I am actually a member of a number of sites...I have noticed some fatal flaws of many profiles (at least in my own opinion) that I'd like to share with the group. Feel free to to critique my critique.

(disclaimer: I am a dude, so this will be written from a dudes prospective towards the chickee's profile.)

Dudes are for the most part very visual. If you are trying to capture his eye follow these tips.

1) Post a legitimate picture of yourself. Avoid a pic with your friends (especially if you plan to post only one pic of yourself.

2) Posts realistic pics...heavily photoshopped pics, or pics of your chin or some other body part are discouraging and don't make a very good first impression.

3) If you are are a bbw...avoid pics that may contribute towards you being a bbw. Although there is certainly a segment of dudes out there that like bbw's, don't narrow your market of those that are sitting on the fence by glorifying your eating habits.

4) If you are looking for a decent guy then you should present yourself as a descent woman. If your face looks like a rack you might find at a teenage jewelry store or if you have more art than a new york rail road yard...you might want to try a more conservative route. Nothing wrong with that stuff...just keep in mind that your first impression may last a few seconds, then your dream dude is gone forever. Guys want to see your beauty not have to look past all the hardware and artwork. There is a time for that, but trying to make a good first impression is not that time.

5) SMILE or look happy! Guys don't want a chic that is going to depress them.

6) post a variety of pics...a collage of you doing the samething tells a guy that you're boring. show him that you do different things...that you have variety in your life.

7) If you're ugly (or if you think you're ugly), good job for taking a chance, by putting yourself out there. there truly is someone out there for everyone...have faith and don't get discouraged. post a pic of you in your best honest light.

8) If you are hot (or think your all that), trust me...there are plenty of guys out there that are not so shallow and will look the other way no matter what flairs you may pass their way. Try toning it down some and you may just weed out some of those dirt bags that give internet dating a bad rap.


As far as your profile is concerned...less is more! you don't want to have a blank profile, but fortunately or unfortunately, most dudes don't have the patience to read an extensive profile...that's just the way it is. Hit some of your major likes and dislikes, but make sure that you put double your likes 2:1 over your dislikes. Again, guys are not looking for someone that is going to depress them, just as you are not looking for a guy that is going to make you want to slit your wrists.

Try to keep some nuggets for yourself to share later. If you put it all out there, there is nothing to surprise him with. Dudes do like to be surprised as long as it's in a positive way and not the 'I just gave you herpes' kinda way. Be genuine, honest and yourself. If you're a fun loving dork that loves science fiction...then own it...if you're a sex starved, trouble making whore...then I'm sure there is a group of guys for you too, but if you are deceitful, then no one comes out ahead in the end.

Age has become a big topic on all dating sites...most people are deceitful about it...more than half the ladies I have met online were not truthful about their age. All I can say is be honest...if you are 16 posing as a 20 year old or if you are 45 posing as a 32 year old, you are doing yourself and your guy a disservice.

I will leave it there for now...if you have comments, questions, or insults, please do let me know...I have thick skin.

~JB

Good write.

<------43 posing as ... 43



Welcome

Live and let live. If someone has bodyart they will more than likely attract someone with bodyart. Who are you (or anyone else) to tell people what lifestyle they should lead.

People should not please others, and be true to themselves.

If a guy told me to get rid of my piercings and tatts, I’d tell him where to shove his idea.

Pass to the next profile if you don’t like bodyart. There are many who do like freedom of expression.

For the most part, I agree with you other suggestions but you can toss this one.

Like I am going to read all that chit. I agree with Melody. She is a smart one............

I have my moments! Thanks Jeff!

Hmmm, I didn't read this one thoroughly. I disagree here as well.

The reason for online dating is to allow your profile to work for you and weed out the members you are not interested in meeting.

I appreciate a comprehensive profile. I want to know what he has to bring to the table: career, education, etc. If he drones on about his baggage then I'd rather know right away he is drama.

In kind, I list my deal breakers. I don't want to know down the line if he has kids, an arrest record, a hairy chest or a drug addiction.

The value of an edifying, lengthy profile trumps a tedious, droning and convoluted profile.

I am an adult and my attention span can easily be held for a 2 or 3 minute read if a member has something substantial to say. I expect someone to put just as much effort into their profile as I did my profile. I will know whether to pursue or to pass - and that is the point of online dating.

We are talking about an important issue in regards to dating. I’m not letting the Major of Crazytown into my life.

I think you miss the point...that isn't what I'm saying at all.

I am just simply saying that if you are trying to make an impression, shock is usually not the best choice. If you were to tell me, 'the only guy out there for me is a guy that has as much body art and piercings as I do!' I'd say you're not in touch with yourself. You're only living in the moment and not seeing the big picture. Of course there are guys out there that appreciate body art...I am one of them. Then there are those that are accepting of it and of course those that cannot stand it. Why place limits on yourself?

As far as the profile content...well you are speaking from a womans point of view...I was pretty clear that I am posting from a male perspective. I think that it is fairly well established fact that guys don't like long profiles...of course there are exceptions.

If you like guys to have long profiles, then I suggest you write a post on what you would recommend for a guy to write in his profile.

Chicks dig the long profiles.........

I understood your point. Whether you are approaching from a male perspective or not - I don't think it's a good idea to dictate how people post their profiles. You can't speak for all men anyway.

I would never put that much energy into telling people how they should appear on a dating site. It's all subjective and diverse.

In reference to putting "limits" on myself, it's not a matter of limitations - it's a matter of attraction and knowing what I like. I don't want to waste my time nor the time of another member.

Again, I revisit the concept of "live and let live". People can do whatever they want with their profiles.

I for one don't care what anyone thinks of mine. For the guy who passes - good - he's probably not a match for me. For the guy that contacts me in the hopes of a connection - good! Then my profile did the job.

nobody, especially me, is 'telling you' or dictating how 'you' should write your own profile...I really don't care how you write your own profile.

I also realize I don't speak for 'all' men, but as a man who reads and looks at female profiles (literally thousands upon thousands-if not more-through the years), I thought I would write about some consistencies that I personally have noticed. If you don't appreciate me trying to help people improve or adjust their profile so that they can get more responses or possibly find that special guy, that's great! you are certainly entitled to feel that way and I would never take that away from you. You're one of a gazillion women on this site and certainly entitled to your opinion about online dating, just as I am.

I have no idea what your purpose on this site is...whether to find true love, to have a casual relationship...frankly I don't care because that is your business, but I do know that there are some (based on the law of averages) who really don't know what they want or what they are doing, which is fine in itself. My hand is extended to those people if they choose to accept it...apparently you don't fit in that category.

It goes without saying...but I'll say it anyways...this is the 'rate my profile' section.

You have been on here for 2 years and now you post all that. I have to think something is up with that. Just my 2 cents......

It's tough to conjure an epiphany...
OP makes some valid points and gets my vote for a thoughtful topic with subsequent explanations for better clarification

haha...not really...i have been on this site since...uhhh...about april 2007. I have opened and closed several profiles. I am not too serious about dating because I simply don't have that much time. I wish I did...I would really like to find a great lady!

wow!!!!!! u are darned cute! lol! and yea im blunt!

you too! lol cut your hair though lol! too many men might like ya! roflmao!!!!!

Child Please............

This kind of pissed me off a little bit just because i am a BBW does NOT mean i have any "eating habits" I am big because of a medical condition. Not because i like to "eat too much" you should never tell someone to post a picture of them hiding who they are or to please a certain group of people. If they don;t like you for you then they aren't worth your time anyways. Thanks for the advice but i'll stick to what i already know and what has worked for me.