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Topic: in a rush to get married?
4evababy Joined Tue 02/26/13 Posts: 9258	Sun 05/19/13 12:50 AM
why are so manypeople in a rush for this major step it seems thay want to skip straight to ut without getting to know the person first

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Sun 05/19/13 01:17 AM
That's what I'm wondering myself. Maybe they think they'll die tomorrow, which could be true, but not that likely. Otherwise, yes, what's the rush?

4evababy Joined Tue 02/26/13 Posts: 9258	Sun 05/19/13 01:31 AM
i know right, wheres the engagement period? lol

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 05/19/13 05:57 AM Edited by renee2511 on Sun 05/19/13 05:58 AM
why are so manypeople in a rush for this major step it seems thay want to skip straight to ut without getting to know the person first i do have the same question ... and they are not bothered to know u understand u.. to know how u feel and why u react the way u react. marriages are life long commitment to me, and i think people should know each other well while some men are never bothered to.. and i dont understand why this is not important to them!

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 05/19/13 05:58 AM
any man knows the answer?

henrysmith34 Joined Sat 05/18/13 Posts: 1	Sun 05/19/13 06:17 AM
To me I think the reasons are clear,they are in a rush to have some one the will sleep and wake up with is that not sweet enough to be in a rush...lol but it is

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Sun 05/19/13 06:19 AM
what's odd is up until what,the 1950's or so,a guy could ask a woman to marry him maybe a week after meeting her and that was the norm and the marriages normally lasted til one of them passed away.now days,a man might know a woman a year and people think it's still way too soon to propose what the heck changed?

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 05/19/13 06:24 AM
why are so manypeople in a rush for this major step it seems thay want to skip straight to ut without getting to know the person first I agree, same thing with sex our culture has changed to one where these things are only activities to be done without much significance or substance placed upon what they really mean or what their long term results/effects will be

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 05/19/13 06:25 AM
what's odd is up until what,the 1950's or so,a guy could ask a woman to marry him maybe a week after meeting her and that was the norm and the marriages normally lasted til one of them passed away.now days,a man might know a woman a year and people think it's still way too soon to propose what the heck changed? in 1950's women's ultimate goal in life was to get married, totally dependent on husband and they had no other dreams than to sleep with a good man and to have children. they could think of nothing but cooking sewing and gossiping with their friends about their husband. today women has much of a life and need an identity just like men. though, the need to love remains unchanged. so u see there is a change in lifestyle?

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Sun 05/19/13 06:29 AM
what's odd is up until what,the 1950's or so,a guy could ask a woman to marry him maybe a week after meeting her and that was the norm and the marriages normally lasted til one of them passed away.now days,a man might know a woman a year and people think it's still way too soon to propose what the heck changed? in 1950's women's ultimate goal in life was to get married, totally dependent on husband and they had no other dreams than to sleep with a good man and to have children. they could think of nothing but cooking sewing and gossiping with their friends about their husband. today women has much of a life and need an identity just like men. though, the need to love remains unchanged. so u see there is a change in lifestyle? i would give my thoughts on whats has screwed up relationships but i won't because if i do,i will get hate mail from every woman in these forums and some of that mail would probably be death threats

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 05/19/13 06:44 AM Edited by msharmony on Sun 05/19/13 06:45 AM
what's odd is up until what,the 1950's or so,a guy could ask a woman to marry him maybe a week after meeting her and that was the norm and the marriages normally lasted til one of them passed away.now days,a man might know a woman a year and people think it's still way too soon to propose what the heck changed? in 1950's women's ultimate goal in life was to get married, totally dependent on husband and they had no other dreams than to sleep with a good man and to have children. they could think of nothing but cooking sewing and gossiping with their friends about their husband. today women has much of a life and need an identity just like men. though, the need to love remains unchanged. so u see there is a change in lifestyle? i would give my thoughts on whats has screwed up relationships but i won't because if i do,i will get hate mail from every woman in these forums and some of that mail would probably be death threats depends upon how you word it,, lol I personally think the perfect storm of a couple things screwed up relationships,, all starting with the restructuring of family and family roles,,,, women wanting to work outside the houme turned into women being EXPECTED to work outside the home and children left raised by tv programming and schools and babysitters and nannies,,,etc combined with the sexual revolution which made sex just the thing to do without judgement or stigma just because we are 'animals' who should fulfill our lusts like any other animal,,,,,,and children being created who werent really planned or wanted between parents who really felt no commitment and often no love for one another,,,, and competition between the male and female as 'equals' instead of continuing their complimentary roles as 'partners',,,, ,,,,now, if you were gonna just place it all on women,,u were probably gonna get hate mail....

