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Topic: Venting.
silly's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:18 PM
I just need to vent.Have been seeing this guy.He calls me everyday,but not today and we are suppose to get together tommorrow.Don't tell me that the day isn't over because he always has called me by now.

Yesterday when we spoke we both said that we couldn't wait.So what is up with that? And i know that he is ok because I saw that he was on the site that we met on.I even left him a messenge,which he has yet to read.but sometimes he reads it later or calls me before he has read it.

So what is up with that.? I just don't understand some men and I guess I just never will.

I think that I'm just going to be friends with men on this sites for now on and not expect anything else.

That way won't get hurt again.I'm just so sick of getting hurt and losing ppl that i love. I have a couple of really good girls friends on the site that i can talk to too.

I also have a few very close girlfriends that i have known for years I can always go to these ppl and they will be there for me again as then have in the past when i have lost ppl and I'm not just talking about men.They were there for me when I lost my daughter.If i can get through that then I can get through this.


Just had to vent.

2cool4school's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:21 PM
Venting is good! now breathe, never say never, and at least wait to see if the ER calls! Being late on a phone call really is not the death march of a relationship! flowerforyou

4974's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:22 PM
i feel your pain...i had same thing happen...and the sorry a--!!! dumped me in a text..because he found a woman that made him second guess us.... hope he isn't doing the same...good luck

no photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:24 PM
You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.

no photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:26 PM
Sounds like he changed his mind. It happens. Hope you get over it soon.flowerforyou

silly's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:30 PM

You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.



We have already met in person and have gone on dates.

I know that its his lost not mine but it stil hurts like hell

no photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:32 PM


You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.



We have already met in person and have gone on dates.

I know that its his lost not mine but it stil hurts like hell


Yeah, it does hurt. I didn't realize you'd already met in person. Sometimes we'll never know why another person does something, especially when it seemed to be going well previously. Sometimes, all you can do is swear at them (either in your head or in person) and try to let the hurt go.

no photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:33 PM


You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.



We have already met in person and have gone on dates.

I know that its his lost not mine but it stil hurts like hell


WOW!! Then that IS WEIRD!!! Perhaps he's ruminating over the relationship and is not prepared to speak. But, it would be nice if he at least acknowledged the date was still on and/or that he needed to have some personal time. Indeed, that kind of behaviour could end up his loss. That's got to hurt, and it would cause me to pause with regard to trust and judgement. Bless your heart!!

earthytaurus76's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:34 PM
Edited by earthytaurus76 on Mon 08/10/09 04:36 PM
OK silly, it actually makes me feel better to see I am not the only one!


I really feel a man should confirm day before, and same day..


That makes me insane.

YET they RARRRREELLLY if ever do.


They get offf worrkk at fiveeee that dayyyy.. no calll all dayyyy...

(they know what THEY intend to do)

Meanwhile weve shaved every part of out body but our head, given ourselves a extra moisturising treatment for the skin, gotten our hair and nails done.. probably bought something sexy to wear for the night, set out the outfit, put aside ALL of our other plans.

Gotten all happy and excited looking forward.. (even on the phone with him)

I mean yes been there.

Ya know what? I would call HIM!

Its customary for him to confirm. Im always like... umm.. hows it goin? ya know.. I say, "are we still on for tonight?' "ook, I just was wondering because you didnt call to confirm". Just find out.

Its rude for him to have you set aside time for him, (especially on a weekend night) and not even leave you so you can open up your plans for something else. (ya know like you dont have a freakin life of your own).

My man did this last week.. said he was going to come, and stop at a friends on a way for a half hr, which turned into 3, and then I didnt see him til much later that evening, than I had expected.

Ill tell you in my experience, this happens all the time in newer relationships (youd think it would be the opposite, and theyd be working hard to impress us)

NUP..

99% of the time, no matter how much even the two of you are excited, and are hyped together about getting together, the first date will ALWAYS be cancelled and postponed, and often in the first few months,

I dont know WHY this is.. it just is.. Without fail.

Good luck!

no photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:36 PM

OK silly, it actually makes me feel better to see I am not the only one!


I really feel a man should confirm day before, and same day..


That makes me insane.

YET they RARRRREELLLY if ever do.


They get offf worrkk at fiveeee that dayyyy.. no calll all dayyyy...

(they know what THEY intend to do)

Meanwhile weve shaved every part of out body but our head, given ourselves a extra moisturising treatment for the skin, gotten our hair and nails done.. probably bought something sexy to wear for the night, set out the outfit, put aside ALL of our other plans.

Gotten all happy and excited looking forward.. (even on the phone with him)

I mean yes been there.

Ya know what? I would call HIM!

Its customary for him to confirm. Im always like... umm.. hows it goin? ya know.. I say, "are we still on for tonight?' "ook, I just was wondering because you didnt call to confirm". Just find out.

Its rude for him to have you set aside time for him, (especially on a weekend night) and not even leave you so you can open up your plans for something else. (ya know like you dont have a freakin life of your own).

My man did this last week.. said he was going to come, and stop at a friends on a way for a half hr, which turned into 3, and then I didnt see him til much later than I had expected.

