Topic: NEED HELP! POETRY HELP!
InnerBeauty507's photo
Tue 12/22/09 01:50 AM
Okay, so Im in college, and Im a literature major, trying to get into the creative writing concentration
I have to submit a portfolio with 10 pieces of my work,
and Ive aleady chosen 3
which was really hard mind you, I suck at making decisions in general
let alone life altering decisions lol
so I'm asking for help! I have 10 pieces of poetry, and I need to choose 7.
Some of them are polished, some are almost there. and some have a good concept :)
sooooo
if you find that you have a little spare time
or want to help out an indecisive writer...
please lemme know!
post a comment with your email address
or whichever form of contact your comfortable with
and then I can send you my stuff! Id post it here, but its 10 poems... so im not sure
but yea!
all ages welcomed!
poetry doesnt discriminate on who its meant to influence!
and I would greatly appreciate any help you can give me!
Thanks again, even if you just read this and have no desire or time to help me
thanks for the acknowledgement!
-Christina

no photo
Tue 12/22/09 02:36 AM
You are welcome to send them to me via the Message box on your profile...I sent you a message but it came up I had to be male...hahaha...I didn't fit the criteria for some reason... flowerforyou

InnerBeauty507's photo
Tue 12/22/09 02:42 AM
thank you sooo much! Thats weird, I went and fixed it though! But ill send them to your inbox now!

HuckleberryFinn's photo
Tue 12/22/09 05:55 AM
but I warn you I can be brutally honest.....lol, course if you're a lit major, you'd expect nothing less...but send them, I'd love to read them.

InnerBeauty507's photo
Tue 12/22/09 02:53 PM
thank you Huck
yeah I'm a lit major, and am not completely used too
but am completely okay with getting ripped to shreds.
the painful truth is better than the sweet lies ya know?

HuckleberryFinn's photo
Tue 12/22/09 09:00 PM
I was gentle, you are quite talented and can go as far as you wish to go with your writing. I'll never forget the first time I showed my stuff to a lit. Professor from Penn., gave him a composition book of my favorite poems, he tore two pages out and said keep these and threw the rest of the book in the trash can......was a very crushing blow, but he was honest and what more could you want....Good luck

Totage's photo
Tue 12/22/09 09:06 PM

Okay, so Im in college, and Im a literature major, trying to get into the creative writing concentration
I have to submit a portfolio with 10 pieces of my work,
and Ive aleady chosen 3
which was really hard mind you, I suck at making decisions in general
let alone life altering decisions lol
so I'm asking for help! I have 10 pieces of poetry, and I need to choose 7.
Some of them are polished, some are almost there. and some have a good concept :)
sooooo
if you find that you have a little spare time
or want to help out an indecisive writer...
please lemme know!
post a comment with your email address
or whichever form of contact your comfortable with
and then I can send you my stuff! Id post it here, but its 10 poems... so im not sure
but yea!
all ages welcomed!
poetry doesnt discriminate on who its meant to influence!
and I would greatly appreciate any help you can give me!
Thanks again, even if you just read this and have no desire or time to help me
thanks for the acknowledgement!
-Christina


You can send them to me as well if you'd like.

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 12/22/09 09:18 PM
You can send them to me if you like. Fair warning if you ask for and opinion you have no guarantee it will be what you want to hear.

no photo
Tue 12/22/09 10:25 PM
Yes she is talented alright...I enjoyed all her poems...Awesome..flowerforyou

BonnyMiss's photo
Tue 12/22/09 11:36 PM
I'm not good at critiquing but would love to see your works. If possible, can you share it here with us? flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 12/22/09 11:50 PM
I did tell her to post them all here, and I am sure she is going too...Her poetic mind/soul/heart is wonderful...

BonnyMiss's photo
Wed 12/23/09 12:03 AM

I did tell her to post them all here, and I am sure she is going too...Her poetic mind/soul/heart is wonderful...


Let's hope she does.It is always good to read stuff from new members.

InnerBeauty507's photo
Wed 12/23/09 09:14 AM
okay, Huck youre were super helpful, Merci Friend!
and thank Anjel your a sweetpie!
The rest of you, ask and you shall recieve, Ill post them here on the next post. it will be long though, so bare with me!!!

isaac_dede's photo
Wed 12/23/09 09:16 AM

okay, Huck youre were super helpful, Merci Friend!
and thank Anjel your a sweetpie!
The rest of you, ask and you shall recieve, Ill post them here on the next post. it will be long though, so bare with me!!!

