So, I have a new boyfriend that I met on JSH who is absolutely amazing. We have a bond that neither one of us can describe. We talked on the phone for the first time this weekend and we're already saying "I love you." I've never felt like this before. He said that he would propose already, but he wants to do it personally instead of online. His family already knows about me and they can't wait to meet me. He lives in Seattle, but is here on his Visa. His parents moved here from Italy when he was little and he hasn't been able to get his actual citizenship yet, but that doesn't bother me. However, he's waiting for his Visa to renew and he's in Spain for a conference. The problem is that in order to come back to the U.S. from Spain, he needs to get his Visa renewed and it's taking a long time. He's working with his lawyer to get the issue resolved ASAP and then he's coming here to Chicago and he asked me for my ring size!

Now, I haven't told my family that he's about to propose, but I have told them that I'm dating someone online and they're all up in arms about it. Has anyone here ever had an issue with friends and family over a long-distance relationship? What should I tell my family? I love him so much and we both know that we're going to get married. My roomate/best friend has talked to him and she's excited beyond all reason. Every time I read his emails or text messages, my heart skips several beats. I already know that I'm moving to Seattle in a year or so even prior to us dating- that's how I found him. I wanted to get to know people in the area so I would have friends and then this happened. He even said when his Visa renews he would move here to the Chicago area just to be closer to me and go back to Seattle once a month for work until I'm done with school and my new apartment lease is up. That took me by surprise. So, what should I tell my parents?

I don't mean to rain on your parade...BUT things seem to be moving way to fast...Trust me based on experience...If they are moving this fast...regardless if your feelings are real...His probably aren't...Just talking on-line and talking on the phone once is not enough to get to know someone...Please don't make plans until you do meet or you could be sorrowly disappointed...I speak from experience...I had almost the same scenario once BUT guess what after 7 months he disappeared...I don't want to see that happen to you!!!!!!!!!!

I think your family and friends just don't want to see you hurt either...Please take things slow!!!!!!!!!

i agree with Native

i also would be concerned regarding his citizenship, if he wanted it he would of had it by now. his story does not add up. be careful something is not right

Speaking as a guy (don't let the fact that I look stunning in a dress fool you ), it is possible for a guy to fall in love that fast. My roommate actually started a relationship with feeling that intense, and of course the people that cared about him offered caution.

I also advise caution, although it doesn't have to be from a lack of trust. In my experience, passion which burns quickly, dies quickly, causing harm to everything around it. I'm not saying because your feeling grew so strong so rapidly that you guys won't work out; I'm saying that you should slowly stoke the fires of your relationship so that you can gain the full benefit of getting to know each other.

If you guys love each other, which sounds like the case, then you owe it to each other to take your time. Relationships are a journey; so take the scenic route. Why rush the journey when you aren't even sure of the destination? Marriage is a life-long commitment to another person, and that person deserves the respect of a well-thought out and considered decision.

Wait.........SLOW DOWN!! How can anyone know if they love someone without ever meeting them! I know you're excited, but take a deep breath and think about this. If it's meant to be, it will be........but take it slower and get to know each other first. Trust me on this one.....please!!!

Well said Tom...and yes you do look rather stunning in that dress I might add!!!!!!

*Flutters eyelashes* Oh you are too kind!

once again I agree with Native...Tom--very stunning in that dress!!

*Does a little twirl* I got it at Ross!!

I'm sorry but I don't think anyone will have any different advice for you. I have been in the fast lane to love before and it has always burned out fast. Not to say I won't do it again or that it wasn't fantastic, it is! But it hasn't ever lasted. Sorry the best thing to do is slow down!

What's weird is that when I went against my instincts before, I got badly hurt. My instincts told me to run then and I didn't. Now they're telling me just the opposite with this relationship. Of course, my head is telling me that we're going fast, but my instincts are telling me it's right. I listened to my head instead of my heart before, so now I don't know which to trust. It just feels right with him like everything fell into place at once. I can't really explain it. Just yesterday, I questioned his motives and made an ass out of myself. My friend and I felt like A-holes for interrogating him and then everything checked out clear in the end. It had to do with him having a phone number he called me on from Morocco on Saturday and then I realized that he needs a valid number he can use during trips to Europe without roaming. After my friend and I interrogated him about it, we felt like jerks and it made me trust my heart more than my head.

