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| Topic: I really don’t know why this happens...Is this normal? | |
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In need of some advice. I think I'm over thinking this...
About a month or so ago, I was chatting to this guy on another website and although we sort of hit it off and agreed to continue chatting with a view to meet but we didn't firm up a set a date.. however, whenever I logged on, he was always online. I am going to be completely honest and admit that part of me was ‘checking’ on him and the other part of was doing exactly what he was doing i.e. chatting to other people...can anyone say double standard  we hadn’t actually met or set a date to meet so no harm, no foul... The strange thing is that whenever I emailed or IM’d him when he was online him, he either sent back a one liner or didn’t respond at all...so me being me, I just left him alone and didn’t visit that website as often...and yes, I was trying to avoid him. On Monday, while online, he sent me a msg accusing me of ignoring him and wanting him to chase me. I reassured him and we chatted for a bit and agreed to meet again in a couple of weeks - I want time to get to know him - and I gave him my number...he didn’t give me his. It’s now Sunday. He hasn’t called...I’m not avoiding him this time. I’m also a bit rusty at this and I think he’s playing...what do you think? Before I get all the he's playing...let me be a bit more honest and say that I'm the one delaying meeting him. He did want to call me the day I gave him my number but I put him off...so he probably thinks I'm not serious about meeting him... |
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It seems he is, not playing you exactly, he is just unsure. He lacks confidence.
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1. He won't reciprocate with HIS number.
2. He is on the other website..a lot. 3. He whines and is accusatory. 4. He does not follow-through. The Game is in play, I would say. |
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Sounds complicated and difficult. I like easy and relaxed..
How about if you just say what you are feeling and sort it out from there, dont beat around the bush just throw it out on the table and then there are no worries. You will both know where you stand. |
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It seems he is, not playing you exactly, he is just unsure. He lacks confidence. I think we're both a little unsure and lacking in confidence. I know my reasons for this but obvious don't know his. Would you ask? |
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In need of some advice. I think I'm over thinking this... About a month or so ago, I was chatting to this guy on another website and although we sort of hit it off and agreed to continue chatting with a view to meet but we didn't firm up a set a date.. however, whenever I logged on, he was always online. I am going to be completely honest and admit that part of me was ‘checking’ on him and the other part of was doing exactly what he was doing i.e. chatting to other people...can anyone say double standard we hadn’t actually met or set a date to meet so no harm, no foul... The strange thing is that whenever I emailed or IM’d him when he was online him, he either sent back a one liner or didn’t respond at all...so me being me, I just left him alone and didn’t visit that website as often...and yes, I was trying to avoid him. On Monday, while online, he sent me a msg accusing me of ignoring him and wanting him to chase me. I reassured him and we chatted for a bit and agreed to meet again in a couple of weeks - I want time to get to know him - and I gave him my number...he didn’t give me his. It’s now Sunday. He hasn’t called...I’m not avoiding him this time. I’m also a bit rusty at this and I think he’s playing...what do you think? Before I get all the he's playing...let me be a bit more honest and say that I'm the one delaying meeting him. He did want to call me the day I gave him my number but I put him off...so he probably thinks I'm not serious about meeting him... have u been honest with him about why you are delaying meeting? |
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1. He won't reciprocate with HIS number. 2. He is on the other website..a lot. 3. He whines and is accusatory. 4. He does not follow-through. The Game is in play, I would say. I think you're right Soufie...It's like whenever he comes on to me, I back off and when I do the same to him, he backs off. I think we're both doing a bit of 'playing'. Thanks 
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Sounds complicated and difficult. I like easy and relaxed.. How about if you just say what you are feeling and sort it out from there, dont beat around the bush just throw it out on the table and then there are no worries. You will both know where you stand.  once again Josie nails it the girls got rhythm - I agree with this totally |
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Sounds complicated and difficult. I like easy and relaxed.. How about if you just say what you are feeling and sort it out from there, dont beat around the bush just throw it out on the table and then there are no worries. You will both know where you stand. I'd almost made up my mind to send him one last email saying how I'm feeling before throwing in the towel. Thanks Josie
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sun 02/12/12 07:38 AM
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have u been honest with him about why you are delaying meeting? Yes I was...both times. Again, if I'm honest, both reasons were valid (to me) but probably sounded a bit lame to him. I guess if I'd had chatted to him a bit more, I would have been less reluctant to meet him...having 'cold' dated before, I've made up my mind not to do that to myself anymore. I need to establish that I have something in common with someone before I agree to a date as there's nothing worse than dead air..and struggling for something to talk about. |
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Well, sounds like he's being ridiculousness. If you like someone, you keep talking to them. Its obvious. These are the kinds of silly games I really try to avoid analyzing. Turns out he's closed off. I'd move on if it gives you distress. No man should make a woman feel this inquisitive. His expectations of you are way too high. I just despise that word "chase", whatever happened to "I like you, you like me, let's go from there?" Damn people these days are making it so complicated, and they wonder why they're single. You did nothing wrong in this, its typical jerk behavior that women don't deserve.
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have u been honest with him about why you are delaying meeting? Yes I was...both times. Again, if I'm honest, both reasons were valid (to me) but probably sounded a bit lame to him. I guess if I'd had chatted to him a bit more, I would have been less reluctant to meet him...having 'cold' dated before, I've made up my mind not to do that to myself anymore. I need to establish that I have something in common with someone before I agree to a date as there's nothing worse than dead air..and struggling for something to talk about. ahhh cold feet. well it may not be best to assume he thinks your reasons are lame also usually we know it's right when it's a go things click....is there something about him that bothers you? |
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He's married.
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He's married. Initially I thought he might have been seeing someone but this makes a lot of sense. |
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He's married. Yep..thought this also but am giving benefit of doubt. |
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Well, sounds like he's being ridiculousness. If you like someone, you keep talking to them. Its obvious. These are the kinds of silly games I really try to avoid analyzing. Turns out he's closed off. I'd move on if it gives you distress. No man should make a woman feel this inquisitive. His expectations of you are way too high. I just despise that word "chase", whatever happened to "I like you, you like me, let's go from there?" Damn people these days are making it so complicated, and they wonder why they're single. You did nothing wrong in this, its typical jerk behavior that women don't deserve. I agree. |
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Honestly, some folks are simply not good with typing their thoughts. I wouldnt judge him by the messages, I would judge him by the fact that he wanted to meet. Some folks are very verbal in the face to face and rely on that to connect. If you delay his opportunity to show that to you, that could be why he's upset. Thanks K
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sun 02/12/12 08:03 AM
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 double post
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He's married. Yep..thought this also but am giving benefit of doubt. It's just the first thing that popped into my head. Take it for what it's worth. (About a nickel) 
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He's married. Yep..thought this also but am giving benefit of doubt. It's just the first thing that popped into my head. Take it for what it's worth. (About a nickel) Do'ya know what Ruth, it was the first thing that popped into mine as well...but guilty until proven guilty right!  . Thank you
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