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| Topic: why are so many solid relationships failing??? | |
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In the last year Two of my freinds married for 10+ years have gotten divorced, and many others are doing the same is this an epidemic? Why are so many solid relationships failing?? Ummm....because they weren't all that " solid ".  Ditto, lack of communication causes a lot of marriages to fail.... |
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. Thank gawd we have options now. That is not being committed that is being imprisoned with someone that has no respect for you....or the vows they spoke......... 
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I believe we're living in a throw away society. We don't like our cell phone, so we convince ourselves it's outdated to justify getting what we want...a new one. It's no different with relationships. We don't like what we have, so instead of working on it to make it better, we throw it away and get a new one.
I'm practicing the only proven method to stave off a divorce....never get married. 
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I believe we're living in a throw away society. We don't like our cell phone, so we convince ourselves it's outdated to justify getting what we want...a new one. It's no different with relationships. We don't like what we have, so instead of working on it to make it better, we throw it away and get a new one. I'm practicing the only proven method to stave off a divorce....never get married. yeah, but like a cell phone,, you cant make it work if its broken and marriages take TWO people working on it, if one isnt willing I totally understand the inclination of the other to leave,,, |
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. Thank gawd we have options now. That is not being committed that is being imprisoned with someone that has no respect for you....or the vows they spoke......... He did build her a house with his own two hands. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Fri 07/02/10 08:13 AM
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why are so many solid relationships failing???
Relationships don't fail. Expectations A relationship is just a relationship. It changes and develops but it does not fail unless there are expectations. A relationship is good if you are learning from it. It is not good when you have stagnated and one person is dominate and controlling over the other. It is not good when you are not growing. It is not good when you are not being true to yourself. Relationships that don't allow each partner to be true to themselves will change for the better... they will split up. That's better. |
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. That may be what you call a "relationship" but its not what I would call a success or a good relationship. Being stuck in a rut with cheating drinking so called partner is not a happy marriage. |
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. That may be what you call a "relationship" but its not what I would call a success or a good relationship. Being stuck in a rut with cheating drinking so called partner is not a happy marriage. Happiness wasn't part of the question. But, how do you know they weren't happy? They stayed together until death. My point was, women were willing to put up with bad men in the past because they didn't have any other options. Today they do and they take advantage of them when things get too bad. Men have always had options. They were free to leave a woman with nothing. Simply throw her in the street if he didn'tlike what she was doing and she'd have nothing. Many of these women had no choice but prostitution to make a living. Things are better today even with the high rate of divorce. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Fri 07/02/10 10:23 AM
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. That may be what you call a "relationship" but its not what I would call a success or a good relationship. Being stuck in a rut with cheating drinking so called partner is not a happy marriage. Happiness wasn't part of the question. But, how do you know they weren't happy? They stayed together until death. My point was, women were willing to put up with bad men in the past because they didn't have any other options. Today they do and they take advantage of them when things get too bad. Men have always had options. They were free to leave a woman with nothing. Simply throw her in the street if he didn'tlike what she was doing and she'd have nothing. Many of these women had no choice but prostitution to make a living. Things are better today even with the high rate of divorce. And you ask me how I know they weren't happy? Trust me, I know ... they weren't happy. A man cheating and drinking.... he's LOOKING for happiness. He's not happy. A woman putting up with it because she has no other choices... NOT HAPPY. This is a no brainer. |
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. That may be what you call a "relationship" but its not what I would call a success or a good relationship. Being stuck in a rut with cheating drinking so called partner is not a happy marriage. Happiness wasn't part of the question. But, how do you know they weren't happy? They stayed together until death. My point was, women were willing to put up with bad men in the past because they didn't have any other options. Today they do and they take advantage of them when things get too bad. Men have always had options. They were free to leave a woman with nothing. Simply throw her in the street if he didn'tlike what she was doing and she'd have nothing. Many of these women had no choice but prostitution to make a living. Things are better today even with the high rate of divorce. And you ask me how I know they weren't happy? Trust me, I know ... they weren't happy. A man cheating and drinking.... he's LOOKING for happiness. He's not happy. A woman putting up with it because she has no other choices... NOT HAPPY. This is a no brainer. You aren't thinking like a person living during the great depression. My grandfather had a job. My grandmother had a home with him and 9 children. No one is happy all the time and we each look for happiness where we can find it. They stayed together. That is what the question was about. People today are more worried about being happy than people were then. People then wer happy just to be surviving. |
