Topic: 'Hi' as a converstation starter
fobroth's photo
Sun 06/19/11 12:16 AM
I need a lesson in dating site etiquette.
I recently had someone view my profile and message me. (and I was as surprised as you are!) The only thing she said was 'Hi'. Am I being a crumb by not saying Hi back? I do feel a little guilty by ignoring her. But I also feel like, if she really wanted to make friends with people, she'd muster up a little more than a 'Hi'. I'm a guy, true, but I'm one of those odd few that enjoys a meaningful conversation.

74Drew's photo
Sun 06/19/11 02:07 AM
Edited by 74Drew on Sun 06/19/11 02:08 AM
dude, it's all in what you're comfortable with.

i sent a girl a message with just a "hi" on another site. she responded back with a "hey" and we've gone from there. sometimes hi is enough. sometime's it's not.
90% of the time i message people back. some of the women on here have expressed that they've had men get upset when they tell the men that they're not interested. so, instead of risking it they just ignore the guys that message them if they don't find the guy appealing. personally i find that to be rude. i've never once had a woman respond back when i say i'm not interested.
even if a woman were to respond back and be upset, that's her problem not mine. if she gets all bent out of shape over something like that i really don't want to know her.

i guess the question is, is she appealing enough that you'd like her to put forth a little effort? if so, you could send her a message saying that her first attempt at conversation was a little lacking and that you're willing to offer her a second chance at it.


. . .

kre8karma's photo
Sun 06/19/11 08:16 AM


i guess the question is, is she appealing enough that you'd like her to put forth a little effort? if so, you could send her a message saying that her first attempt at conversation was a little lacking and that you're willing to offer her a second chance at it.


. . .
Ok. I LOVED 74Drew's response except for that last little bit. I would suggest rather than critiquing her first attempt, which might make her feel defensive, if she is appealing, bait the hook by setting a good example. Send her a response asking her to tell you more about herself (who doesn't love that) or asking a specific question about something you see in her profile. Even tell her a bit more about yourself than your profile states. Give her something to work with and see what happens then (?)Like he said, sometimes it IS enough. Not that I am an expert, I 've just had the same experience as you and wondered what to do myself. I don't know, unless I was smokin' hot like those Russian babes in the ads on this site, I would not want to take the chance of not being appealing enough to get a reply. I would not want to make my first impression on another be that I don't care enough about the outcome to risk crafting an entire sentence. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

fireflysgirl's photo
Sun 06/19/11 09:00 AM

I need a lesson in dating site etiquette.
I recently had someone view my profile and message me. (and I was as surprised as you are!) The only thing she said was 'Hi'. Am I being a crumb by not saying Hi back? I do feel a little guilty by ignoring her. But I also feel like, if she really wanted to make friends with people, she'd muster up a little more than a 'Hi'. I'm a guy, true, but I'm one of those odd few that enjoys a meaningful conversation.


Don't feel bad...if hi is all they write then they are likely not great at holding a conversation! I don't answer the hey there, hi sexy, hello beautiful, or less appealing like "are you freaky" messages & do not feel bad at all about it!

no photo
Sun 06/19/11 09:04 AM
Just hi makes me week in the knees indeed. bigsmile

Teditis's photo
Sun 06/19/11 09:05 AM
Hi...

EquusDancer's photo
Sun 06/19/11 10:35 AM
Howdy! bigsmile

WordWalker's photo
Sun 06/19/11 10:46 AM
Hey

Mayhem_J's photo
Sun 06/19/11 10:49 AM

Hi...


Ha...you beat me to it.

WordWalker's photo
Sun 06/19/11 12:15 PM
She could just be extremely shy. I have a lady friend that way. But I like a good conversation. That's why we will never be anything but friends.

no photo
Sun 06/19/11 05:33 PM

I need a lesson in dating site etiquette.
I recently had someone view my profile and message me. (and I was as surprised as you are!) The only thing she said was 'Hi'. Am I being a crumb by not saying Hi back? I do feel a little guilty by ignoring her. But I also feel like, if she really wanted to make friends with people, she'd muster up a little more than a 'Hi'. I'm a guy, true, but I'm one of those odd few that enjoys a meaningful conversation.


that bitsh, the nerve of her breaking your no contact for X days streak. send her a nasty message using several curse words. or if you really aren't interested just ignore the message (it seems that a lot of people on this site think ignoring a message is ok if you are not interested in the sender)

no photo
Sun 06/19/11 07:18 PM
If someone writes to me and just says hi, I will respond in the same way. That gives them a chance to start a conversation in the next email. If they're unable to do so, I leave it at that.

WordWalker's photo
Sun 06/19/11 08:11 PM
As soon as I get someone to message me I'll let you know my response. laugh

Teditis's photo
Mon 06/20/11 11:50 AM
Hey 3 people outta 7 billion responded... what a lovely beginning.

whatnamethen's photo
Sat 06/25/11 03:03 AM

Hey 3 people outta 7 billion responded... what a lovely beginning.


I definatly? need a lesson in dating etiquette! and spelling too.
happy

soufiehere's photo
Sat 06/25/11 05:54 AM

I need a lesson in dating site etiquette.
I recently had someone view my profile and message me. (and I was as surprised as you are!) The only thing she said was 'Hi'. Am I being a crumb by not saying Hi back? I do feel a little guilty by ignoring her. But I also feel like, if she really wanted to make friends with people, she'd muster up a little more than a 'Hi'. I'm a guy, true, but I'm one of those odd few that enjoys a meaningful conversation.

Being so highly critical, before
even meeting, wow.
The only advice I can think of
is to continue what you are doing.
They get off easy, that way.

Teditis's photo
Sat 06/25/11 02:51 PM
Edited by Teditis on Sat 06/25/11 02:55 PM
Aye, I agree... assume the worst and nuke all the bazturds... it's much more fun in computer games anyway.
(and since cyber-peeps are on the computer... they're not real, right?)