Topic: If you don't have something nice to say...
Tessa02's photo
Fri 04/29/11 10:21 AM
keep your mouth shut!! At least that's what I've always been taught! But, if a person ask your opinion whether in person or on line. Does that old adage still apply? Just curious on opinions.pitchfork :angel:

soufiehere's photo
Fri 04/29/11 10:35 AM
I still believe it :-)
But, if they are hurting someone,
I will pipe up.

EasternSquirrel's photo
Fri 04/29/11 10:55 AM
People "get away" with saying just about anything on the internet.
Often, they won't pull any punches and take the risk that whoever they're being obnoxious with isn't living in the same neigborhood.

There are tactful ways of saying things without being rude, crude, obnoxious or socially unacceptable.

But there are times when tact just isn't enough.

Keep my mouth shut? Depends on the situation.

no photo
Fri 04/29/11 10:57 AM
Well, the opposite of nice is nasty, and nobody in general likes a nasty person, however,switch that ,also there can be people who are too nice,define your question ,there are lots of very different situations and by that lots of very different people, "if in doubt,say nowt" (like the rhyme?)

no photo
Fri 04/29/11 10:57 AM
Well, the opposite of nice is nasty, and nobody in general likes a nasty person, however,switch that ,also there can be people who are too nice,define your question ,there are lots of very different situations and by that lots of very different people, "if in doubt,say nowt" (like the rhyme?)

msharmony's photo
Fri 04/29/11 11:13 AM

keep your mouth shut!! At least that's what I've always been taught! But, if a person ask your opinion whether in person or on line. Does that old adage still apply? Just curious on opinions.pitchfork :angel:



this is a pet peeve of mine, I Think there is ALWAYS A way to temper honesty with compassion, and that being rude is simply being rude and shouldnt be giving the luxury of hiding behind the concept of 'honesty'


I believe that..
generally, if you have nothing nice to say, zip it and if you are ASKED, constructive criticism(that which actually makes helpful SUGGESTIONS) is always more mature than outright insult (that which does nothing but destroy/discourage)

msharmony's photo
Fri 04/29/11 11:13 AM

keep your mouth shut!! At least that's what I've always been taught! But, if a person ask your opinion whether in person or on line. Does that old adage still apply? Just curious on opinions.pitchfork :angel:



this is a pet peeve of mine, I Think there is ALWAYS A way to temper honesty with compassion, and that being rude is simply being rude and shouldnt be giving the luxury of hiding behind the concept of 'honesty'


I believe that..
generally, if you have nothing nice to say, zip it and if you are ASKED, constructive criticism(that which actually makes helpful SUGGESTIONS) is always more mature than outright insult (that which does nothing but destroy/discourage)

Tessa02's photo
Fri 04/29/11 11:25 AM

Well, the opposite of nice is nasty, and nobody in general likes a nasty person, however,switch that ,also there can be people who are too nice,define your question ,there are lots of very different situations and by that lots of very different people, "if in doubt,say nowt" (like the rhyme?)


Once a friend was fixing her hair for a date & asked several of her girlfriends how her hair looked. Her being able to take criticism in a joking way I told her "she looked like hell". We redid her hair & got it looking nice for her date which he complimented on. From then on she always valued my opinion. The other girls were afraid to tell her what it really looked like & admitted their opinions later. Now, what really poses this question is rating profiles. Occassionally I'll come across some pics that looks really cheesy (at least for a dating site , maybe a booty site tho) but I bite my tongue on saying so & avoid the whole thing. I'm sure some wonder why I view a profile & don't comment when they've recently asked to be rated. I so want to say what I really think & realize some things are best left unsaid!!

no photo
Fri 04/29/11 11:30 AM
Edited by singmesweet on Fri 04/29/11 11:30 AM

keep your mouth shut!! At least that's what I've always been taught! But, if a person ask your opinion whether in person or on line. Does that old adage still apply? Just curious on opinions.pitchfork :angel:


If you ask someone's opinion, be prepared for what they have to say, as they may or may not agree with you.

That being said, most things can be said in a polite way, even if it's not what the other person wants to hear.

no photo
Fri 04/29/11 12:32 PM


Well, the opposite of nice is nasty, and nobody in general likes a nasty person, however,switch that ,also there can be people who are too nice,define your question ,there are lots of very different situations and by that lots of very different people, "if in doubt,say nowt" (like the rhyme?)


Once a friend was fixing her hair for a date & asked several of her girlfriends how her hair looked. Her being able to take criticism in a joking way I told her "she looked like hell". We redid her hair & got it looking nice for her date which he complimented on. From then on she always valued my opinion. The other girls were afraid to tell her what it really looked like & admitted their opinions later. Now, what really poses this question is rating profiles. Occassionally I'll come across some pics that looks really cheesy (at least for a dating site , maybe a booty site tho) but I bite my tongue on saying so & avoid the whole thing. I'm sure some wonder why I view a profile & don't comment when they've recently asked to be rated. I so want to say what I really think & realize some things are best left unsaid!!

bastet126's photo
Fri 04/29/11 12:35 PM
i'm a sugar coater, but have had moments when i realize it's not in the persons best interest to give it to them sweet. but, i agree, there's a nice way to pass on even the bitter.

