My last relationship ended with her telling me it was too hard for her. The problem she felt was that I didn't get along with her kids. Which was mostly true. I tried to avoid the kids.
To say the kids were spoiled is an understatement. But her ex-husband talking bad about me to the kids didn't help --- I think it caused the whole problem. The boys were young and impressionable.
I thought there wouldn't be a problem because hey, in 5 or 6 more years, the kids would be grown and only have to see them on holidays :D

Huh? That's not a real cool way to go about it man. When you get into a relationship with a person who has kids. You almost have to love the kids. If not, it won't work. Sorry bud.

It's a package deal... mom,kids... kids mom.

Exactly. It's the mom and kids. Take them both, or don't take them at all.

I agree...Women with kids come as a package and you can't seperate them and wait for the day they will leave...Either you love the kids or you don't...By staying in this kind of relationship...Think of what it does to the mother....Places her in position of dividing her loyalties and having to choose...Most mothers BUT not all will choose their children!!!!!!!

absolutely, i couldn't be with a guy that didn't like my kids.

Those women that don't choose their kids first should be ashamed of themselves.

When growing up, my parents put me first before themselves, and that's what I intend to do when I have kids someday.

Thanks for the input.

I might add, I did try to get along with the kids. But I feel, the father telling their kids I was a loser and their mom was a slut for being with me, etc. etc. Really kept them from allowing us to get along.
My point was, as the kids got older maybe they would come to realize what they heard from their father wasn't true.

Well, you just have to prove it to the kids that what their father was saying wasn't true.

Sounds like the father was jealous anyhow.

But what you said in your first post....you know.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I have a feeling you're not too crazy about kids

Try to come between a mom & her kids, your wrong.
Guys need to set a good exampe to the ladies kids.

I dumped his azz, he didn't dump me. He is an alcoholic, I was with him for 6 yrs. I got tired of the verbal abuse and watching him waste his life in a bottle. I enabled him for 6 yrs. too long! I shared custody of my kids with my ex. This 6 yr. guy got along ok with one of my boys but was constantly butting heads with the other. My daughters are both married and on their own, so they didn't have many encounters with him. July 17th will be my 1 yr. anniversary since I moved out. FEELS SO GOOD NOT HAVING TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS ANY LONGER!

ok, I'm feeling a little defensive here. But, I can see your point. Maybe thats why it was so hard for her. I just wish we could've held out until the kids matured and could make their own opinon. Thinking of her still makes my heart ache.

I don't have a problem with kids. I teach a youth fencing class. The kids love me or maybe its they just like fencing ;)

So maybe the lesson I should learn is - win the kids over first?

Not so much win the kids over, perse. You will win the kids over if they love you. You have to work at it.

maybe u didnt date her long enough first? to realize all this was gonna happen? cause it is a package deal...

ps cute dog

having a relationship with children involve is hard
i have three teens- one recently moved in with his father
2 hours away
when i tell guys i have three kids they seem to shy away
i understand because although he would be dating me and not my children-- sometimes you run into difficult times

I agree respectfully parents to your comments but please also your liability to teach ur children discipline for the very early ages as these schools are helpless to do so, but again this early training starts from the home'CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME'
as far a guy/girl are not ready to accept them thier own, go and open a new door, where kids r welcome whole-heartdly.
It is a long tedious topic to cover up in a few lines but very important for a relationship.

Two years with her. And it was like we were married. She had custody two days a week and every other weekend.

And ya starting to sound like it was doomed from the start.

to make light of situation...
Hey there lil' johnny, Is your mommy divorced?
Want some candy?

Humm it is a packaged deal if a man and my kids do not get along even if they don't live at home it will never work. My kids have been my whole world and will continue to be you don't know how long a partner will stay. Besides if they don't get along seems someone is not trying to break the ice and the kids are seeing something we don't. One should never chose a relationship over there own kids. For if they do it don't say much for the person within. At least that is my opinion.