Torgo70 Joined Fri 06/27/08 Posts: 27387	Sun 05/19/13 06:49 AM
So who is gonna marry me? NOW!

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Sun 05/19/13 06:50 AM
what's odd is up until what,the 1950's or so,a guy could ask a woman to marry him maybe a week after meeting her and that was the norm and the marriages normally lasted til one of them passed away.now days,a man might know a woman a year and people think it's still way too soon to propose what the heck changed? in 1950's women's ultimate goal in life was to get married, totally dependent on husband and they had no other dreams than to sleep with a good man and to have children. they could think of nothing but cooking sewing and gossiping with their friends about their husband. today women has much of a life and need an identity just like men. though, the need to love remains unchanged. so u see there is a change in lifestyle? i would give my thoughts on whats has screwed up relationships but i won't because if i do,i will get hate mail from every woman in these forums and some of that mail would probably be death threats depends upon how you word it,, lol I personally think the perfect storm of a couple things screwed up relationships,, all starting with the restructuring of family and family roles,,,, women wanting to work outside the houme turned into women being EXPECTED to work outside the home and children left raised by tv programming and schools and babysitters and nannies,,,etc combined with the sexual revolution which made sex just the thing to do without judgement or stigma just because we are 'animals' who should fulfill our lusts like any other animal,,,,,,and children being created who werent really planned or wanted between parents who really felt no commitment and often no love for one another,,,, and competition between the male and female as 'equals' instead of continuing their complimentary roles as 'partners',,,, ,,,,now, if you were gonna just place it all on women,,u were probably gonna get hate mail.... no matter how i word it,it's gonna be bad.

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 05/19/13 07:04 AM
i agree with msharmony

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Sun 05/19/13 07:08 AM
I dated my first wife 6 months prior to marriage. I dated my second wife 1 week prior to marriage. First marriage: 1 year Second marriage: 12 years Apparently to get one that lasts I need to just date her for 1 day.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 05/19/13 07:10 AM


metalwing Joined Fri 11/14/08 Posts: 26218	Sun 05/19/13 07:15 AM
In addition to MH's comments, the world has changed with families wanting more and more. In the 50's, a man could provide for a family by having a small house and plenty of fresh food to cook. It didn't cost that much to live. Nowadays, each family member needs a cell phone, the house must have cable TV, energy costs many times what it cost then (gas was 20 cents a gallon), everything is air conditioned, medical care costs a ton ... all of this combined is much more likely to need two incomes and all the stress that goes with it. Relationships have changed. It's a different world.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 05/19/13 07:22 AM
In addition to MH's comments, the world has changed with families wanting more and more. In the 50's, a man could provide for a family by having a small house and plenty of fresh food to cook. It didn't cost that much to live. Nowadays, each family member needs a cell phone, the house must have cable TV, energy costs many times what it cost then (gas was 20 cents a gallon), everything is air conditioned, medical care costs a ton ... all of this combined is much more likely to need two incomes and all the stress that goes with it. Relationships have changed. It's a different world. true, economy and the gluttonous culture (MORE Technology, less human contact, MORE access to MORE junk, less need for someone at home making meals,,,)have contributed too,....

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 05/19/13 09:07 AM
In addition to MH's comments, the world has changed with families wanting more and more. In the 50's, a man could provide for a family by having a small house and plenty of fresh food to cook. It didn't cost that much to live. Nowadays, each family member needs a cell phone, the house must have cable TV, energy costs many times what it cost then (gas was 20 cents a gallon), everything is air conditioned, medical care costs a ton ... all of this combined is much more likely to need two incomes and all the stress that goes with it. Relationships have changed. It's a different world. true, economy and the gluttonous culture (MORE Technology, less human contact, MORE access to MORE junk, less need for someone at home making meals,,,)have contributed too,.... agreed.. having said this.. just looking for opinions what do u think is necessary for a successful marriage.. i think apart from honesty love trust and financial conditions, emotional compatibility is also an imprtant thing. wat do u think

krupa Joined Thu 07/03/08 Posts: 18651	Sun 05/19/13 09:51 AM
why are so manypeople in a rush for this major step it seems thay want to skip straight to ut without getting to know the person first They are tired of all the Sex... Next question.