Community > Misc Advice, Help & Support

Topic: I NEED HONEST MEN TO ANSWER THIS PLEASE!
teebee79 Joined Wed 11/07/12 Posts: 2179	Fri 03/28/14 12:34 PM
Iam sorry tee. ill wear my good pj and a nicer tshirt next time. LOL.You rock tee dont let that get to ya. rock on ! That's all I ask Nascar... Wear the good T's on our dates!

teebee79 Joined Wed 11/07/12 Posts: 2179	Fri 03/28/14 12:39 PM
I give it 3 weeks before you dating this guy again....it seems there are some things not making sense, he may have moved too soon, but it seems at the same time you do care if he texts you, and that you are trying to have 'more' of a conversation than just friends.....that is my opinion Nah... Even if I did " see" him as a possible date, he ruined it with the ripped to shreds Tee shirt and pajama bottoms. I consider that disrepectful. Yes, it's his home... but When I have a guest, I wear clean and un ripped clothes. Even if someone pops over unexpectedly, I'll throw on a long shirt and yoga pants.

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Fri 03/28/14 01:01 PM
Everyone has their own BS (belief system), they hear/see/believe what they want to. No one is responsible for another's BS. A lot of women take my disinterest in them as me being gay. So what. Although, I will say sombunall (some but not all) men I know will assume a woman coming over to their house means they want to "cuddle". You have a past precedent that you didn't really reset, as well. For example, most of my female friends who invite me over know that all I am gonna do is fall asleep on their sofa. One called and asked what I was doing tonite, I said "nothing". She said, then you might as well stay home, that's all you did last night.

tckinney951 Joined Wed 03/12/14 Posts: 10	Sun 03/30/14 07:58 PM
you did the right thing it looks to me like you were a backup for him he was just keeping enough contact so you didn't tell him to f off he probably got dumped a few days earlier and was using you to make himself feel better.... his loss not yours I am a guy but I also am raising my 2 daughters on my own so I look at things different than any other guy does and in all honesty guys a a$$holes and for the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me and that's why I couldn't find someone but it wasn't it was that so man men have screwed over women that even the truly decent guys cant even get there foot in the door. but you handled it correctly don't let a man use you but remember that there are good guys out there just look for the signs of him being an a$$. I don't know if this helped but I hope it did you can message me to chat about it if you would like

mightymoe Joined Sun 11/19/06 Posts: 37362	Sun 03/30/14 08:17 PM
Sounds like you're just being a good friend. It's HIM that's crossing the line, getting his wires crossed. At the moment, there's some guy trying to be in my face all of the time, but he has a gf, so I can't keep pandering to him. The woman he types about is his woman, not me. I'll never understand the way some go on. I think he may have a tiny [?] crush on you. i don't think he has a crush on her, if he did, he would try harder to be with her... he just wants sex...

regularfeller Joined Sat 11/10/12 Posts: 2394	Tue 04/01/14 08:41 PM
i think the KEY POINT you are missing is that he is not a "chick friend". that is all - carry on.

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Tue 04/01/14 10:44 PM
I agree with Moe I think he just wants sex or he would be trying much harder to have a relationship with you When I invite a woman over to my place I clean up , I wear comfortable clothes, clean my house,put something on the grill, and have long conversations. Having on old ripped up clothes like you wear when your buddies are over is not putting in my effort.If he is interested in you he would be romancing you.

jamesjarret Joined Wed 04/02/14 Posts: 3	Wed 04/02/14 01:16 AM
you did not go wrong in any way. The dude has to deal with his issues and be able to articulate his feelings. If you get the wrong vibes then it must be wrong. Baby follow your hrt,it will always tell you the truth. Cheers!

royalpythonpapa Joined Sat 03/29/14 Posts: 1	Fri 04/04/14 08:29 AM
No one likes to be pre judged or blamed for someone elses bad behaviour! If I don't trust or like you, it's YOU ,I don't trust or like. Here's my confusion: I have a friend that I've known for roughly 2 years, we used to date, but he was going through something at the time so I moved on from him. Well, he reconnected with me last month. I consider him a friend at this point but even that is hanging by a thread. He has this " thing" about labeling him or " judging" him. He never calls , justs texts and even that is just " Good Morning" I try to have some type of conversation, he never really says anything. Ok.. I don't care he's just a friend. Right? Then, he sends a text.. " Hey, I thought we were going to hang out" Ok, again , he's a friend.. I go to his place to watch TV, drink a beer... like I would any " chick" friend. He wants me to cuddle with him... So OBVIOUSLY, I draw the line! I blow up... Damn, you men! It's all you think about! Then, He blows up, " Don't put me in a box" WTF? You are acting like a caveman... and I'm not to put you in a caveman box? Can someone tell me where I went wrong? Did I miss a signal? FYI- this dude was wearing a ripped to shreds teee shirt and pajama bottoms when I can over! It's not like he was dressed to impressed! Ladies, you answer as well, have I been out of the game so long, I'm missing key points? Clearly there isn't enough time and space here for you to include all the background upto reaching this point. However, you say you did date this guy if only for a short period of time some years ago but you moved on and then he reconnected with you a month ago. Well maybe what you saw as renewed friendship he has seen as picking up where you both left off, that is the previous dating relationship two years ago, so I cannot blame him entirely for his coming on to you. Unless you made it absolutely crystal clear to him when he reconnected with you that it would never be any more than friendship he is not entirely to blame in my opinion. Sorry but guys are not mind readers, and unfortunately some guys just have to have it spelt out to them. He certainly did not show any respect for you in what seemingly he at least thought was a date by his tatty clothes. I think there was confusion on both sides here, he was dating and you weren't and I would not judge him too severely. If he did not know the state of play before he certanly does now!! So if you wanted to remain friends with this guy I suspect he would not act the same way again, but after such a bad experience it might be difficult for you to maintain any kind of friendship with him, only you really know the guy. This is just my opinion. This is also, what I was thinking , Duttoneer! Except, I never gave any indictaion of " Let's rekindle what we had" vibe. He texted Good Morning, I texted Good Morning... I mimicked what He did so there would be no misunderstanding! I hadn't texted him in over a week before he did this, let's cuddle move! I was busy and I assumed he was too, or else he would have texted me sooner. I think he thought , since I'm not seeing anyone and he isn't seeing anyone it would be ok, because we're both lonely. If he would have talked with me on the phone he would know, I HAVE A HOUSEFULL OF PEOPLE EVERYDAY!! I have the hang out house of my family! He would know that... if he'd have called to ask a few questions, and gotten to know me better!

johnjohn492 Joined Sun 04/06/14 Posts: 3	Tue 04/08/14 11:19 PM
You should put men in the caveman box. We are. Most people go wrong by trying to overly complicate a man's motives. Dave Chappel said it well, "Shut up, suck his dick, rub his balls a little, and make him a sandwich." Simple. Your friend probably just thought he could get some from you with minimal effort. Good for you for not giving in that easy and making a person respect you enough to put forth a little effort.