The root of my lack of confidence is usually the abuse I'd had when I was a child. I basically was told I'd do nothing with my life, and people seem to go, "See? You aren't." After you've heard nothing aside from that, you start to believe it. I mean, yeah, it's lame, and it sucks, but I'm working on building my self confidence in other ways besides the usual ways.

I'm alright with people who aren't super confident, no idea why but people who are, really rub me the wrong way, not entirely sure why. But I'm one of those people who isn't going to sugar coat the truth, and people don't like that and say that I'm hurting their self confidence, though for the most part it has little to nothing to do with the situation, it honestly depends.

As I've matured over the years, I've stopped putting up with a lot I used to, which I suppose, shows more confidence then I had before. I refuse to put up with it, I don't need it in my life. That and I have much more important things to do with my time then worry about some idiot dissing me or whatever. :P

You are a strong woman, we need more independent people like u...keep it up!!

Haha, thank you. Simply the fact that I will not allow myself to be physically abused anymore is certainly a step in the correct direction.

As of late most of my "close" friends have been drinking. I use the term 'close' loosely, obviously. (Ahahaha pun). I've been asked many a time, "Why don't you drink?" And it's simply a matter of personal preference. That and as well as the fact that I have not done recreational drugs in a very long time (nothing against them) is also showing that I am unwilling to bend my own desires in order to please others.

The thing is, is that in my town where I grew up, there's this thing, basically a lot of younger girls getting pregnant. Usually because of the lack of use of birth control. The thing I'm getting at in this situation, is that usually it was because of peer pressure. The younger guys telling them it doesn't feel as great. One of the first steps in building myself up was actually starting birth control, because many had told me, "Oh it won't happen to you." I didn't listen and took my own path, as I do want children in the future, but as of right now, no.

Another few things which have built me up higher then before are simple things, I bake, and I cook. I don't alter my physical appearance, as usually some have the thought then they only look good with make up... Blah blah. ANYWAYS. It's such a shame that so little know how to make a decent meal, because it's really a great confidence builder! Just knowing you could make a nice meal.

That and jewelry making for me, I love it and people seem to like my work.

I like living in misery, suits my better nature

I don't think having a lack of self confidence necessarily means you have a "woe is me" attitude.
I just think something along the way made you insecure about some things.
Also I think you can think you have low self esteem but really don,t.

I guess that is true for why some people use a site like this. I just use it as entertainment. Certainly not the only way to meet people, though.

I've noticed lately that a lot of people around here seem to lack confidence and have low self esteem. There's a lot of "woe is me I don't have a life" kind of stuff going on. Why? I don't get why people are just sitting around, complaining that they don't have a life, or don't like their life. Why not change it?

I don't know about others, but this is a huge turn off for me.

Well, to be real, the majority of us on Mingle have gone through some pretty traumatic relationships...and we ALL have our own self esteem issues at one time or another..Some people just either dont knnow HOW to break themselves out of it, or they dont WANt to. The trick is to not let it get to you. Confidence is hard for some people to maintain, especially after several failed relationships. Ive been there myself, so I understand...but its important to love yourself before attempting to find love from someone else.

Well, to be real, the majority of us on Mingle have gone through some pretty traumatic relationships...and we ALL have our own self esteem issues at one time or another..Some people just either dont knnow HOW to break themselves out of it, or they dont WANt to. The trick is to not let it get to you. Confidence is hard for some people to maintain, especially after several failed relationships. Ive been there myself, so I understand...but its important to love yourself before attempting to find love from someone else.

I've noticed lately that a lot of people around here seem to lack confidence and have low self esteem. There's a lot of "woe is me I don't have a life" kind of stuff going on. Why? I don't get why people are just sitting around, complaining that they don't have a life, or don't like their life. Why not change it? OK , HOW?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I don't know about others, but this is a huge turn off for me.

I've noticed lately that a lot of people around here seem to lack confidence and have low self esteem. There's a lot of "woe is me I don't have a life" kind of stuff going on. Why? I don't get why people are just sitting around, complaining that they don't have a life, or don't like their life. Why not change it?

I don't know about others, but this is a huge turn off for me.

I've noticed lately that a lot of people around here seem to lack confidence and have low self esteem. There's a lot of "woe is me I don't have a life" kind of stuff going on. Why? I don't get why people are just sitting around, complaining that they don't have a life, or don't like their life. Why not change it?

I don't know about others, but this is a huge turn off for me.

Yes, that made more sense. And no, I don't think everyone who lacks confidence or has low self esteem is a whiner. I was just talking about the ones I've seen whining.

I guess that would depend on what you mean by "traumatic relationships."