How come guys just toy around with emotions? One guy wanted to commit
with me... after a few days thought (and even continuing to talk to him)
I accepted and now he says he has to think about it.

Caddie, I would GUESS that HE might be one of the confused and
LOOKING guys here who are not sure what they want or THEY ARE JUST
PLAYING on here and DON'T REALLY WANT A LIFE PARTNER,,,JUST A BED
PARTNER,,lol SORRY, but life on a single internet site is FULL of
GOOD,,,and ,,BAD.
I can just say that if you learn to SEE their TRUE hearts, then you will
REALLY see THEM!!!
But even "THAT" sometimes is not enough to NOT GET HURT!!!
Lifes a beach girl, and we all want to get wet and lay in the
sun,,,,,but sometimes here the cloud coverage is real THICK!!
And their is NO SPACE LEFT ON THE SANDY BEACH,,,LOL
Good luck on here and FRIENDS will find YOU, if you reply to the posts
and SHARE your heart with US......

who knows?
some people like to play games
after the chase- it is no fun anymore

Well I would gather alot of guys are just affraid of the C word these
days. But I can't really say anything as I have have only been in one
relationship in my life and that was only a year and a half and she
broke up with me.

Well not all guys do that Caddie and if anyone wants to commit after a
few days and you havent had the chance to get to know each. The chances
are it's not going to work and besids that it's moving way to quick for
me.

As far as guys playing with your emotions,It's you that allows it if
that is what you wont. What i'm saying is you control your feelings and
if you fall to fast and to easly, then maybe you should step back and
see why.

Thanks for all of your help. I guess now the ball is in his court. He
probably is reading this now. I guess after my divorce I became more
sensitive to rejection.

I married at an early age to someone thirteen years older than me.
Never really dated - my ex husband was my second boyfriend. I just
don't understand some things sometimes.

Women do it for what may be the same reason men fear, stupidity or a
lack of socail skills. Pick one and you will most likly be
right



Some good news for yea as you look young as you get older men don't play
as many games.

I think we all are in a learning proses when it comes to any
relationship,everone is different so we never know what were going to
find out. Caddie the only thing I could really tell you is be honest
with yourself and how you feel. Your #1 and that is what you got to look
out for.

I agree with shadow

it's just rough. my exhusband cheated on me all throughout our
marriage. It took a while to realize after all the accusations that I
was the one that made him cheat... it was him that did it not me. He is
already going on his next marriage and here I am.

Sorry iRon, I have to disagree. I'm 46 and have been dating men in their
50s. They are no better just because they are older. Just means they are
more set in their ways. A lot of people just grow older, they don't grow
up.

So now I am looking to date guys in their early 40s. If I have to run
the risk of the bs, at least it is going to come from a young stud, lol.

My exhusband was 32 when we were dating I was twenty (only a month into
20 years old...) for some reason I have always dated older guys.
Especially now at 24 when I am talking to guys in their twenties I feel
as if they cannot relate. To some degree age is just a number and what
you need is to feel that click with someone.

You will do fine here,,,Just be YOU,,and Your smiles will
brighten up THIS PLACE

it is hard Caddie
it took me a couple years after my divorce to get it together
and he was the one who cheated also.
but you have to find out how worth it you are and move on and not just
latch on to another relationship just to heal the previous. heal
yourself first so that you can have a healthy
relationship!!!!!!!!!!!

Too many ppl treat emotional connections like stocks-and-bonds, assuming
that "desire=value". So long as they feel they are being "desired"
(meaning that you are willing to be 'committed') then they have
perceived themselves as "higher value".

All in all, its mind games played out by the insecure players.

Tell him the "limited time offer has expired. All terms are open to
negotiation" ha ha.

I believe there are three parts to considering a relationship...the
head, the heart, and the 'gut', instinct...

The head 'sees' attractive attributes, be they physical, intellectual,
or resonatate spiritually within you.

The heart 'hears' the other person's intents, their heart, their
desires, (and I am not talking groin) and the qualities of the other
person.

The 'gut', intuition, is the lightning quick 'feel', for the other
person, their own agenda, in wht this young relationship and attraction
may be about.


And thnthe fun begins...who gets to rule?

Which one becomes 'head of the committee' in the decision making of how
you will enter or not enter into a relationship with another.

There is this incredible separation thing that we do...these 'rules', we
make, for friends, for families, and then for romantic interests...

We have all at times suffered disappoinments in friendships, and with
family memebers, but it appears they are easily forgiven, and yet, when
romance comes into it, all the 'rules' change.

I for one, give my heart, my head, and my instincts, to EVERY
relationship, be they friends, family or lovers, no separate rules for
any.

But only when I have an alignment with all three....head, heart, and
intuition, that gut feel, that instant 'knowing'....


I believe we have to EARN relationships, all of them, and the PRIMARY
relationship for me, is to MYSELF, if I cannot respect, honour and
unconditionally love myself, and accept my strengths, and support them,
and work through my weaknesses, then I am not relationship material for
anyone..freinds, family or others.

I hate games and I hate drama. Thanks for all that replied... I just
needed to vent tonight.

Hi and welcome,

There are a lot of wise women on the site (guys too)who have been
through it. I would recommend becoming friends with some of the ladies
here. They have many insights for you, and lots of experience.

JSH, has some very solid people.

much luck to you,

michael