No worries, Cookie. I was talking to Singmesweet.

Actually, none of the people who have been posting in the last few pages actually know me. We're just going by what each other says here. From what people have said, I have misunderstood them, just as they have misunderstood me. It happens. I do think some take things way too seriously, though.

I will say, though, even if I don't know someone, I'm probably going to be turned off by a lot of whining. No matter what their reasoning is. If that bothers others, sorry, that's just the way I am. There are plenty of others here who will sympathize with those who are whining.

...well I just try not to get bitter, cause in my opinion that´s the low point of self esteem. I mean I can joke about myself and my lack of a super ego. I rather be this way than a shallow person with a cold heart who lives life and hardly ever shows any emotion. I know a lot of people who are like that and I don´t point the finger at any one in particular... I wouldn´t dare cause...lol

Fair enough - and that is your right. I was just trying to explain what I think the others either couldn't express or left out.

Ah, ok, I see

Ahm I don't know what I should call it but I'm too aware what might people think,said or feel when I do something. It's just,,, Yeah I really don't know. As musician/entertainer we do need that but I'm very shy to go near and greet people around, I need to get lil bit of alcohol in my body to do that stuff...

Looks like we have some sort of catfight in the making...

We do?

A round peg in a square hole. ("Cubi.")

Alterette, and Lynx, thanks for the explanation.

So I am Autistic, because I have Asperger's. Check.

How does "schizophrenia" come into play here? I was diagnosed with that too, but now everyone tries to convince me I was never S., it was all in the head of my doctors.

I am very glad they have this diversification of diagnoses these days.

Erm, could you please tell me, Arlette or Lynx, if an inability to read text I don't want to read, part of Asperger's? Is being pathologically suffering with a feeling which is not depression, not a physical pain, just an incredibly powerful "don't want to do this" feeling, which is very strong, when I am forced to do jobs I really don't want to do, also part of Aspergers'?

By now I learned that my extreme dependence on logic is part of my Asp, much like a little mechanical or electronic device can be for other Aspies. I am more of an abstract thinker, and therefore logic is more comfortable for me to deal with than people and their feelings, or how my expressions will affect them; and my preferred pastime of relating to things is not mechanical toys but, like I said, logic and building mental maps and models of parts of the world we live in.

What a F-d up world my mind is, and I have to live with it.

At least I understand myself now better, because during the time I was diagnozed as a schizophrenic, the professional literature about my disease did not make sense to me at all. I, and everyone I whined about this, chalked it up to my being Schizophrenic, who ab ovo can't understand anything.

Yet I undestood quite a bit, and had no hallucinations, etc., but I was extremely ill-fitted in the social world.

When I became a man with a diagnosis of Asperger's, things started to fall into place, like in Tetris (c) game.

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Edit:

For the record, I never play Tetris, but I use it often as a symbolic in my conceptual comparisons and metaphors.

I read all your posts and I don't think you said anything harsh or unfeeling. People certainly are taking this way too personally. I know of people with low self esteem and I listen to them complain. I do try to make them feel better about themselves or suggest counselling. When my one friend whines; I just remind him that there are lots of people way off worse than he is. He may have low self esteem, but he has a roof over his head, food in his stomach, has his health, has friends, and has a job. I always say count your blessings as many are not as fortunate as we are.

YES YOU CAUGHT ME............LOL

I do not know enough about those things to answer your questions, although from what I have gathered, schizophrenia can be a learned behavioral psychosis, meaning you behave a certain way because it was ingrained into you by someone but part of your true self seeks to rebel against the ingrained pattern of behavior. Hence, the voice in your head, the alter ego, which seems to give good advice but often is not. At least, that was the impression I got from the one person I've actually known who is diagnosed as schizophrenic. My understanding could be wrong.

As far as the reading goes, for years my brother had the same problem and he thought it was dyslexia. Only this year did he find out that he has ADD, and so ADD was the cause of reading problems. Sometimes ADD can mimic dyslexia. I know this from experience, not because I've had the same reading problems my brother did, but rather because as my ADD worsened I would find myself having to re-read things because I read them wrong or I would reverse numbers because I was in a hurry and my attention span became super short. I never started reversing things until I was in my twenties.

