Seriously, all the 'down' threads from the OP .. I am really wishing and hoping Atlantis, that you find TRUE LOVE and it rocks your world so you have no regrets anymore.


Cheers to falling in love for Atlantis

It`s NEVER worth the trouble when two people`s personalities don`t mesh well. And definitely not worth the trouble when one person is doing all the compromising. There`s my 2 cents

The thing is that it usually starts out with something small that you don't want to make a big deal of. So you let it pass. You've invested a piece of yourself in the relationship. Do you run or do you stick around thinking it's just a one time thing? When ppl are not being up front with you, it really sucks when you find out that what they led you to believe about them in the FIRST place is just what they said in order to be with you.

For me, I had 2 serious relationships (one lasted 4 the other 5 years) and 2 lesser relationships (neither lasting more than a year), but all 4 eventually gone to that point I described in the topic.

So now I got this modern "early warning radar" giving me a red alert before things get more serious with anyone so I still have time to back away.

For those who think I might not compromise, that's wrong. The problem was that I was asked to compromise more than it was comfortable. In one instance I had my bags packed and ready to leave the country for someone who said "it would be better to live in Ireland". I was about to get the airplane tickets when I had to sit down and think through what I was doing. Good think I listened to my brain and not her. If that's not a serious sacrifice (giving up everything here) for someone who I love, than I don't know what. Another instance, I gave up my job opportunity which was pretty much set (secret service). I curse the day I have done that, especially now with no chance of getting such a job again.

Where can I get one of those radars?

It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all!! I figure either way you may or may not get hurt, I just live in the moment and enjoy life. I wear my heart on my sleeve and i'm not scared to fall in love. I may get my heart broken..but in the end i believe it was all worth it!! But everyone is different.

You have to ask yourself...is thinking like this:

So now I got this modern "early warning radar" giving me a red alert before things get more serious with anyone so I still have time to back away.

Worth losing the love of your life??

You just never know what can happen if you don't give it a try.
I wish you the best and hope you find the girl of your dreams.

Sherry, my opinion comes from many more years of living than you. It's been my experience that when certain behaviours become apparent, the outcome is pretty predictable. When it happens often enough, yeah, time to cut loose. But, I'm still not so jaded and cynical that I've given up.

I read the whole thing and it kinda makes sense, but it depends how different people are. I for one am single and I actually like being in a relationship. I think being with someone adds another element to how you do things and the word 'compromise' has to be used. I can't expect to get with someone and then make them like all the things I like and vice versa.

I don't think that Atlantis' OP is about lack of compromise or not being willing to. It's more about why don't ppl turn out to be who they say they are in the first place. Once they get firmly entrenched in the relationship, their demands become unreasonable. It's disappointing.

Yes, I have only had a couple of heart breaks and i have had a rough time getting over them. I know a few people who are very skeptical of letting their guard down due to the things they have been through. I wasn't stating that everyone is that way, i hope it didn't sound like that.

I don't think its about demands, I think that when you are alone you live a certain way and when you are with someone, whether you want to or not, some change has to be made. It doesn't have to be in a bad way, but in a very good way. maybe I'm just seeing this differently.

Are you familiar with the literary device referred to as "suspension of disbelief"?

If you can get past the physics and logistical issues caused by the fact that Superman can fly, then this ability no longer is a problem for you when you're reading a Superman story or watching a Superman movie.

That's more or less how I see the "Is it worth the trouble?" question. If I operate with a "suspension of disbelief" insofar as considering that it might be possible there is someone who is actually worth it, then I can justify my continuing to look.

But there's no evidence that such a person exists. It's just "suspension of disbelief." And I've never seen Superman fly, either.

No, not at all. I hope that you never have another heartbreak again and that you end up in a relationship that keeps you happy and fulfilled. Age has a way of making you evaluate situations in a completely different way than when you were younger. Wiser? Stupider? Dunno.

Also when you have children involved, well that's a whole nother ball game when it comes to dating. It makes you really evaluate people. Would i allow them to meet my kids eventually? That is the biggest factor for me.

I see where Atlantis is coming from, I felt this way after my last break-up. Wondering if it was all worth it. And then my Grandma said something to me that i never forgot, coming from a woman who had been married for 55 years and just lost her husband.

What is life if you have no one to share it with?

I don't think it neccesarrily means a partner, it could be a friend or your kids. But when your friend becomes busy or finds someone and your kids grow up, then what? It made me take a step back and tell myself that i don't want to walk this earth alone!! I want someone to share my thoughts and dreams with. Then i decided, what the hell....just maybe it's worth the risk.

If my ex is giving you that much trouble then you might have to get a divorce like I did. I have been wondering where she has been. Just nip it in the bud while you are still sane enough to do so. I wouldn't blame you buddy. Take back your life.

Yes. Asked and answered...

For me... No, it's not.

I'd rather be alone. So I am.

wow..now that's golden right there.

Just as a reminder, I'm writing all this on a dating site and I'm single so obviously I'm seeking someone -

So yes, sometimes I ask myself questions like these:
Why do I go to work? What is the point of it?
Is this all? What was the point going to school up until 2004 (nevermind the fact I made more money by dishwasing without a high school diploma then right now, but that's another topic) and even if I would have a well paying job, why should I have a better car or a nicer house and so on, what am I gonna do with all this?

The sure thing is to share it with someone someone who values and appreciates my way of doing things not coming to change everything to her own liking with absolute disregard of my needs and my way of things.

Point taken. Sounds like you are dating the wrong chicas if every one of your relationships ends up this way though. Right?

And why would you let them anyway. Geesh, no one comes into my world and changes everything up. I don't recall dating anyone who even tried to do that. Yikes.

That's just wrong on sooooooo many levels.

It seems the problem here is that you find women who do not like you the way you are. They are settling and making you suffer for it.

My take on it anyway.

Find someone who really loves you the way you are.

Just my thoughts.