having kids is a huge plus ?
be eco-friendly and encourage birth control ... start by not dating men with kids , that would make others reconsider about having kids

Hi,
you list smoking, no children, no ltr, recovery and being different than most men.
we are all different in one way or another. every one has different ideas of what they hope for in their life partner.
my first thought to you is be comfortable with yourself. only when you are good with yourself can you be anything for anyone else.
for many people. most of what you listed is not an issue.
the recovering addict part can be a bigger hurdle especially for anyone who has never been there themselves.
it doesn't make a relationship impossible, but it takes a strong person to be with you in it because each day is a challenge.
know who you are and what you want from yourself. take the time to be comfortable with that. then go from there. wish you all the best

Sounds like excuses to me. I have some of the same traits, but I am trying to better myself, yes I smoke but I am quitting. As for an addict I can say nothing. I have no children, and the last long term relationship I was in lasted 3 years and that was 7 years ago.

I didn't say having kids was a plus... I can see how it could be read that way, though. I meant that for some women, men with no children is a plus.

you could say the same for a women that smokes not to many men would want to except that ... but their are some who don't care at all...


your a recovering addict might get in the way of some but recovering from what ... which some may be able to except ...



your young having no kids is good to some girls or women ...
feeling like they have to compete with your love & time if you had children


long term relationship ... if that had anything to do with being a addict ... could understand that you could not make a commitment to them because of ... wanting to be a addict more or may not have met the person right for you yet ...


I am with some of the others... your young yet... stay clean and just maybe the right person will come along ... if that is what you really are looking for ...
Good Luck ...

My friend, I wish you all the luck in the world.

Don't ever be ashamed of being an addict, it is simply an illness, just like any other illness. There are some who would say that an addiction is self inflicted, but I don't agree.
Most addicts just feel the sadness from the ills of this world more than most of us and so they turn to drink or drugs to forget it all.

Good luck

Thanks for the insights. Maybe they are excuses,but they are also all reasons relationships I've had failed.

For some reason I seem to be attracted to mothers unintentionally. It may be because they generally have what I'm looking for in a woman.

I appreciate those saying I'm still young, but Im getting older. lol

Totage; I hate when people saying these are excuses. Fact is people do not know what you have been through or what has been said to you. I know how it feels when guys say; I am used to dating a prettier woman, or you must be selfish if you never had a kid, or I can't be with a woman that has knowledge. These aren't excuses as they are things said to me and after a while; you tend to believe that indeed these are reasons others don't want to date you. Even if no one else here understands what you are going through; I am here to tell you that I sure do.

I think you are being to hard on yourself. Everyone has ghosts in their in their pasts. The important thing is what are you now, have you conquered your demon, are you happy with yourself and your life? Who cares what some people deem you. Your young, handsome, and its obvious your smart.Let the past go have fun, start all over again and good luck to you sir.

when I read your original post, I didn't see it as you making excuses, but rather as hearing what's been said to you.
it takes courage to put yourself out there the way you did. that's an admirable trait.
I believe there is someone for every one. have patience and faith.