1 3 Next
Topic: If asked what can u sacrifice for your perfect match
no photo
Wed 06/03/15 02:00 PM



Hmmm...somehow, reading thru the answers on this thread...is depressing..
Here I thought relationships were all about give and take...sacrificing something doesnt necessarily mean losing yourself or acting like a martyr...its suppose to be about adjusting, giving way and being able to empathize with another's need and build each other up by small or great acts of selflessness...it is not demanded from someone..it is freely given out of love, care and respect.
Well, that is my opinion on the matter...


I agree Pansy!flowers ...For the perfect match?...Whatever I could, whenever he needed it...I watched my parents do this for 67 years...It was a beautiful story....:heart:

Really? I mean, that's quite something. How far would you go? That's basically what the OP is asking?
What you're saying is very open and suggest you'd go very far. Does it include changing behaviour, haircut, clothes, friends? Giving up hobbies? Pets? Putting up with whatever he wants or does?
Because in a way, that's what you're saying, and I doubt very much you would or could - or that that is what you mean to say.
Maybe I'm nitpicking on words :tongue:

To me a perfect match to me is more that you may have to compromise, not sacrifice. A sacrifice is something or someone that means a helluva lot to you. And it means that much for a reason.
And with a perfect match, I can also say "No". I would never say I'd be willing to sacrifice whatever I could, whenever he wanted it. Sod that!

flowerforyou


Just like I said, whatever I could, could being the operative word:wink: .....For me one of the primary components of a perfect match is when each person puts the other person's NEEDS 'NOT NECESSARILY WANTS' ahead of his or her own and if there are children both partners put their needs first...When this happens balance becomes a given...I feel certain that in a perfect match, which is what the OP is referring to, most of the specifics you mention would not be a concern, let alone an issue...The question asked was not what would you put up with, it was what or how much would you sacrifice for a perfect match...I think some of us (me) are looking at it as being in a relationship with the person you consider to be your perfect match and some of us (you?) are looking at the question as, "What would you sacrifice to turn an imperfectly matched relationship into a perfectly matched one?"...Even some of the things on your list I would easily sacrifice if I thought it meant that much to him...If I had a pet I loved and my man developed allergies I could see myself being willing to find a good home for my pet rather than expecting him to medicate and/or "just deal with it"...Same would apply if we hit a financial crunch and needed to eliminate the expense of owing a pet or indulging in a hobby...I think sacrifice is a necessary part of life and that includes any and all sacrifices I might make to protect and preserve my relationship if that is what I wanted to do...flowerforyou

JustScribbles's photo
Wed 06/03/15 02:20 PM
Both Pansy and Leigh's posts resonate with me. This topic is similar to another 'What would you give up for...' and in that one, I answered 'nothing.'

The posts Leigh and PT put up here made me rethink that some.

Had I been thinking instead of just responding, I'd have said, 'I'll sacrifice anything which doesn't violate my core values.'

Flexibility is a really valuable trait in general, and even more valuable in a relationship. 'My way or the highway' rubs MY fur the wrong way; It'd be just stupid to expect something different from someone I chose to share my life with.

Learn something new every day. Thanks, Leigh and PT. flowerforyou

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 06/03/15 02:22 PM
If asked what can u sacrifice for your perfect match ...


There is no such thing as a perfect match in a relationship.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 06/04/15 04:46 AM


If asked what can u sacrifice for your perfect match, common guys n gals, men and women show to the mingle worked what u can be up to for your perfect match/soulmate


If he is a perfect match, I wouldn't need to sacrifice something...true?


That answers this for me, too.

Plus, I've been through the whole "make sacrifices for each other" game, and I learned the very hard and painful way, that the way to INSURE that a relationship drags you through hell, is to think you have to "make sacrifices" to keep it or make it work.

Here's the key: if it feels like a SACRIFICE to you, don't do it. You will only be planting seeds of resentment inside yourself.

If instead, you are surprised to feel ONLY the pleasure of seeing your loved one happy, such that you barely notice that you are changing, then things might work out for you.

no photo
Thu 06/04/15 07:20 PM
"What would you sacrifice to turn an imperfectly matched relationship into a perfectly matched one?"...Even some of the things on your list I would easily sacrifice if I thought it meant that much to him...If I had a pet I loved and my man developed allergies I could see myself being willing to find a good home for my pet rather than expecting him to medicate and/or "just deal with it"...


Woman, you obviously never owned a pet. The man goes.

1 3 Next