(long but hopefully worth your time)

In this world we live in, with all its technology and distractions, its sometimes easy to take what we have for granted. We have cellphones, ipads, iphones,x-boxes,laptops flat screen T.V.s, cars and children.
It may seem odd to include children in the same sentence with all our gadgets but there are some similarities.

Remember when you got your first car? The anticipation of looking for it, whether from a dealer or newspaper. Then finally buying it, the excitement of driving around in your "new" car. After weeks,months or years it just becomes an everyday thing, bringing you to work or a store,but you hardly give it a second thought.
Children can be similar in much the same way,although we love our children much more then a car.
Remember the anticiapation (and worry) of having a baby?
The incredible Joy (and relief that they are healthy)of holding your newborn child in your arms. For the first months and years, they are the focus of all your love and joy. Sadly, through time we lose that sense of "attention" to our children. Not that we love them any less,just that the focus on them seems to get lost in the everyday scramble to survive.
Every once in a while we see a commercial about children with cancer , maybe a neighbor or friend that has a seriously disabled child, and we think to ourselves how lucky we are that our child is healthy and happy.But those thoughts usually go as quickly as they came and inside you never think anything like that could happen to you.
I was somewhat like this too. My son was a healthy happy child who loved to make people laugh. He would imitate people he'd seen on television like Jim Carrey or do moves like Micheal Jackson just to make people laugh.As he got older he started learning Karate and it became his passion in life. We would travel all over the states competing in tournaments and by the time he was 16, he had won the gold medal in the World Karate Championship in Orlando Fl. I was so proud and yet still puzzled how this young man who was so gentle, caring and unimposing could be such a fierce,intimdating, powerful competitor in the ring. His next goal was to be the UFC champion and he started to learn Brazilian Jujitsu to further enhance his skills. It was during his many training sessions I noticed him sweating and breathing harder then normal.
I took him to the doctor and our nightmare began.
The nurse who first took my son's vitals seemed perplexed and took his blood pressure and pulse several times as if the devices weren't working correctly. She left the room without a word and returned with the doctor, someone I had known a very long time.
He had a puzzled and worried look on his face as he examined my son, but kept his demeanor calm and asked if I had a cardiologist I used.
I was certainly concerned now and asked what the problem was,and seeing my expression and not wanting me to panic, just told me he could have something going on with his heart that a cardiologist will be able to diagnosis better.
The nurse came back in(didn't notice she had left in the first place) and told us the cardioligist was waiting for arrival as soon as we can get there.
Once we had gotten to the cardiologist, an older, and well renowned in his field, he had examined my son. He took me aside and told me quite frankly that in all his years he had never seen anyone actually walk into his office with such a bad heart condition. He said it might be because of his conditioning, but anyone else would be laying in bed and close to death.
Time stood still at that moment, my ears were ringing and couldn't grasp what I was hearing. I was told that he would have to be admitted to a hospital for more tests and that should be right now.

After weeks of extensive testing, it was determined he would need to have 2 heart valves replaced. The choice we were given was an artificial or pig valves. Artificial would last longer, but he would need to be on blood thinning drugs and not be able to compete in karate. That option was not for my son because karate was his life. Well about two days before he was to have surgery, a renowned pediatric surgeon came foward. He said he could use my son's own tissue from his pericardium to repair the damaged valves. This was very risky and experimental surgery. He was transfered to All Children's Hospital in St.petersburg and the open heart surgery was performed. This is every parents worse nightmare, I must have aged 10 years waiting and then watching him in the recovery room where we lost him 3 times. After 3 days, when the anethesia was wearing off and he became more aware of his surroundings, A doctor asked him how he was feeling. My son's first question was "when can I start training again?".After all the tension and worry that was pent up inside me, I could only laugh incredibly loud at my son's question.
Well over the next several months, he recovered well and was able to graduate with his senior class and was already training again, saying he hadn't felt this good in his whole life.

