Sometimes the past won’t die until you
Kill it, and even then sometimes it can
Come back. I let my past back in today
Without his knowledge, and as usual
All he did was make me sick. He was
The first to teach me all the things
I wish I didn’t know, and I admit
He taught me well. In my head I call
Him my Teacher, and I think he’d be
Proud if he knew that.

He taught me how to hate and love at
The same time- it’s not as easy as it looks.
He also taught me who not to trust,
And how to lie to those who want to love
Me for me. He was the one who led me
Down that path of youthful destruction,
The only one who let me in. I never allowed
Myself to despise him, I didn’t know what he
Did was bad.

He hasn’t changed, he still wears a cloak
Of blissful ignorance and deceit. I see he
Finally got whatever it is he always wanted,
I had to learn it was never really me. I thought
I loved him all those years ago and in my
Head it made perfect sense; the first to fall,
The last to leave, I know, I had a lot to learn.
A part of me wished him dead all these years,
A part of me wished him well, I was tempted
To reach out to him, but I stopped myself in time.

If I knew then what I know now, it wouldn’t have
Started or ended that way. If I knew now what I knew
Then, everyone would be better off. I let him take a
Part of me and I still can’t get it back. I let him kill
Off what was good and right within myself, and
For that I want to cry. It’s funny how people run
Through your mind, and you never even cross the
Realm of theirs. It’s funny how you can be the world
To someone else and you just can’t bring yourself to care.

It’s been 13 years and it’s overdue, the funeral I need to
Have inside of me. I thought it was laid to rest, but it
Was only hidden, after all this time. I’m out of prayers but these
Words will do, it doesn’t really matter what you say. All that
Matters is to know it’s done and over and the past can never
Hurt you again.

03/14/10

so very poignant

I like that...

Once hurt by LOVE, the love can't be replayed in thought w/o the pain joining in.. This is the case with many who also wish to bury their bad seed of sorrow.....GREAT WRITE!!

Thank you everyone.

That was unbelievable. Thanks for sharing.

Very personal. Great write.
I have to admit I'm fascinated with your perspective.
A lovely mind, you have there, Leigh.

I liked this a lot.

The feeling is mutual, about yours, I mean. Thank you.

Thank you.

i suggest you avoid ALL men who wear cloaks of any kind, but especialy decietfull cloaks, they`re the worst.


another unique write

Thank you, lonetar, I had to learn that the hard way.

This is a WOW piece....

Thank you.

nice piece

Thanks kc and msteddy