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People are less forgiving today and have more options. My grandfather drank often and cheated on his wife. But, she had no place to go with her 9 children. So, she stuck it out and stayed married to him until he died. Few people are that committed today. That may be what you call a "relationship" but its not what I would call a success or a good relationship. Being stuck in a rut with cheating drinking so called partner is not a happy marriage. Happiness wasn't part of the question. But, how do you know they weren't happy? They stayed together until death. My point was, women were willing to put up with bad men in the past because they didn't have any other options. Today they do and they take advantage of them when things get too bad. Men have always had options. They were free to leave a woman with nothing. Simply throw her in the street if he didn'tlike what she was doing and she'd have nothing. Many of these women had no choice but prostitution to make a living. Things are better today even with the high rate of divorce. And you ask me how I know they weren't happy? Trust me, I know ... they weren't happy. A man cheating and drinking.... he's LOOKING for happiness. He's not happy. A woman putting up with it because she has no other choices... NOT HAPPY. This is a no brainer. You aren't thinking like a person living during the great depression. My grandfather had a job. My grandmother had a home with him and 9 children. No one is happy all the time and we each look for happiness where we can find it. They stayed together. That is what the question was about. People today are more worried about being happy than people were then. People then wer happy just to be surviving. Well maybe that's what the question was about and maybe it wasn't. I thought is was about the success or failure of a relationship. If you call staying together "successful" then you have a point. Back then, just survival could be called success. I don't think people are worried about being happy, I think they all want to be happy, even during the great depression. Life is not just all about survival, even back then. People want happiness. So today, we are not forced to stay together for the sake of the children because there is always welfare waiting to step in. So blame welfare for the divorce rate because now women can leave a husband who is bashing her head against the wall and get help from the State. |
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The question was:
"In the last year Two of my freinds married for 10+ years have gotten divorced, and many others are doing the same is this an epidemic?" Years ago having enough food was a luxuary. Many people were starving. If you had a man with a job that supported you and you knew if you left him you'd have no way to get enough food without becoming a hooker you might consider yourself better off and therefore happy. My point is that until the last 30 years or so women didn't have much choice about leaving a man. They'd have had to give up everything including their children. If you were in their situation you might have stayed with a druken, cheating man as well. |
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I believe we're living in a throw away society. We don't like our cell phone, so we convince ourselves it's outdated to justify getting what we want...a new one. It's no different with relationships. We don't like what we have, so instead of working on it to make it better, we throw it away and get a new one. I'm practicing the only proven method to stave off a divorce....never get married. Bravo ! Enjoy your life, without the bickering, and heartach. |
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I was married for about 8 years and I tried to make it work and I wanted it but its hard when its just one sided...but I just think it one of those things like was just said ppl don't try hard enough to make things work...at the site of the first problem ppl think things are broken and want to trade it in for what they think might be better...
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In the last year Two of my freinds married for 10+ years have gotten divorced, and many others are doing the same is this an epidemic? I think it's a sign that society has progressed to the point where people are no longer to forced to stay in a relationship they are unhappy in. |
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The question was: "In the last year Two of my freinds married for 10+ years have gotten divorced, and many others are doing the same is this an epidemic?" Years ago having enough food was a luxuary. Many people were starving. If you had a man with a job that supported you and you knew if you left him you'd have no way to get enough food without becoming a hooker you might consider yourself better off and therefore happy. My point is that until the last 30 years or so women didn't have much choice about leaving a man. They'd have had to give up everything including their children. If you were in their situation you might have stayed with a druken, cheating man as well. Exactly.
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It's my opinion that humans didn't evlove to mate for life. Look at how long most relationships last. About 5 to 7 years or so. That's just long enough to get a child to an age where they can mostly take care of themselves. Not in todays world, but 30,000 years ago. Then mom and dad are free to find another partner to mate with. This mixes up the genes.
The equality we have today is closer to the way things were when we lived in small, tribal groups in Africa. Everyone did their thing and everyone was needed to do their job. Everyone had value to everyone else. |
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