I've been separated for almost 4 years. I'm open minded and outspoken at work and in public, yet i am timid when i see someone i like. It seems i make everyone laugh as i have a great sense of humor. I see guys every day with pretty ladies. I just wonder..... "Why not me"??

Could be a number of things. However, being separated and timid isn't helping...

I believe in perfect timing, in a perfect place with the perfect person. :) Good luck!

perfection doesn't exist, and if your waiting for timing, your cutting the probability of finding someone by about 80%... meaning that if your not in the exact right place at the exact right time, it won't happen...

Maybe it's just me. LOL

no blame intended, just saying it's really a numbers type deal, the more people you meet, the better chances of finding the one thats right (or closest to it) for you...

your very pretty and seem to have a great attitude, you shouldn't have to have a hard time in finding a great guy...

I understand your point. But truth be told, I am having a hard time finding a guy. But thanks, had a little boost on my ego. LOL

hang in there, you're young and have plenty of time... i'm sure you'll be just fine!

Maybe you have social anxiety. Don't quote me on it. It's just maybe.

i think thats somewhat true... it's kinda hard to explain, but the more beautiful women that people like me and him see, the harder it is to try to talk with them, for some reason... kind of like giving up before we even try...

Beauty usually means they are a big pain in the butt.. Shows nothing about the kind of person they are.

yes, most are... but also the hotter they are, the more other guys are hitting on them, too... they have way more options than i do, so there is always the question why would they want to be with me when they have a choice of just about anyone they want to be with...

Separated as in not yet divorced?
Or you had a girlfriend and you've been separated?
Sometimes the wording isn't clear here.


What do you mean?
You said yourself "I've been separated..."
You had what they had.

There is absolutely no evidence that they don't start their "almost 4 years" separated the day after you see the guys with pretty ladies.


Learn more about the human body.
There is a reason this affects men so much more than women.
It's mostly biological rather than social.
And it's not really "timidness" per se unless you really have some kind of disorder.

Your brain, like all male brains, gets overloaded with hormones and chemicals and over focuses on mating.
That takes away from a lot of other cognitive functions like memory, and rational logical thought.
You have to consciously drag it back into a semblance of normalcy for social interaction.

The more you actually interact with "pretty ladies" the easier it becomes.


If that were true, everyone would be on a China dating site.

It's really a get over yourself and your fears and do something about it directly because the universe won't hand you someone type deal.

Because you are you. The easiest answer You never know what the other one is looking for so it�s worth of try. Besides you look pretty good

But I understand it, I have similar problem. It�s just about the confidence, when I am interested in someone I start looking for reasons why he wouldn�t want to be with me instead on holding up on reasons why he should. Normally I am confident enough but when it comes to these situations I�m against myself. But improving in better way, lol

well, in my defense, i should clarify that it's not just extremely beautiful women, but mainly women i feel that could be the "one" for me... the closer i feel she is to that, the harder it is for me to date her... seems like I'm cutting my own throat there...

and thank you for the compliment, that's very sweet of you!

every woman I have ever met is because.. I was at the right time at the right place.... .. well that and I had the extra hundred fifty dollars burning a hole in my pocket..lol

My last girlfriend was Spanish and very beautiful. Let's call her "C"... But she lived with guilt, and that was one thing I couldn't help her with. She spent years running from her guilt. She ran from me, 1200 miles away.
A year later, my friend moved in for a few weeks to take care of me after surgery. Lets call her "K". K had 2 girls. A week later, my girlfriend C came back. I told her that a girl was staying with me for just a few weeks. During this time, K found out her 4 year old was being molested, and I let her and the girls stay until the investigation started. She was there only a month until she found a safe place. In the mean time C started dating someone else. I never told her the truth, that I was protecting a child. I told her that I hoped she was happy.

life's rough all over, huh... sometimes things just work out the way they do...

"theseacoast said"

why he wouldn�t want to be with me instead on holding up on reasons why he should.

This is so interesting, and i never thought about this. A few years ago, i lost someone so close to my heart,and it made me very passive. I'm still outspoken, but it took some of the fire out of me. I was adopting a child but she passed away at 14 weeks

I'm very protective when it comes to children.