I need some help clearing out this issue of mine that i have been experiencing when it comes to matters of the heart. The problem is this....i am 49 and still single. Please do not misunderstand me here ..there is nothing wrong with being single but i have yet to feel loved in my whole 49 yrs and that is a tragedy. Is it not the most basic human need? everyone wants it but who is the expert with all the advise....i am down to earth and not wanted anything more but unconditional love ...i have found that most men run when they find this out....why?

They're wimps?

You've been in relationships no?

yes we are...wimps that is

well yes of course ....but no mutal loves

do you run the other way mofw?

I asked and said THIS SAME here about two years ago,,been
divorced twice,,but with BOTH,,my first we had to get marries,,my second,,played around all through the marriege,,so I TO,,never felt really LOVED....
SO,,NOW,,let me tell ya something,,I've been on HERE for over four years and met many, dated some,and fell for two,,YET,,,
NONE HELD TO BE A REAL LOVE from them,,,,so HERE I AM STILL LOOKING
STILL not knowing and waiting for that one to jump up and snack me in the face and TRULY be,,all about ME,,,,so,,I have no-GOOD ANSWER for you or a quick FIX for finding THAT ANSWER...
But I can say,,,,YOUR NOT ALONE,,,,
Good Luck on finding THAT,,and YOURS,,and welcome to the Site..

You mean they loved you but you didn't feel the same or you loved them but they didn't feel the same?

I'm trying to understand what you meant rather than assuming...

I can not tell a lie....so I'll just keep quiet here

Yes, i want to love but to have it squashed in your face when it is not returned is so very hurtful ....and of course i keep trying with an open heart but i just don't feel like i am meant to be partnered and that is the ultimate feeling of pain

thank you ...for the welcome ...just joined and so far i really like this part of the site ....feedback is so very important

Be patient... I know life seems to work that way parallel opposites most of the time... To be loved and to have loved are achievements within themselves.. There are a lot of people that have experienced the same thing.. Don't give up, it will happen and when it does it will be right... I know that doesn't answer anything nor fix it but that's the thing about life, there are no fixes or answers that any one person can give us for our situations.. We just have to trust that life flows as it's meant to and although we can change the direction we need to be willing to accept that things will work the way they should when the time is right for it to happen... Gawd I feel like a cache of cliches...

there is a partner out there for everyone we just have to hang on are time will come

but I'm running out of time

..i am 50 and have never married..not a wimp..just smart...real smart..

Just to clarify, the "wimp" came from the men that run when they find out she's never been in mutual love... I'm sure you guys don't do that.. To do that would be a sign of ignorance not intelligence...

Now running from red flags is a personal preference which we all have.. Bad timing in love and being loved doesn't seem to be a red flag in my opinion...

I would ask the OP when she is sharing her feelings with the men she's partnered with? Sharing feelings of love too soon can make a man feel cornered. That's the only thing different than what Indnprncs has already said that I can think of at the moment.

It's a risk as we can alos lose people by failing to tell them that we love them. Maybe, next time you get a chance, let "him" use the "L" word first....just a thought

Hmmmm well at 42, I have been married twice, played up on twice, had a few steady boyfriends, but have only really felt loved unconditionally lately.. Not because all my other men where drongos, but just because they where so busy loving themselves and others that they didnt really bother with me... Now I dont actually think that this is their fault as I knew when I went out with them that they where bad boys, So it was really my stupidity that put me in that spot..

I came on here to make friends and to meet people. I started talking to a man who I would not have looked at for any reason as a date, as he looked like he liked himself. Yep that was me being judgemental but he had to many muscles , they where good to look at but hey, I only wanted to look. But after talking to him for a while, I saw that there was actually a huge heart in there as well as bigt muscles. ( who would have thought you could have both.}


Anyway this time i have a man who looks past the outside and looks for what I am really made of. He laughs at my mistakes, the chaos I create in his home and life, If I make a mess he is there to help me sort it out. If my children need to talk he listens and helps. If I am confused he unconfuses me. If I am tired he holds me while i sleep. If I hurt he is there,
He is my rock , the one who seems to be holding me steady. He would intentionally never hurt me in anyway,
He makes me feel like I am everything in his world..

I trust him completely with all of me and will never doubt him. Because he is wonderful

So I guess I would just say hang in there, make as many friends as possible and just wait as when the one comes along who makes you feel like he is part of you, it is sooooooooo worth the wait. And the friends you make along the way are such a great bonus, I have met some great people on here.

I know I am the youngest one posting here and probably a little Naive still but even the bad things that have happened to me in past relationships I will never give up on love and the opposite sex, noone out there is destined to be alone so don't give in to that theory that you are. Love is a precious thing even if you only get it for a little while it is worth it.

So don't lose faith no matter how old you are there are plenty of guys who want to love you you just may have not realized it or have met them yet