Ladylid2012's photo
Fri 04/29/11 12:36 PM
The world would be a better place if everyone just minded their own damn business....just because you have an opinion doesn't mean anyone really gives a flying f u C K n wants to hear it.
It's really only important to you anyway. I don't ask others opinions for the most part, because for the most part I don't care what ya think, especially about me and my life. flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 04/29/11 12:39 PM
I think if someone is asking for a rating, or something on here,well they can't be offended if some criticism stings a bit, they might learn something or improve their self knowing what others genuinely feel, it could actually be helpful, in general though if you're not one for controversy, i ain't that much, silence is golden ,

willing2's photo
Fri 04/29/11 12:39 PM
An unsolicited opinion will get a big ole," If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it out of ya!"

Or a," If I wanted your opinion, I'd have told you what it is."glasses laugh laugh

fobroth's photo
Fri 04/29/11 12:43 PM

keep your mouth shut!! At least that's what I've always been taught! But, if a person ask your opinion whether in person or on line. Does that old adage still apply? Just curious on opinions.pitchfork :angel:


A good gauge could be "would I want to hear what I'm about to say?" At least that would make you accountable to yourself. And coupled with a conscience (I don't want to hurt anybody) it's a good check.

Online is a tough one.

...in a joking way I told her "she looked like hell".

That could be a rough one to pull off, even with a smiley at the end. It's quite likely we'd never met the online buddy, so aren't aware of how sensitive they might be, they aren't aware of our being a smart-aff and how likely are they to mis-understand the playfulness behind it.

BTW, that sounds, so much, like something I'd say. Are you a smart-aff, too? bigsmile

Tessa02's photo
Fri 04/29/11 02:29 PM


keep your mouth shut!! At least that's what I've always been taught! But, if a person ask your opinion whether in person or on line. Does that old adage still apply? Just curious on opinions.pitchfork :angel:


A good gauge could be "would I want to hear what I'm about to say?" At least that would make you accountable to yourself. And coupled with a conscience (I don't want to hurt anybody) it's a good check.

Online is a tough one.

...in a joking way I told her "she looked like hell".

That could be a rough one to pull off, even with a smiley at the end. It's quite likely we'd never met the online buddy, so aren't aware of how sensitive they might be, they aren't aware of our being a smart-aff and how likely are they to mis-understand the playfulness behind it.

BTW, that sounds, so much, like something I'd say. Are you a smart-aff, too? bigsmile



Yeah, in RL if I really know someone I'm a natural smart-aff!! bigsmile

josie68's photo
Fri 04/29/11 02:34 PM
I dont think that you have to not be nice in pretty much anything you say,
Nut if someone asks for an opinion I will give it, it will be honest, but not hurtful ( I hope)..But I have heaps of opinions so normally you are better off not asking me for one, as I just may not shut up
At least5 on here you can stop reading.

Jess642's photo
Fri 04/29/11 03:13 PM
Hmmm....I am not 'nice'....I see 'nice' as the edited, socially acceptable version of whatever truths you hold...the watered down version...the lets hold hands and sing Kumbaya together version...

I am not 'nice'...

I am real.

I expect people to share their truths with me...as I do them.

Unedited, unsoftened...

I can respect the person behind the words, for showing me enough respect to be their truthful honest self.


krupa's photo
Fri 04/29/11 05:01 PM
There are times for tact and diplomacy...

There are times for brutal honesty.

Let's face it...in our society, we are expected to be nice and sugar coat things so as to not upset people. I personally ain't one to coddle people...everyone else does it...and that does not change behaviors or attitudes...it only rationalizes and takes away guilty feelings for bad behavior. That is crap as far as I am concerned...if someone wants Mamma to cuddle them and say "That's ok Sweety"...they need to hang out with thier Mamma.

Idiots..didn't make poor descisions....they are idiots.

Abusers...blame thier up bringing...and fail to acknowledge that as adults, they conciously chose to continue the abuse.

Victims...(people who stay with the abusers)..chose to stay with the people who treat them like crap...they have options yet sleep in the same bed with the people who treat them like s**t.

Cheaters blame every other aspect of thier own relationship to justify the fact that they don't care who they hurt as long as they feel good "right now"

Apathetic slobs who want you to tell them they are hot but put zero effort into thier grooming or health...are lazy and unattractive.

Sometime you gotta call a spade a spade....put your foot on thier throat and let them know that you don't put up with that crap then kick them the hell out of your life.

I cut kids a break (under 19)..past that.. as adults...they are very much aware of thier own actions/inactions and ain't gonna get any babying from me. I don't believe in free rides.