does it seem like we actually 'chose' our emotion in relationships?

when we are committed to being 'in love' , we stick to everything that is wonderful and focus on it,, while overlooking the little flaws

and once we commit to no longer being in love, we stick to all the little flaws and overlook anything that was wonderful?


perhaps the key to a successful relationship is just choosing what to commit to? whatdya think?

(Im not talking about extremes where one is physically or emotionally abusive to the point of putting us in danger)

hmmm.... seems like a question of whether we tend to use our minds or our hearts...

i think it's very difficult to choose our emotions, they just tend to pop up... however, controlling them is another matter... darn difficult, but possible...

i think it's not a matter of choosing as to which of our own emotion we should commit to, since a commitment encompasses more than just emotions... and to commit oneself to a particular emotion can be quite dangerous...

as for a successful relationship... well, i don't think there is a real formula to determine that...but having love is a great big part of it... not being "in love", but "having love" for each other enough to work out the imperfections...

did i make sense enough to answer the questions?

That is absolutely true. Emotions are a response, to an event, object or person, you can channel that response into the emotional category you choose.

Be nice if emotions were just "mind over matter"...But wouldn't they have to be renamed or something? ...I get the "rose colored glasses part", but I have committed to ending relationships based on reasons that had nothing to do with dying love (emotion)...I still saw the wonderful stuff and it quadrupled my pain...I say the heart has a mind of its own and we are stuck with it...

The heart and mind go back and forth a lot.