A few weeks after his graduation he started having flu like symptoms. I took him to his cardiologist for his frequent check up. They ran some blood tests and said he was anemic and needed a blood transfusion. Off to the hospital again, this time for a blood transfusion. After more tests at the hospital, it was found he was having kidney failure. This was devistating to my son because it meant more surgery(on chest to insert dialysis tubes)and being hooked up to a machine for 4 hours, 3 times a week which meant no more training. As chemo treatments started to cure the kidney disease more tests were also done to find out why he kept needing blood transfusions.
After several months of every test known to man, and samples sent to labs all over the country, it was determined he had a very rare immune system disease called HLH-MAS. As I read up on this horrible disease and saw that it had a high fatality rate, I still told myself, that happens to other people, it's not going to happen to my son.
After all the bad news, the countless surgeries(I can't even count how many)the chemos, and the dialysis, he never complained once. He always down played his illness to his freinds because he didn't want pity or special treatment. Well after several more months I took him for his weekly transfusion. They didn't like what his blood chemistry looked like and decided to admit him for more tests. Things went down hill over the weekend and on Monday morning his and my life ended.
Watching doctors frantically work on your child, pumping the chest, injecting god knows what into him and then finally looking at you and saying"we are sorry, theres nothing we could do" is something no one can possibly be prepared for.
He was my only child, my best friend and soulmate. I was responsible for his life and I had failed him.
I share this horrible story to drive home the fact to all parents that your children are never "out of the woods" and it can happen to YOU!
I am fortunate however because I can live with one special thing. You see I raised my son to be very independant. He would wear "pimp" outfits to school along with strange hair cuts and hair colors just to get a laugh from fellow students. He could care less what others thought of him. This was specially true with his openess to showing affection. When other kids in their mid to late teens think its "un cool" to be seen or hang with their parents. My son was just the oppisite. He would come home with 2 or 3 of his friends in tow to watch the monthly pay per view UFC fight, and the first thing he would do is walk up, put his big strong arms around me and kiss me, and say I love you dad.
When I look back on all the years, I can honestly say that not ONE day went by that we didn't hug and say how much we loved each other. For that I am happy and never have to regret something like that.

So never take this day for granted. Call your child over and give them a big hug and kiss. Tell them you love them.
If they are older and away, pick up the phone and call them.
Don't wait for your "car" to be totaled before you realize how much it means to you.
You never know what the next day will bring!

You can see a short video of the life and death of my Immortal, my hero here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iyUlJxzW5c&feature=youtu.be

God Bless and may all of you and your children be safe and happy!

Happy Birthday son, love and miss you always! XOXOXOX

What a precious post. I don't go a day probably even hour without grabbing my little guys up and loving on them!

Hug them everyday and tell them you love them

Oh Red....Oh God...I am just speechless and torn up....How beautiful and brave and strong you are...I only got through 2 minutes of the video...Crying too much to continue right now....Every parent who reads this post and views the video of your precious son will be deeply and positively affected....

Your son would be proud.

Happy Birthday to your son!

Maximum respect! My sons working in London, just now, but flying back to Scotland, at the weekend for his birthday. If all fathers thought the way you did my friend, the World would be a better place!

Thx everyone...it was a hard topic to post..but worth it I hope.
As parents we never think it will happen to OUR kids. Hopefully some will realize how precious everyday is with their loved ones.

What a post,what a father!And what a great lesson.I'm speechless

Merry Christmas son! Love and miss you xoxoxox!!!

So very sorry for your pain and so appreciate your post. You are exactly the kind of dad I was thinking of in an earlier post.

Until you have walked this hell on earth you really can't imagine how this experience changes you but you helped us all up our gratitude and adjust our attitude. Thank you for such a selfless gift by sharing.

From one Exceptional Parent to Another I send you all the comfort and prayers possible.

Wow, first of all..thank you for sharing something so personal. I cried when I watched the video and I knew I could never post something like that. I tell my son's every single day what they mean to me.
I wish there were more father's like you in this world. My heart goes out to you and I wish your son a Happy Birthday In Heaven. God Bless you.

Thanks for the warm thoughts
He was all I had and now holidays, birthdays have no meaning, there just another day. So I hope all parents out there realize that no matter how hard life seems to be, work, money, bills etc, if you and your children have their health, then you have everything!
Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a safe, healthy New Year