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Topic: What do you think?
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Sun 02/17/13 07:26 AM
I met a man on here about four weeks ago.We have went out on two dates and been places together. We talk constantly. My birthday is coming up soon and he is buying me flowers, taking me out to eat, were going bowling, then he wants to go to his house for some alone time. This would be our third date. So what Im asking is should I have sex with him? I asked him of he thinks were ready for that and he said Yes because were not keeping secrets from each other. What should I do?

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Sun 02/17/13 07:30 AM
Dont rush... just saying..

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Sun 02/17/13 07:32 AM

Dont rush... just saying..


Thanks. I will take your advice

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Sun 02/17/13 07:48 AM
Your Welcome lexxie..

Muaness's photo
Sun 02/17/13 08:17 AM
Edited by Muaness on Sun 02/17/13 08:27 AM

Muaness's photo
Sun 02/17/13 08:18 AM
Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.

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Sun 02/17/13 08:22 AM

I met a man on here about four weeks ago.We have went out on two dates and been places together. We talk constantly. My birthday is coming up soon and he is buying me flowers, taking me out to eat, were going bowling, then he wants to go to his house for some alone time. This would be our third date. So what Im asking is should I have sex with him? I asked him of he thinks were ready for that and he said Yes because were not keeping secrets from each other. What should I do?


that is defintely where he is going with the "alone time"

I would provide my own transporation and decline that offer....unless you also know him quite well from another venue

no photo
Sun 02/17/13 08:24 AM

Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

Muaness's photo
Sun 02/17/13 08:43 AM


Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

I agree she is pressured, but I think the OP is concerned more with her emotional safety here than her physical safety. Testing someones patience isn't childish either, unless the person involved displays her tactics childishly. For the man to be talking of a time alone means he is tired of chats and dates. The OP here might not just be seeking an intimate encounter but rather some good friendship.

no photo
Sun 02/17/13 09:07 AM



Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

I agree she is pressured, but I think the OP is concerned more with her emotional safety here than her physical safety. Testing someones patience isn't childish either, unless the person involved displays her tactics childishly. For the man to be talking of a time alone means he is tired of chats and dates. The OP here might not just be seeking an intimate encounter but rather some good friendship.


yes muaness. it is incredibly childish and it is not for you to judge the type of pressure she feels - her physical safety could very well be at stake

I think you are making assumptions that are not yours to make

TheRudester's photo
Sun 02/17/13 09:16 AM
Na, if you don't like him just tell him. Oh, are you old enough to be dating in the big world? Lollaugh

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Sun 02/17/13 09:38 AM




Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

I agree she is pressured, but I think the OP is concerned more with her emotional safety here than her physical safety. Testing someones patience isn't childish either, unless the person involved displays her tactics childishly. For the man to be talking of a time alone means he is tired of chats and dates. The OP here might not just be seeking an intimate encounter but rather some good friendship.


yes muaness. it is incredibly childish and it is not for you to judge the type of pressure she feels - her physical safety could very well be at stake

I think you are making assumptions that are not yours to make



I am emotionally worried. I am a virgin and I dont want him to hurt me afterwards

Muaness's photo
Sun 02/17/13 09:53 AM
Edited by Muaness on Sun 02/17/13 10:38 AM




Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

I agree she is pressured, but I think the OP is concerned more with her emotional safety here than her physical safety. Testing someones patience isn't childish either, unless the person involved displays her tactics childishly. For the man to be talking of a time alone means he is tired of chats and dates. The OP here might not just be seeking an intimate encounter but rather some good friendship.


yes muaness. it is incredibly childish and it is not for you to judge the type of pressure she feels - her physical safety could very well be at stake

I think you are making assumptions that are not yours to make

All opinions that we make has its assumptions. In the course of giving one advice there must be assumptions to be made. Someone seeking your opinion shouldn't expect you not to make assumptions.

Muaness's photo
Sun 02/17/13 10:03 AM





Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

I agree she is pressured, but I think the OP is concerned more with her emotional safety here than her physical safety. Testing someones patience isn't childish either, unless the person involved displays her tactics childishly. For the man to be talking of a time alone means he is tired of chats and dates. The OP here might not just be seeking an intimate encounter but rather some good friendship.


yes muaness. it is incredibly childish and it is not for you to judge the type of pressure she feels - her physical safety could very well be at stake

I think you are making assumptions that are not yours to make



I am emotionally worried. I am a virgin and I dont want him to hurt me afterwards

Be sure you are ready...

kc0003's photo
Sun 02/17/13 10:24 AM
he's ready because "were not keeping secrets from each other"
what kind of crap is that and when did this become a prerequisite for sleeping with someone? besides, how would you know, they're SECRETS!

if this is your first time, (as you say) you should be ready because you ARE ready and for all of the right reasons. not because he, or any of us say so.

no photo
Sun 02/17/13 11:25 AM

Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


The whole testing thing is lame. If you're not ready, don't have sex. But testing him to see what he does is pretty immature.

no photo
Sun 02/17/13 11:28 AM



Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


"testing" his patience is immature, childish game playing. The real concern is her safety and her feeling pressured. It seems to me the OP is feeling pressured or she would not be asking us for advice.flowerforyou

I agree she is pressured, but I think the OP is concerned more with her emotional safety here than her physical safety. Testing someones patience isn't childish either, unless the person involved displays her tactics childishly. For the man to be talking of a time alone means he is tired of chats and dates. The OP here might not just be seeking an intimate encounter but rather some good friendship.


Alone time doesn't mean someone is tired of chats and dates. But, I have to agree that testing/playing games is childish.

It sounds as if the OP is interested in the guy, as she's going on dates with him. That is more than friendship. However, that does not mean she needs to rush into having sex if she isn't ready.

Muaness's photo
Sun 02/17/13 11:39 AM


Test his patience... if he isn't gonna go with your pace then I doubt if he wants something serious. Anyway, that also depends on what you want too.


The whole testing thing is lame. If you're not ready, don't have sex. But testing him to see what he does is pretty immature.

What might seem lame to you might not to me, likewise what seems wise to you might sound stupid to me. Thats what makes us distinct. I believe your answer is based on how you understand the OP. I gave an answer that I believe is on point based on what I understand about the OP's question. Her problem isn't about being ready or not from what I deduced. However, its about been with the right person.

jacktrades's photo
Sun 02/17/13 02:42 PM
Sometimes a recent infatuation can burn out after a little while. I think you should make him wait longer until you find out if he wants to know who you really are of justs wants you physically.No sense of rushing you got plenty of time.Giving yourself for the first time to someone who's just trying to score will make you feel like you wasted it.Good luck and god bless!!

no photo
Sun 02/17/13 03:34 PM
Is this guy older than you by any chance? If so, then I'm not that surprised if I'm honest. I remember a twenty four year old man kept being in my face at college, when I was only sixteen. It was frightening and intimidating. I knew what he wanted from me, but I already had a boyfriend. One my own age. I had to get my step father to have words with him to leave me the hell alone. I almost thing some are bordering on becoming a rapist when they don't get their own way. What gives any man a right to force you? He isn't as rational as he might like to think. I dread what he may have in store. Not sure I like the sound of it. Why would you go to his house if you've only known him four weeks? Four. Four weeks is barely enough time. Of course he invited to his house. He lives on his own, which is gauranteed he thinks he can get away with a lot more, than someone living with others. Just consider it. Still, it's out of our hands what you do. Just make sure you have some sort of communication back-up, incase.

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