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Topic: TO GIVE UP OR TO MAKE UP
SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 12:00 AM
I don't know if i am in the right track. I just want to hear people's opinion.

Well, if you don't have anything nice to say, just shut up.

Here it goes:

i loved a man who is older than me. I loved him despite of our differences such as nationality, opinions, culture, etc. It was a perfect relationship and we even agreed to start building our lives together. He is a well of man while i am just a simple nurse. He has everything a guy would ask for. While i am simple and determine to live in simplicity. The problem is, the man broke up with me for a lousy reason. One month had passed, no emails nor phonecall, til i had confirmed that now, i am 1 month pregnant with our child. Is it worth to please him to take me back and be ok for the sake of our child or should i continue my life without him?

818birtbikerider's photo
Fri 05/10/13 12:07 AM
In situations like this its always best to follow your heart. However you should (if you haven't done so already) let the man in question know your pregnant and find out if he's willing to give the relationship another chance. Hope I helped:)

SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 12:10 AM
I would like to give it a try for the sake of the baby in my womb. But i don't know how to build up again. Its like i have loved a stranger.

818birtbikerider's photo
Fri 05/10/13 12:25 AM
Edited by 818birtbikerider on Fri 05/10/13 12:27 AM
I know from personal experience that when most guys find out that someone is pregnant with their child it really changes the way we think. So you'll never know unless you give it a chance. He just might want to put in the effort yo build a long, and healthy relationship with you.

Winlei's photo
Fri 05/10/13 12:31 AM
For me you should move on. He was the one who broke up with you. Whats the sense of making it up if he did manage to break you up with that "lousy reason" he can always make excuses to leave you. Now if he was the one who come knocking on your door maybe thats the time when you give him a second chance but if you chase him without even taking a second glance at you then let go. You didnt deserve him. You and your baby deserve someone BETTER THAN HIM. Do you get my point?

Winlei's photo
Fri 05/10/13 12:34 AM

I know from personal experience that when most guys find out that someone is pregnant with their child it really changes the way we think. So you'll never know unless you give it a chance. He just might want to put in the effort yo build a long, and healthy relationship with you.

Giving a lousy excuse of a reason is a sign of cutting the connection between you besides as you said he didnt bother to call or mail you. He dont want you back.

no photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:05 AM
I always think it's a good idea to include both parents (meaning you and him). What would it really achieve if you both became bitter and rowed every time you see each other? You don't ever want to become like those single parents who never get over their ex and cause a row in their street, and pissing off their neighbours in the process ;) lol. You should always be the bigger person. If he can't support you, or won't, just live with the baby. At least you won't miss out on it's first moves and it growing up. Just think how he will miss out on a lot of it, if he decides to leave you for good. I know it's unfair. If he won't give the baby a chance, then what does that say about him? Sorry, but a guy who won't stick around to see their child grow up, isn't worth salt, well not to me. Just hoping you will be able to cope okay throughout it all. Please feel free to talk about your problems. Some of us really do listen. And take your time, too. Be good to yourself flowerforyou.

ridewytepony's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:14 AM
If you dont stand for something ! You will fall for anything!

Were you guys trying to have a baby?

Since he found out your pregnant is he making you "fall in" bow down to his commands.

You say its a near perfect relationship but yet he's not running back ? Something your not telling us?

There's somthing about you that he cant except? Mabee you are socially awkward and your

In a co-dependency relationship he trying to brake?

Do you have a life outside of him?; sounds like your smothering him & he see's it worse with the

Baby.

If this is the case you going to cut him the slack he needs to function as a man and both


work on having a life outside of each other but remaining as one (unified)

The best relationship are the one's that breath!

I've been in the exact situation, with lots of problems got her out of my life sent her to her moms

1200Milesaway and when I went to brush my teeth i found a pregnancy tester in the box with my tooth brush

that read possitive.

The end

TawtStrat's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:29 AM
Regardless of whether or not you get back with him, your child has a right to know its father. You need to tell him that you're pregnant. If he decides not to face up to his responsibilities then you have done what you can and when the child is old enough to ask you why its father hasn't been there you can say that he chose not to be.

I don't think that you should use the child as a weapon though. Just because the guy dumped you, that really has nothing to do with his responsibilities and rights as a father.

Winlei's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:33 AM
Your story is like the story of my sister. I hate to see woman who is chasing for a man. As rawr says its best if you tell him but if he wont give you a chance to speak, you better let go and stop chasing. You are just fooling yourself. Dont make your baby a bridge to connect the family. It must be the love that will bond it.

SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:42 AM
We had been trying to make a child since then. I was'nt convinced about it before. I used to take precautions. It was just the month when i decided to give it a try with him. I told him how that having a baby is out of my plans yet. I am still young and not yet establish my finances. I'm merely starting my life. But he told me its ok, that he will embrace my culture and be here beside me. So i thought i have to give it a try. I am willing to give up my dreams and plans just to give way to the parenthood. I am willing to play the role of a loving and caring wife to be for him. He wants to have kids and he had been asking me for one. Now, i hardly know what to do. He broke up with me thinking that i am inlove with my cellphone, he suspected that i have chatmates and drown into online chit chats when i have nothing but FB.

TawtStrat's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:47 AM
I mean, if you were having unprotected sex, you are both responsible obviously and he knocked you up and left you but without the details as to what your disagreement with him was about we only have your word for it that it was silly. If you think it was silly and not a good reason to break up I dare say that he doesn't see it that way. I guess that he shouldn't have got a woman pregnant and left her and that is a reason why he has some responsibility to you as well as the child but the one inocent here could be the child because we are in no position really to know who was in the wrong with your disagreement without knowing what it was and frankly, it's probably a private matter between you and the man in question.

Get in touch with him anyway and let him know the situation and even if you don't get back together, make sure that you get child support.

TawtStrat's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:50 AM

We had been trying to make a child since then. I was'nt convinced about it before. I used to take precautions. It was just the month when i decided to give it a try with him. I told him how that having a baby is out of my plans yet. I am still young and not yet establish my finances. I'm merely starting my life. But he told me its ok, that he will embrace my culture and be here beside me. So i thought i have to give it a try. I am willing to give up my dreams and plans just to give way to the parenthood. I am willing to play the role of a loving and caring wife to be for him. He wants to have kids and he had been asking me for one. Now, i hardly know what to do. He broke up with me thinking that i am inlove with my cellphone, he suspected that i have chatmates and drown into online chit chats when i have nothing but FB.


Alright, then he's an idiot and a control freak but you still need to tell him that you're pregnant.

SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 01:53 AM
I am not trying to use my pregnancy to trap him. I just thought maybe i am entitled to have him here beside me even until my delivery. Its not easy being pregnant. I only have two choices and these choices are very heartbreaking to me. Either i induced myself and just remove it out of my womb, i am a nurse and i meant to be PRO-LIFE. I'm afraid that my conscience will haunt me in the end. My other choice is to go on and endure the pregnancy. Face all the obligations and responsibilities no matter how hard it is. But i just want to give our child the family that he deserve. Something complete. A father to protect him and me as a mother. Was it wrong for me to dream of that? I am afraid what if i go on, i could just bring the agony to my child's mind, i wanted to atleast tell him that i did everything to bring his dad around, its just him who did not bother to give us the importance that we need.

SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 02:01 AM
I love him and i know i will love him til the last drop of my blood. He is the only man that i had been with. I accepted everything about him. I gave up my chance to be in the states just to stay with him. He knows my whereabouts, my friends. I am lost.

TawtStrat's photo
Fri 05/10/13 02:22 AM

I love him and i know i will love him til the last drop of my blood. He is the only man that i had been with. I accepted everything about him. I gave up my chance to be in the states just to stay with him. He knows my whereabouts, my friends. I am lost.


Yeah, you say that but here you are on a dating site presumably looking for another man. I get that you just need friendship and support just now and that you need to decide what to do about your pregnancy but your baby already has a father, so resolve that situation and you need to concentrate on just being a mother for now if you decide to keep the child and if he doesn't come back to you.

akn91's photo
Fri 05/10/13 02:32 AM
i think u should try to convince him and shows him how much u love him...i he realize u or ur love then its great and if he did not give any response to you that means he is a fraud man and he didnot want spend his whole lyf with u....he is only use u and he is successed. so better u forget him and live a new lyf may be in future u will meet good partner better than him.

SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 02:37 AM
I just want to hear the other's opinion and stands if ever they are in the same shoe. I may be miserable at this point but it does'nt mean that i am going to hurry and look for a rebound. I just want to speak up my mind and hear the other's advice. I don't have anyone beside me so i don't have a shoulder to cry on.

SimpleME23's photo
Fri 05/10/13 02:40 AM
He said he loves me just as much. And i dön't know what went wrong. The only reason that he gave was he does'nt want me using or having a phone. That's all i know.

akn91's photo
Fri 05/10/13 02:42 AM
wat ur heart say?

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