Also, procrastination is a symptom of ADD. It all has to do with attention span. ADD makes it really difficult to focus and concentrate for long periods of time unless the task piques your interest almost to the point of obsession. I had heard of a few cases where someone had both ADD and autism. I've also heard of people being both ADD and OCD (like my buddy Paul). In the latter case, the OCD trigger becomes such a distraction that the ADD actually compels the person to remove the distraction just to achieve focus. However, the trigger may be related to another problem altogether.

For instance, Paul is color blind. A tray of sweeteners must be arranged by color, or he has trouble distinguishing one packet from another. It bothers his eyes, constantly drawing his attention away from conversation or thought. To me, it's fine. I can see all the colors. On the other hand, Paul will stop whatever he is doing to immediately sort the packets. He won't multitask at all. He won't even speak until he is finished sorting them. I've even tested him to see how long he can last before succumbing to the compulsion. About 10 seconds is the longest he can go.

The older we get, the more compounded our psychological problems become. If you are born with a condition, and go much of your life undiagnosed and untreated, you constantly try to adapt the best you can. Both your successes and your failures can cause other learned behaviors or neuroses to develop. How others react and interact with you can also cause new problems to develop. As a result, it be like a peeling an artichoke to get to the heart of the problem. The earlier that a genetic disorder is diagnosis, the simpler it is to treat. If you take the acquired disorders as face value, treating them separately and individually, they are more likely to return because the root cause has yet to be dealt with. Treating them in conjunction with the original source is much more effective, and improves the quality of life for the patient.

So, even though I don't know enough to give you an answer, I hope some of this will give you some insight toward finding your answers. Or, maybe I just confuse you even more.

Thank you. I do think a lot of people take things too seriously here and read into things too much. Maybe I should put more smiley faces to show I'm not being harsh?

I do my best to be there for my friends when they need to vent and I understand that being there to listen does help.

Without emoticons, the written word is often misinterpreted. If you write as you speak, visual and tonal inflections are completely lost. If a person has never met you, does not know your sense of humor, habits, or thinking, your true personality does not shine through at all.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way. Use emoticons whenever you aren't serious or want to show compassion or sincerity. It's why they exist....even from the earliest text-only BBS's. Back then, there was actually a 20 page print out of Netiquette to inform people how not to be misunderstood. Somewhere, I have a 20 year old copy of it in the attic.

I've really been online that long....I remember GEnie, Prodigy, and the infantile AOL. I remember when the entire internet, except for Prodigy, was text-only. I used to be able to do more then than I could do 8 years ago on the internet. Only now are some of those functions being returned within the graphical interface adopted 15 years ago.

I miss the old days...

It pains me and joys me to no end to discover a talent in the rough, that doesn't quite have the sense self of to unlock their magic.

So much so that I must be careful not to predicate my "self" on THAT.

......but it is SO AWESOME to watch flight!

GOSH!! I love that Eureka Moment!!!!

Well Its when you think good of people and they turn out to be just the opposite. That´s when I loose all faith in mankind. In the last month I have lost a friend, two people I thought I connected with and maybe that´s not the end of the world but when you suffer from low self esteem those things hits harder I think.

I constantly need confirmation to build myself up and when things go sour I always blame myself and I hate that. Am I odd, weird, did I say something wrong? I just can´t let it go but I have learnt to keep it to myself...well, sometimes....

Yes, I do understand why there are emoticons. However, I was joking a bit.

The root of my lack of confidence is usually the abuse I'd had when I was a child. I basically was told I'd do nothing with my life, and people seem to go, "See? You aren't." After you've heard nothing aside from that, you start to believe it. I mean, yeah, it's lame, and it sucks, but I'm working on building my self confidence in other ways besides the usual ways.

I'm alright with people who aren't super confident, no idea why but people who are, really rub me the wrong way, not entirely sure why. But I'm one of those people who isn't going to sugar coat the truth, and people don't like that and say that I'm hurting their self confidence, though for the most part it has little to nothing to do with the situation, it honestly depends.

As I've matured over the years, I've stopped putting up with a lot I used to, which I suppose, shows more confidence then I had before. I refuse to put up with it, I don't need it in my life. That and I have much more important things to do with my time then worry about some idiot dissing me or whatever. :P