With apologies to Lena_Marie who made the original post -- I couldn't
resist making a few alterations.

Disclaimer -- this is all in fun and should not be taken SERIOUSLY,
except for maybe a couple of them....

If I don’t call you
[ It’s because I think you’re really kind of a jerk ]

When I walk away from you mad
[ You better be glad I left my grenades at home, this time ]

When I stare at your mouth
[ It’s because I’m picturing an angry scorpion standing right there
]

When I push you or hit you
[ It’s because enough with the Arby’s already ]

When I start cussing at you
[ It’s because Arby’s didn’t heat the potato cakes enough ]

When I’m quiet
[ I’m planning your funeral ]

When I ignore you
[ It’s because I can’t figure out a way to get anyone else to pay
for your funeral ]

When I pull away
[ It’s because I think your Uncle Norm is better looking, even if he
is 92 ]

When you see me at my worst
[ I resent it and I’ll get you back for that!]

When you see me start crying
[ Buy me some shoes ]

When you see me walking
[ Buy me a car ]

When im scared
[Tell me that guy next door really isn’t a zombie]

When I lay my head on your shoulder
[ I’m testing to see if you’re smarter than a pillow ]

When I grab at your hands
[ Let go of the knife ]

When I tease you
[ You probably don’t understand the subtleties anyway ]

When I don’t answer for a long time
[ It’s because I hate when you ask me math problems ]

When I look at you with doubt
[ Just understand that your credibility is really shaky ]

When I say that I like you
[ It’s an occupational hazard, like “How did you know I needed one
of those?” when you give me the dumbest present ever ]

When I bump into you
[ I’m hoping to push you into traffic]

When I tell you a secret
[ It’s a violation of Homeland Security]

When I look at you in your eyes
[ I wonder if there’s anything behind there]

When I miss you
[ I can always buy more bullets ]

When you break my heart
[ I’ll teach you, you miserable bastard ]

When I say its over
[ The chloroform is working perfectly ]

Lex-
love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh geeze Lex.........roflmao

LOL, Lex.

LOL that's VERY clever

HILARIOUSS

When I grab at your hands
[ Let go of the knife ]


When I miss you
[ I can always buy more bullets ]

lol, thats funny

now that's the girl I knew! LOL!

Lex, that is too funny

OK, I am sorry but that was FUNNY hun! DAMN my sides are hurting.