes a year, it takes a year, two, ten...it is hers or his
process.

No rescuing, no propping up. Just to be the ears and arms...nothing more
is required of you, and if you bought into more, then you bought into
more.

Not her or him.

It's always hard after a breakup ... I think though, that before you
can become involved with someone else you should be at least able to
have put the breakup behind you otherwise you will not be able to give
to the new relationship. I commend you for being able to handle it for 4
months. Personally, I do not think I could have.

Roses

Wildflower...

when you cant take any more purple its time to stop supporting and find
other things in your life that are healthy and dont zap your energy.


Not good for your friend either!


muahhhhhhh good luck

Thank you Purple

I think if you have had enough, you have had enough. I listened to my
sister, J., for years, literally, crying about her no-good husband. He
was abusive, and she really, really needed to get out. I was *there* for
her. It took a toll on me. Then she came back from summer vacation one
year and said my sister, V., who had gone on vacation with her convinced
her to leave her no-good husband. I was like, huh? She convinced you? I
wish I had every of those seconds of my life back that I gave up. I felt
used.

purple cant give you this on a testimonial cuz not on my friends list

so copy and keep*.*. * . ** . *.*OPEN
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