Ill tell you in my experience, this happens all the time in newer relationships (youd think it would be the opposite, and theyd be working hard to impress us)

NUP..

99% of the time, no matter how much even the two of you are excited, and are hyped together about getting together, the first date will ALWAYS be cancelled and postponed, and often in the first few months,

I dont know WHY this is.. it just is.. Without fail.

Good luck!


damn, i didn't think to advise her to call him. good idea, that way at least she'll know if he's still into it. drinker

silly's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:38 PM



You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.



We have already met in person and have gone on dates.

I know that its his lost not mine but it stil hurts like hell


WOW!! Then that IS WEIRD!!! Perhaps he's ruminating over the relationship and is not prepared to speak. But, it would be nice if he at least acknowledged the date was still on and/or that he needed to have some personal time. Indeed, that kind of behaviour could end up his loss. That's got to hurt, and it would cause me to pause with regard to trust and judgement. Bless your heart!!




Thanks u are such a sweetheart.

Mayhem_J's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:40 PM
Myabe hes working late...or maybe his phone died....

earthytaurus76's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:41 PM
HEELLL YEAHH.. know why? (i know what your thinking too, Im with ya) screw him right? why should you extend yourself?


Nah, the call is to bee like... uhhh ok.. whats up? ya know?

We doin this? Or should I make other plans?

Im not saying tell him your all ready, so theres a different guy you could have sex with.. not like that.. no rudeness.. just like aaaaa..


ya know. "i have a life, out with it" call..

Ive sat at home on a FEW weekends cos noone confirmed til late.

PFFT!! Im a busy girl.. If hes not interested, Im doing something else, and WHAT is NUNYA!! lol

silly's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:44 PM
Thanks all u guys.I knew i could count on u.There really are a great many ppl on here.flowerforyou

newarkjw's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:45 PM
Maybe he stopped off to get his hair and nails done........smokin

silly's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:47 PM

Myabe hes working late...or maybe his phone died....


If working late he has the cell phone and work phone he has called me from both of them


also at phone he has cell phone and land line.

earthytaurus76's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:49 PM
If its tomorrow night, i would wait til a little later this evening for him to call, like fear said, he could be doin something, or something happened or came up, but like id say.. dont have too much faith in seeing him if he doesnt call tonight, and for sure if by he doesnt call you by mid afternoon tomorrow. :wink:

silly's photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:50 PM



You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.



We have already met in person and have gone on dates.

I know that its his lost not mine but it stil hurts like hell


Yeah, it does hurt. I didn't realize you'd already met in person. Sometimes we'll never know why another person does something, especially when it seemed to be going well previously. Sometimes, all you can do is swear at them (either in your head or in person) and try to let the hurt go.



have already sweared at him,u wouldn't want to hear what has come out of my mouth.didn't know i could curse like that.

no photo
Mon 08/10/09 04:51 PM




You aren't alone in this perplexing phenomenon and both genders do this.
I think it may be that they fear they will get what they asked for and realize they'll not only have to show who they are more completely, but may feel the pressure of being impelled to do something harder in the relationship than talk online or by phone.
I also know some folks do it because they are afraid of being rejected once seen in person.
As we see the odd behaviours exhibited by others, we have the opportunity to live and learn and safeguard ourselves better.



We have already met in person and have gone on dates.

I know that its his lost not mine but it stil hurts like hell


Yeah, it does hurt. I didn't realize you'd already met in person. Sometimes we'll never know why another person does something, especially when it seemed to be going well previously. Sometimes, all you can do is swear at them (either in your head or in person) and try to let the hurt go.



have already sweared at him,u wouldn't want to hear what has come out of my mouth.didn't know i could curse like that.


LOL drinker

LeAiTàeRiSpEtTo20's photo
Mon 08/10/09 05:29 PM

I just need to vent.Have been seeing this guy.He calls me everyday,but not today and we are suppose to get together tommorrow.Don't tell me that the day isn't over because he always has called me by now.

Yesterday when we spoke we both said that we couldn't wait.So what is up with that? And i know that he is ok because I saw that he was on the site that we met on.I even left him a messenge,which he has yet to read.but sometimes he reads it later or calls me before he has read it.

So what is up with that.? I just don't understand some men and I guess I just never will.

I think that I'm just going to be friends with men on this sites for now on and not expect anything else.

That way won't get hurt again.I'm just so sick of getting hurt and losing ppl that i love. I have a couple of really good girls friends on the site that i can talk to too.

I also have a few very close girlfriends that i have known for years I can always go to these ppl and they will be there for me again as then have in the past when i have lost ppl and I'm not just talking about men.They were there for me when I lost my daughter.If i can get through that then I can get through this.


Just had to vent.
you are asking a Question all of us wish we could answer, sometimes people do weird things. just let it be and see what happens, I feel your pain I totally know what your talking about. People are a bit care free these days when it comes to people feelings, but just don't give up on us, there is still some good guys here. you are more than welcome to talk to me if you ever need something, keep your head up, and don't let anyone ever tell you, your not something special.

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