Also, the last time I had a relationship that went fast like this, I let the best person in my life slip away because I listened to my head instead of my heart. I'm not going to let that happen again. I told him I can't even get married until I'm out of school and situated in massage therapy and he's waiting for me on that. I appreciate your advice, Native, but I was engaged for a year and listened to my head instead of my heart. My heart told me he would never change and my head told me that I was too weak to make it on my own. Eventaully, listening to my head just about killed me. My heart got me out of a horrible relationship and I was weary about starting this one, but when you end up dreaming about someone and you see signs all around you that make you think of them, I wonder why I shouldn't be with him. It's one of those things where you just know. Isn't that what we're all looking for here- that connection?

Motevia, no one is saying dump him ,just be careful and don't buy the cake yet!

Thank you, Carebear, but I came here for advice on what to say to my family- not criticism over my choice of the relationship itself.

Hey, no criticism intended. Just voicing similar concerns to what your parents might have.

If you are just looking for quick advice on what to say to allay their fears...focus on the fact that if they trust you, they will support you. Let them know that their lack of trust in you is hurtful, because if they were expressing the feelings that you are expressing, your reaction would be one of support, not derision. Then, explain how you are tempering your passion with logic, and show them how you are protecting yourself without damaging your relationship with doubt.

That being said, I think it is wonderful that you are following your heart. You should definitely be willing to sacrifice everything for a chance at love...just remember you don't necessarily HAVE to risk everything, lol

Thanks, Tom. I know if he does propose, I'm not even going to tell them until Christmas when I can take them to Iowa to meet them. I'm just glad that he's already told his family about us and they're really supportive and happy. I really can't wait to meet his sisters. One of them is my age and the other one is closer to my sisters age, so I find that kinda funny. My friend told me today that broken hearts heal and you only live once- so it's better to take the leap than to watch your chance go by and living your life in regret. It makes sense, though, because she's told me of a lot of chances she's missed out on out of fear and doubt and now she's finally pregnant for the first time at 40. She says she wishes she would have taken a chance like this when she was my age. That makes me feel hopeful.

*Take him to Iowa to meet them*

If he marries you then he gets citizenship...that happened to my sister. This guy made her feel like a queen when his ultimate goal was to get married and stay married until he could live in the country legally without having to worry about a visa expiring. I'm not saying that your guy is doing that, but since it is moving so fast, I would double check! Better to check now than be sorry later like my sister!

Motevia I'm glad to see your on the forum and that you feel you have found someone. But like everyone else is saying be careful. This is just my opinion but I see to many red flags from the way you explaind your new found as you say love. One thing that bothers me the most,on what I read that you said. You just talked to him for the first time. I'm wondering how long you guys been chatting and if you seen him on cam? If not I would be really curious on why not knowing from what your saying is that he has a lawyer on a cam only caust pettey change.

I my self have just met the young lady in my pic. We have been chatting for almost two months. I just met her this face to face about a week ago. I can honestly say we feel the same as you have expressed yourself as you feel for you new love. but in all this, no matter how specialy she is or how I may feel for her I would not ask to marry me at this point knowing were just getting to know one another. we are talking about moving in with each other in a few months.We both feel we know what we wont and looking for and have gone over a few things as far as where we might be going. Before I met her I did the tex,the cam,the phone and email but from what your saying is you have no idea what this person is other then email. That to me scares me knowing he is willing to marry you so soon. So that is saying he is "IN LOVE WITH YOU" So i'm thinking how can that be when you never met or even possibly even seen him on cam. I myself have to be able to look and touch someone in that matter before I can say I'm in love with someone. Now I love the beautiful young lady i'm with but I can not say I'm in love with her at this point. that comes in time as we spend it "Together" words over the internet not knowing someone can only be so true untill you actually met.

in my opinion u cant fall in love over the computer