What is it?

How do we find it?

How do we lose it?

What is the significance of it?


I was immersed in a conversation a few days ago which ran the gammut from increasing street violence, drugs and prostitution, to the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, to a local homeless shelter, to genocide in Africa, to the medicare debate in the States...

I was struck by the dichotomy of connection/disconnection ...

We buy children video games to numb them out and teach them to be soldiers and call that entertainment.

Studies are showing that teenagers are losing the ability to communicate face-to-face because most of their interactions are online or by text.

Depression, schizophrenia, bi-polar and ADHD and a host of other illnesses are running rampant through the minds of the masses.

We are wired for connection, yet we seem to be a world spiraling into more and more disconnection ...


What are your thoughts?

OVER LOADED CIRCUITS OF THE BRAIN, MAN..........

Connections are really growing if you ask me... you can connect with people around the world at the drop of a hat. I understand that face to face connections are falling, but a connection is a connection. I can connect with people I will never have the chance to meet. There may be a little old lady in a small that is just like me... how do I get a face to face connection with that person?

I understand what you are saying... that traditional connections dont exist anymore. Growing is being open to new things. Just because its not what we are all used to, does not make it the wrong way to go. I would never have known how to make Gumbo, if my friend, whom I have never met face to face, wouldnt have texted it to me.

Hello Th3Friend

Thank you for your reply.

I agree with you ... I have made wonderful friends all over the world. Some I have met face-to-face. Others I have not but the connection and love I feel for them is the same.


I suppose what I am thinking about here, although I am having a challenge articulating because there are multiple streams of thought going on in my head at once, is something quite basic and fundamentally core.

When we feel a connection with something or someone, we have more consideration, empathy, and care. I wouldn't vandalize a car ... not because it is against the law ... but because it would inflict harm on another.

I won't litter ... because I feel a deep respect for the earth.


How would we live differently if we knew we were connected with everyone... felt it ... lived it? Could war prevail as just one example? I don't think so ...

I see connection as being tightly interwoven with communication.

It seems to me that most of the maladies you mention could be handled, or at least mitigated, by more and better communication. And when I say communication, I don’t mean just “talking”, I mean “an exchange of ideas” where each party fully grasps the ideas that the other is trying to convey. Unfortunately, this does not happen often enough. And I believe that is largely due to the fact that people do not know how to communicate - or at least, not how to remedy a communication failure.

Witness the arguments that result from miscommunication in this forum alone. If the extremely intellegent people in this forum have trouble communicating, is it any wonder that the rest of the world cannot seem to communicate effectively?

I think you're right.

Hello Sky

While I agree with you that communication is a component, I believe that connection (heart centered) is what needs to be cultivated.

I've watched the 'wars' in these threads by intelligent people ... yes. So is communication really the answer? I believe it is but only after true connection with an open heart ... then I believe communication can be effective ...

That said, I don't think this 2D venue we have to 'communicate in' will ever be truly effective. We miss too much of the conversation ... the subtle cues, the confused looks when our point isn't understood, the nuance of tone and inflection...

I do believe that is the shortest conversation you have ever had James!

Ok, owl try to e-blabberate.



Mine is dial-up.



Yellow pages.



Lightening storms.



It brings images to my crystal monitor and allows me to see and communicate with humans in remote places via cyber telepathy.

Has it made you a better human?

Hi Artgurl. Good topic.

Yes, I know what you mean.

Although “heart centered connection” is a bit of a slippery term. I see it as being something like “a feeling of closeness” (closeness in the emotional sense).

In my experience, this “feeling of closeness” (I would use the word ‘affinity’) can be built up and enhanced by good communication.

For example, when meeting for the first time, there is very little affinity between two people. But as they communicate, they discover (or possibly create) more and more things that they agree on. This, in turn results in a feeling of being “closer” (more affinity) and allows for deeper communication – and the whole process spirals upward in a sort of positive feedback loop.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the three – communication, agreement, and affinity, all affect each other. If one disagrees with another, the communication suffers and the affinity goes down. If one does not like someone, the communication suffers and there is less common ground. If one does not communicate with someone, there is very little means of increasing either the affinity or the agreement.

