Hello! I'm new here...just wanted opinions of other single parents on how to handle this situation :-)
I've been separated from my husband of 15 years for about 7 months. He told me he had met someone and started seeing her before he had even officially moved out. We have 4 kids, ages 15, 14, 12 and 7. They were devastated and wanted nothing to do with his girlfriend even though he was pushing them to meet her after only a couple of weeks of moving out. that relationship ended after a few months. A couple of weeks later...he had a new girlfriend. He hardly sees his kids at all, popping in only when its convenient for him. He doesn't show up when he says he will,and so far had paid zero child support. Basically, the kids are still getting used to the idea of him not living here, and obviously to the fact that he is on his second girlfriend in 7 months. Just wondering what others think is an appropriate amount of time before introducing a new partner? I'm uncomfortable with the idea right now, I don't feel its appropriate to introduce your kids to someone you've only been seeing for a couple of months. His girlfriend has 5 kids under the age of 9. She has allowed him to stay overnight there since day one..and that blows my mind.Am I completely wrong to think its inappropriate when there are kids involved??

Hi, and welcome!

I have two young children and have been single (aka not with their dad) for two years. During that time I have dated a fair amount, with my longest relationship lasting about five months. My kids have not met anyone I've dated.

For me personally, unless my partner and I are ready to make a very serious commitment to each other, and decide that we are in it for the long haul, my sons don't need to meet the women I date. It's one thing for me to put myself out there and potentially get hurt, but I don't need my sons to get their hearts broken every time something doesn't work out; and I DEFINITELY don't want them looking back on their childhood and remembering a series of step-mom figures coming in and out of their lives.

I realize that I seem kind of extreme in this, and that these rules of mine seem like overkill to a lot of people. The woman I dated for five months always had a problem with it, said that if I was really serious about seeing where things could go with us, I would introduce her to my kids. And while I understand that you do need to introduce them when both parties are ready to make a commitment so you can see how the kids get on with your significant other, for me, I want to make sure my relationship with that person is as rock solid as possible before bringing my kids into it.

It's hard because I am a pretty go-with-the-flow type of gal, and not one to be huge into rules and boundaries, and women who date me seem to be drawn to that. It can be hard to understand that I need these boundaries where my kids are concerned. Bottom line is, there are no guarantees in relationships. I could take all these precautions, start dating someone I think is the love of my life, and a few years from now have it not work out and have my kids get hurt anyway. But at least I will have known I've done everything I can to prevent it, and as parents, that's all we can do.

Good luck to you!!!

I use to think I would have to date the person and see if it was going to be something more then that before introducing to my child ...
and would never bring them to our home ... after divorce & my daughter living with me ... and I would not want to meet their children either until we thought it would grow into a loving relationship ... thats how I kept it when I was living with my child ... but did not find that kind of relationship with any one anyway then... always work and her was thought about more... but one day she was getting ready to come back home from school I think and my GF was there so she portended to be a guy ...my daughter freaked out on the phone.. how that is my house... where do u get off bringing a man to our house with out telling me first lmao turned out it was a gotcha hahah ... and really did not think she would freak out that much ... so if u have children take it slow ... and if u think u might want to have more with someone don't take them home right away always take them out for awhile so they can get to know the Persons better and feel more comfortable for everyone ...

Humm myself I never let my kids meet anyone I'm dating for at least 2-3 months and still the same way today... Even though my kids are grown with kids....

The reason for that is normally if they last that long you might want to keep them around...

I see no reason to introduce kids to a partner till you have dated them for a bit first...