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| Topic: Defining Economic Stimulus | |
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic
Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan . * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to 20 management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1 spending it at yard sales, or 2 going to ball games, or 3 spending it on prostitutes, or 4 beer or 5 tattoos. These are the only American businesses still operating in the US . So I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day! |
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Edited by
Spidercmb
on
Sun 09/27/09 07:25 AM
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan . * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to 20 management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1 spending it at yard sales, or 2 going to ball games, or 3 spending it on prostitutes, or 4 beer or 5 tattoos. These are the only American businesses still operating in the US . So I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day! 
Shouldn't this go in the humor section? And does that tattooed prostitute have a sister? |
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Actually, it's real close to the truth and current.
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan . * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to 20 management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1 spending it at yard sales, or 2 going to ball games, or 3 spending it on prostitutes, or 4 beer or 5 tattoos. These are the only American businesses still operating in the US . So I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day! This is a joke and not a current event. http://www.findusmade.com/ |
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It is oh, so close to the truth.
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan . * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to 20 management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. |
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Edited by
Quietman_2009
on
Sun 09/27/09 08:07 AM
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using taxpayer money to stimulate the economy is sort of like taking buckets of water out of the deep end of the pool and pouring them into the shallow end of the pool
and claiming to raise the water level of the pool by doing it |
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using taxpayer money to stimulate the economy is sort of like taking buckets of water out of the deep end of the pool and pouring them into the shallow end of the pool and claiming to raise the water level of the pool by doing it Great analogy...I'm gonna steal it. |
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Actually, it's real close to the truth and current. qft!
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