Yes, it is possible to just “decide to feel close” to someone, and it is possible to “decide to agree” with someone. But it appears to me that the act of communicating is the easiest way to start the upward spiral.

This is a concept I read about years ago and so far, it seems to be eminently workable.

Are you suggesting that there was a time when I was not a better human?

Interacting with other people in general does not make me what I am. I make myself. I'm entirely homemade.

I have found suggestions and ideas of other people to be quite insightful and useful in productive constructive ways though, if this is what you are trying to get at.

However, I get as much, if not more of my information from books, and video lectures and presentations. At earlier times in my life I have also interacted directly with large numbers of people including very inquisitive and intelligent students.

More recently I've become a hermit of sorts. But I think I probably would have done this even if the Interent did not exist. In fact, sometimes I even think I might be better off shutting off the Internet too. I could still share thoughts with humanity via books. Both reading the thoughts of others as well as writing down my own thoughts.

In think humans have a general need (or at least a strong desire) to share thoughts.

Affection... that is what we are missing. I think, that is what will cure what ails, us all. Its not the connections we lack, its the ability to physically show someone that you are connected with them. We are physical beings... words are words... they can be taken the wrong way, too easily. But how do you mistake a hug as being rude or sarcastic? I think we have all become desensitized by words, especially in written form. Memories are much stronger when your senses become involved. Whether if its the way someone smells or smiles... those images "stick" with us. Words not so much.

I think that's a very good observation Sky. However this would clearly be in effect whether the communication is electronic or in-person. History vividly shows us this, and religion is the perfect example of this. Particularly the religion that arose from the Mediterranean cultures.

Agreement (or disagreement) seems to be the basis of everything. In the Mediterranean cultures there were fables of Gods which became doctrines considered to be the "Word of God". These doctrines split up to become the modern day Bible, Torah, and Quran. The division all had to do with disagreements on which stories were truly divinely inspired and what their interpretations should be.

From there it just went all downhill in the very way that you suggest. It continues to go downhill to this very day. The believers in the Bible for example disagreed and fell into two opposing factions, the Catholics and the Protestors. The Protestors then when on to protest against each other's interpretations of the original fables and created an entire onslaught of disagreeing Protestants.

I don't mean to be picking on religion here, but this truly is the most perfect example in human history that vividly displays precisely what you are decribing.

So clearly humans had difficulting in 'connecting' even long before they invented computers or the Interent. They probably taught their kids to play with guns and be soliders too, just in different ways. Even the ancient game of Chess is a game of war.

Very good points.

I totally agree.

Turn off the news. They tell you all those bad things cause the good things that are happing are not 'ratings' material...

I absolutely agree with that. It seems to be pretty universal, regardless of the medium used for communication.

As I see it, the major difference between online and in-person communication is basically bandwidth. With all five senses fully involved there is a lot more information that can be transmitted between persons, which can mean the difference between good communication and poor communication. (I am reminded of the age old phrase "smile when you say that." That extra but of information - the facial expression - means all the difference between a personal insult and a shared joke.)

This is why I have such an obsession with word definitions. When the only medium one has for communication is the written word, it is crucial that the meanings of those words are agreed upon. Otherwise communication does not occur (regardless of what the appearance is) and the affinity and agreement go out the window.

<end rant>

Excellent advice! If everyone did that, maybe they'd get the message that people don't like being bombarded with stories of disaster, corruption and crime, and start reporting things the make people feel better instead of worse.

Turn off the news. They tell you all those bad things cause the good things that are happing are not 'ratings' material...


If news organization actually reported news in proportion to actual human behvaior and deeds less than 1% of the news would contain violent content. Blink and you'd miss that short report.

Truely, the world is not nearly in as bad a shape as the news makes it seem.

Amen brothuh!