Ok since you are posting them here...I'll just wait patiently :smile:

InnerBeauty507's photo
Wed 12/23/09 09:19 AM
Edited by InnerBeauty507 on Wed 12/23/09 09:33 AM
* so yes, give me your opinions!! comment everyone! comment as many as you can. rip them apart, sing praises. whatever you want! Im a writer, I except and embrace failure :)
and tell me which ones you think I should select, I need 7!!
and Thank You soooo much.
___________________________
A Writer’s Manifesto

Question
Why Write?
Answer
Why Breathe?
Question
Why so Vital?
Answer
It’s my Savior
Question
How is that possible?
Answer
It gives me Freedom
Question
To?
Answer
Live.
_________________________________________
Echoes of Hope

A gentle breeze streaks through the air
Caressing my cheeks
Stroking my hair
whispering to me...
Hope
and then Nothing.
Just as it came, it vanished
leaving me breathless, dazed, and empty.
Solitude encased me again
still
the wind still lingers in my heart.
Echoes of Hope remain
and I can smile once more.

_____________________________________
Love

an Empty Abyss
knows no limit
a gift
a secret
a mystery
it stands alone
with nothing to show
or hide
invisible power
full of life and vivacity
and yet
full of nothing
_______________________________
Trudging Through Life

Cold and Bleak
Trudging through life
No direction
Jostled on all sides
Completely surrounded
By strangers
With empty eyes and blank faces
Do they care?
No
Should they?
No
Hope was in the questions
Reality in the answers
I slept through life in a dream
And I woke up to this nightmare
The truth didn’t set me free
It chained me to this darkness
And I never saw light again
_____________________________________
Fast Forward Pause

heals clicking
Fast and Furious
indifferent to the powerful architecture
so wise and full of grace
the beauty of surroundings
Ignored
blind to the gazing Man
sitting inside himself, eyes to the world
the compassion of acknowledgement
Rejected
one focal point
Time is Pressure
move forward
focus on motion
everything blurred
breathing paused
never looking back
how long can you hold your breath?
the Man’s still sitting in the shadows
with dark eyes
He Knows.
_____________________________________
Remembrance

eyes held tight
lines of life dance across her face
hands etched with wrinkles
prominently marring her innocence
they clutch the memories
of her blissful childhood
strong embraces
sparkling smiles
infectious laughter
frozen in fading polaroid print
Untouched
by pain, deception, and hatred
the stifling truth’s of her reality
memories are her release
yet
the act of remembrance
Chokes
__________________________
The Discourse of Hope

I love the rise
going from dark and brooding…
to beautiful
Reforming
human nature
into world class harmony
Avenged
by a violence
preached whole heartedly
by veterans of new hope
their mantras
hard hitting
from beginning to end
but their sweetness
Fades
the rush stops
I’ve heard it all before
_______________________
Muting Change

Words
filled with hatred
and pain
tainting the progression of change
echoing with noises of
slander and defamation
we crave for Peace
our Hope is a flickering light
in this universe of swallowing darkness
but Terror reign’s our chaos
inducing fear
a sharp gasp of breath
light’s out
and then Nothing
Silence is forced
Silence is inevitable
Silence is…
life passing by
on Mute
no one can hear our hearts beat
Death is the movement
_______________________
Tangible Lust

Hot.
it burns your skin
not unpleasantly
it sends a fire
straight to your core
forcing fingers
to linger
and stay
the scent tingles
no exact-
description or classification
bodies recognize it
A Primitive Level
sweet and sensual
stifling tension
thick in the room
the sounds of pleasure
moans and groans
ragged breaths
gasping
tastes like Sin
delicious and wrong
you just Can’t stop
_____________________
Lily’s Tears

a single Lily
innocent and full of Grace
basking in her garden of dreams
the sunset dims her smile
the moonshine reveals her nightmares
filled with worldly weeds of dangers
reality becomes her roots
One Petal Falls

lover’s frolic
tender and sweet
dancing around her,
Lily
the witness to their passion
but love changes
to Lust
delicate fingers
grip and burn
desire taints her youth
One Petal Falls

bitter whispers
rise with rage
accusations rain around her
the sting of a palm
compassion is silent
lust fades to hate
One Petal Falls

one lonely Lily
bitter and consumed with pain
withering in her discontent
wrenched away from her home
lies broken
drenched in tears
strewn over graying death
Two Spirits Fall

no photo
Wed 12/23/09 05:44 PM