Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
coz he had a square arse... ha ha ha ha ha

i know I did this before but...


jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

stupid jill forgot the pill and now they have a daughter!

u were the inspiration for this thread... lol.. i figured everyone grew up with swisted nursery rhymes... so far.. just me and you... ha ha ha

All the ones I know are dirty and I can't post 'em here. If you've seen Andrew Dice Clay on stage, then you've heard them too.

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack played with his candlestick

lil jack horner sat in the corner playing with grandmas slot put in his pinky pulled out a stinky and said dammmmnn its begaining to rot

jack be nimble jack be quick jack burned his azzzzz on a candle stick

mary had a little lamb tied him to the heater
every time he turned aroung he burnt his lil peter

"Ring around the Rosy
Pocket full of Posy
Ashes, Ashes,
We all Fall Down"


You probably have a vision of children holding hands in a circle, rotating slowly while singing the song, then collapsing in a giggling heap at its conclusion.

Just another innocent and meaningless rhyme? It depends on your definition of innocence, for this song was born during a time so terrible it constituted a loss of innocence for the whole of Europe.

It is quite old... in fact it is more than five centuries old. But even though it is ancient, the origin of this song can be pinpointed very precisely within a 3 year period: 1347 - 1350.

Between these three years, fully one third of Europe's population is estimated to have perished in what was called "The Black Plague"

There once was a man from Kent
His Johnson was so long that it bent
To keep out of trouble
He put it in double
Instead of coming he went.

ha ha ha.. thats great.. i love it...

Oooops!I'm sowwwy!I didn't mean to ick up your thread sweetie.I misunderstood the title of your thread.I thought you were referring to the sinister origins of them when you said"a little bit off"
{{{sweet pea}}}

shoot.. no problem.. i found ur information very interesting.. and beleive me.. there is never any rhyme or reason to my threads.. just like to get ppl goin on something or other..

there once was a man from Nantucket,

his schlong was so long he could suck it,

as he wiped off his chin,

he said with a grin,

If my __________ were my ________ I could ___________ it.

I hope the mods don't hang me for this one!

BTW, If you had sex with your clone is it masturbation????






I just had to ask!









Really I think it would be about as narcissistic and homoerotic as it could freaking get!


YUKERS!!!!!


Unless it was two hot women. It would still be homoerotic but I would be picturing myself in the middle of that sandwich. OH I am such nasty meat! SHAME ON ME AGAIN!


OH and to get back on subject,


Mary Mary quite Contrary (Queen Mary of England, the one accused of being a Lesbian)

How does your garden grow?

With Silver belles (Virgins, but oddly there is consensus among others who are scholars in English literature was a reference to young gay men of the court, the upcoming nobility.)

and cockle shells (Other "Known" women)

All in a row. (The English Court)

This little nursery rhyme reference to the rampant homosexuality in the English Court of the day when this was created.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16576_the-disturbing-origins-5-common-nursery-rhymes_p1.html

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky

Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were amazed
Everywhere that Mary went
The lambs would also graze.

Hickory dickory dock
This isn't about a clock
When the stroke hit twelve
He felt real swell
But now he's in need of new socks....

Ohhhhhhh HELL noooooooooooo