Topic: Met Someone from here And.....
areeb2930's photo
Mon 01/20/14 01:23 AM
So about a week ago a girl on here messaged me and we started talking. It lead us to exchanging numbers and then we started texting each other constantly which obviously lead to getting to know one another over the phone. The best part about all this is that we both feel we have such an amazing connection with one another and we are very alike in many ways and agree on so many things. This past weekend I was lucky enough to meet her for the first time and get to know her in person. She was exactly how I had hoped she would be. "My type"...Except the only problem we have is being different religions. We both arent all that religious. But her parents and my parents are....We both believe we will be great for one another. But now she is confused about being with me because of our different religions which could become a problem in the future for the two of us. I beleive if two people really love one another nothing can come in their way but then again im not all that religious... but i also dont wanna convert because I dont want to disappoint my family and Im sure she feels the same towards her family. So pretty much I dont know what to do. She was talking about being religious again and reading the bible and stuff and Im cool with that but the I just dont like her abandoning me for religion because I know if i was on her place i wouldnt abandon her no matter what especially considering we both sound perfect for one another. To some people this probably sounds terrible and Im sorry to offend anyone. But I hope you all understand what I mean. She is literally everything I had hoped to meet as a person. And now that I have met her the only problem is different religions. So i please request if someone here has any opinions they wanna share on this problem then feel free to do so. I would love to hear from you all so I can figure out what to do at this point. I have been hurt before and I just cant handle this right now. I wish I hadnt gotten so attached to her but its kinda too late for that now....

msharmony's photo
Mon 01/20/14 01:43 AM
id say people can be perfect for each other and make perfect friends

families wit similar values may not be all that important if one or both parties aren't particularly close with family and if there isn't the hope of raising children together

however, it is an obstacle if it ever comes down to joining your lives together or raising children together,,,,your families do become an extension of each other if either of you are close to your families,,,



larsson71's photo
Mon 01/20/14 02:11 AM
So you're going to let that one thing ruin your chance of happiness? My mum changed her religion when she married my dad and they were together 35 years. Sit down with her and have a talk, about what you both want and can a compromise be reached between you two? That's what it's about at the end of the day - you two, not your families! Too many people in families try to interfere and poke their nose in, that they would rather see a family member miserable, but with someone they approved of, than happy, but with someone they disapproved of? You two have to make the choice though? All I can say though is my dads family came round to my mum, as her personality and good nature shone through and won them all over in the end. I wish you all the best, ok?

no photo
Mon 01/20/14 02:29 AM
what others do doesn't really matter. You have to figure out what you can do. You cannot force her opinion or force her into a religion or relationship she does not want. I highly suggest you avoid trying to push her into any type of conversion as it probably will push her away.

The biggest thing is deciding what you would do as far as children if the relationship becomes serious. If she will be raising the children primarily she will have the greater influence in their religious upbringing. I raised my children catholic and eventually converted. I had been episcopalian so it wasn't a big change. I would never have agreed to raise my children in say, Islam for example.

If you and she cannot live independently of parental expectations and make your own decisions then you really are not ready for a serious relationship. It is good that you want to stay close to family, but this is your decision, not theirs. It really does not matter what they think. It matters what you and she think.

Kaleijoscope's photo
Mon 01/20/14 02:47 AM
...or maybe you are just way ahead of your worries. For all you know, this may not be an issue at all. The union is still young,don't spoil the fun, maybe if you both feel that it's really getting deeper,that's the time to go there...but i am sure,as the sun shines everyday, that true love ALWAYS finds a way... all the best to you!

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 01/20/14 03:43 AM
My mother is religious and my father isn't. I'm not religious myself but I dated a woman that said that she was protestant on her profile. She was about as religious as my arse but she was from Glasgow and made some disparaging remark about Celtic fans.

"Spiritual" types I can handle but I would pick an atheist or agnostic over a religious woman every time.

indignus's photo
Mon 01/20/14 05:00 AM
I don't have much to offer on this one. I have a real f..k you attitude when people who don't accept me for who I am and express their disapproval too me. I'd prob tell her parents and my parents where they could stick it if they didn't respect our choices.

Candiapples's photo
Mon 01/20/14 08:40 AM
I only have one word of advise

Its your life, NOT yours or hers parents' life,

People need to stop trying to please others. Focus on what you want, and be positive.

peachy78's photo
Mon 01/20/14 11:46 AM
Sounds a bit intense for talking for a few weeks...things may be moving too fast for her and this may be her "way out". Slow down and enjoy things, don't push it or you will just push her away. Good luck

soufiehere's photo
Mon 01/20/14 11:53 AM
Of the 7+ billion people on the planet, there are
probably 7+ billion differing opinions about religion.

It exists in your head, how you feel.
No 2 people feel the same.

Why make that a deal breaker?

no photo
Mon 01/20/14 12:38 PM
Religion, or a lack of one, can be a very big deal in a relationship. I could never be in a relationship with a religious person, and I say that upfront, so there are no surprises, even my friends are mainly agnostic or atheist.

For many religious people, their faith is their entire life, it controls everything they think and do, and they base many decisions on it. So for those who say "it doesn't matter," and that the OP and the girl he is with should just overlook it and focus on their love, etc. etc. it's obvious you've never been in that position before.

To the OP, I don't have any advice for you, I just hope it works out for the best for everyone involved. I wish you good luck.flowerforyou

allie0408's photo
Fri 01/31/14 08:19 PM
Edited by allie0408 on Fri 01/31/14 08:37 PM
It's obvious that religion is important for you guys and that it's going to be an issue unless you both decide this for and by yourselves.
I come from a very religious background and I consider myself religious as well so I can understand the preassure that family puts on you and the expectations that are raised regarding this topic but at the end of the day it's about what she and you decide.
I can tell you that nowadays I wouldn't have religion as a deal breaker in a relationship. It has to come to a point when you think what would make you happy, which things are bearable and which ones are not. If people are going to like it or not there is absolutely nothing you can do about that or that you think you could owe them. At the end of the day things work out for the best and feelings that were hurt would be mend. Good luck!