Happiness is lack of suffering.

Success is not having everything you want, i'ts being happy with you have. (needs vs, wants)

A good kiss or a bad one will determine where it goes from there.

"Out of the blue" means that YOU were the one left in the dark wondering -- WTF. He had probably been planning it all along. Sorry you had to experience this kind of cowardice. I've been there too.

Obviously, a sharp lady. Glad to see you caught that.

I don't think he's critizing women as a means of putting them down. His experiences with the opposite sex are exactly that -- HIS experiences. We all see the world through our own eyes. It would be a good thing for all of us to learn tolerance, patience and respect for another's right to an opinion.

Yay for Shasta! My thought is that all this technology has in a way turned ppl away from each other instead of toward each other. Technology is great, but it seems to be taking over our "humanity". But, the thread is not about that. Sooooo, I will say that I agree with your throw away world thing.

Ask Scoundrel. He seems to do just fine with the ladies. Lots of them in his pics. He also has some good advice to give from a man's point of view.

Have you started school yet?

Thunder Bay is a great place, BTW. I come from Southern Ontario and sure do miss the beaches there.

You're very clear about how you want to live your life now and in the future. Sometimes ppl will agree that they are okay with what you want and what they want, but these decisions are usually made during the "glow of being in love". I don't know about you, but I prefer to make decisions logically rather than emotionally. Being in love is great and all, but reality does set in at some point in time.

So true my dear Goof. I still believe we end up divorced because the marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons. There are a lucky few who take the time to discuss, compromise, and discover expectations beforehand, therefore pretty much eliminating potential nasty surprises along the way. Of course, this all goes out the window when one or the other changes the rules unfairly.

No, not keep quiet with your opinions, maybe you've seen some of this as well, through the years and decided it wasn't for you. Maybe you're wiser that you give yourself credit for. May this bouquet walk up the aisle with you one day (if that's what you want). Beware my words and thoughts

My perspective has certainly changed as I've gotten older. Marriage more important than wedding, althought the wedding day is pretty special, but it's just one day.

Several of my couple friends have "fallen in love" over the last short period of time and are planning cohabition and/or marriage. The issue is, although I wish them the best, it seems that as I grow older, I have seen and experienced that even if you love that person, doesn't mean they're the right one for you.

After an initial period goes by -- then the arguments start up over this, that and then eventually -- everything.

This tells me that they didn't take the time to compromise or discuss how they planned to live their lives after reality sets in. BEFORE THE BIG SHINDIG. It's all fine and dandy to have a big ol' wedding party planned, but what about the mundane day to day things that have to be taken care of too after THE BIG DAY. How much time is spent deciding these things? The minutae of daily life does sometimes hit you hard after the wedding planning and party have wound down.

The wedding is better discussed and planned than the marriage. I believe ppl do not openly address most of the reality situations that can come up. Finances, trash, laundry, bills and spending (again the financial thing), social life, cooking, in some case, raising kids, shopping etc., etc.

Then, they're surprised that after a while, it's not quite as romantic and then the fights and arguments start.

All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with marriage -- it's that we end up marrying the wrong person or for the wrong reasons. Which means, eventually it's doomed.

That one's easy Mikey

Well, hello Dolly. Groan.

Your mind alone is a very sexy place!

Hi sou, Although I know you were kidding, I have found there is a lot to be said for learning to be your own best company. I have moments (very few, but they do happen) when I feel the same way Equus does. They pass, and life goes on.

I think this comes from arriving at a place where you're very comfortable with yourself and spending time alone. Doesn't mean you're anti-social, just that you'd rather not put up with other ppl's crap anymore. That's a good thing, don't you think?

Atlantis, I can completely relate to what you're saying. I went through a bad situation almost two years ago. I went from being a hugely social person, to a loooooong period of time in self-imposed isolation. Not complete isolation, but I had changed who I was. Not so much on the inside, but the way I was in the world had gone through a transformation I couldn't explain. I came to realize, in time, that instead of berating myself for this, I just let it be what it was, without forcing any sort of explanation as to why I was choosing to be this way.

The end result is that by allowing everything to happen as it did, I slowly came to be at peace with it all and let it take it's course. I gave myself permission to just go with the flow and not stress about any time lines.

The end result is that I'm now back to the same way I used to be only better than before.

Goof, now I am miffed!