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Topic: Am I too broken to be fixed
JENNSBABY77's photo
Sat 10/13/07 10:59 AM
I know most of you just pass my forums by, but if you can help me please stop and leave a comment. First of all I want to say I have been fighting this fear since the day I met my Fiance and I need help it sometimes gets out of hand and jen has tried, but it seems like nothing can get through all of the hurt inside of me how do you fight the fear that you might loose the woman you love to someone else. I look out into the world and all I see is so many people giving up on love and it makes me sad and makes me wonder will I be the next and the more jen tries to get through to me the more the pain inside of me won't let it in. I Love jennifer with all of my heart and this site scares me because I know some of the men on this site could walk up and say their better and it makes me feel Like i have to prove I'm more of a man them they are and I don'tlike doing that, I'm just me a caring, loving, loyal, faithful and wonderful guy that wants to spend the rest of his life with one woman and one woman only can someone please point me in the right direction so I know how to get through this I know most of you have probally been where I am too. I will say this before I close I trust Jennifer it's just all that I have been through and have seen others go through has put me in a shell and I can't find the way out.

no photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:04 AM
give me a break, you r just jealous, insecure, and have very low self-esteem, get over it, if it's meant to be it is.

midnightvelvet's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:04 AM
First and foremost you must be secure in your relationship. Have faith in Jennifer's feelings for you and yours for her. If the feelings are not true or worst yet not even there...there is nothing that you can do to keep her from leaving. WHATVER YOU DO DON'T GO INTO A CONTROL MODE!! This would be deadly to your relationship. If you trust her, not a single man here can woe her to their corner and away from you.....Trust!!

sane_one's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:06 AM
I hate to say it but your insecurities are ruling your life. You just need to step back and be who you are ,not try to compete with every other guy on the planet. Let the cards fall where they may, in the end regardless of the outcome you will be stronger for it.

JENNSBABY77's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:06 AM
I wont Im not that kind of man

trustingfate's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:07 AM
If you care as much as you say, give into that fear. Bowing down to the knowledge that we may be hurt and giving all of ourselves is the only way to conquer it. If you love her, give into the fear, and do it before it's to late...I learned this truth to late to save my heart. Don't let the knowledge that you are at fualt be the thing that cures you...it's worse than the pain of loss. Break the shell, it only kills you.

QwicherBytchin's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:07 AM
Seek professional therapy.

beccalee1980's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:08 AM
i can totally relate to that, since the break-up of my marriage and my divorce, i carry those insecurities around with me on a daily basis. sometimes it can eat you up inside if u let it. you don't have to prove anything to her, if she agreed to marry you, she doesn't need any proof that you are any better than any of the other guys out there, she has agreed to spend her life with you, and that really means something. have you tried talking to her about your insecurities? i don't know you, but it seems she is very lucky to have you, and i am sure she realizes that too. just don't let it get the best of you. time will heal all wounds, just make sure you don't push her away. she is there for you, let her be there for u. let her help you through this. you have to let your guard down, i know it is really hard given the way people so casually throw away good relationships. but u need to trust her. that's just my two cents, and i hope it helps. best of luck to you.
Becca

heatherrae's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:09 AM
you are devaluing her but refusing to trust her. you think that any man that gets on here and shows off his peacock feathers is gonna make her run away with him then you must not think very highly of her or her love for you.

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:11 AM
Well what kind of MAN are you?

And ya .. if you look inside yourself, no hon .. you don't trust her.

It's easy to get this way if you've been burned a lot, but get help .. like *****in said :wink:

BornInTheUSA's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:12 AM
Here's a tip - get a grip. Turn off the computer and live in the real world. If she loves you, and you love her, FOCUS on her and nothing else. Attention, care and love wins - compliments are a dime a dozen. Get real (and I mean that in a nice way)

MiSSLiNDS's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:12 AM
LiFE HAPPENS. i BELiEVE THAT EVERYTHiNG HAPPENS FOR A REASON. i KNOW THAT PAST RELATiONSHiPS [[LESSONS]] MAKE iT HARDER FOR THE NEW RELATiONSHiPS. EVERYONE WiLL, AT SOME POiNT, BLAME A NEW LOVE FOR SOMETHiNG AN OLD LOVE DiD. BUT iN THE END iT'S TRULY ABOUT WHAT MAKES YOU STRONGER. THOSE RELATiONSHiPS iN THE PAST HAPPENED SO YOU COULD BECOME STRONGER AND LEARN NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MiSTAKES. JUST DON'T PUSH JEN AWAY BY NOT LETTiNG HER iN..

TheShadow's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:15 AM
2much4u it's fine to give ones opinion but to be so blunt when someone is actually asking for help is not cool. I'm not trying to start anything up but there is going to be a time when you need help and you might post something and it will happen to you. Think before you reply when someone is actually hurting


JENNSBABY it start with you. you already said what the problem is and that is a start. Also you said you trust trust her. if so then let her be who she is and that it's self will show you where things might go.


no photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:20 AM
the shadow, sorry if I was too blunt for you, but that is just the way i am, I could of lighten it up, but what's the point? I don't have time to put pretty words on everything I say.

no photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:22 AM
sorry if i offended u jenns, in any way, I was just speaking my opinion

singingmyheartout's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:26 AM
LOVE= taking a leap of faith and coming out of it perfectly wonderful.

It's like religion... none of us has ever SEEN God, but we know He is there.

Jen chose you... above all others. She agreed to marry YOU.
That should be enough.

Also- just remember, if you hold a handful of sand with a tight fist, it will all escape through your fingers. But if you hold it with an open palm, it stays.

We have all had our shares of misfortune... but there is someone for everyone. None of us can predict the future... so to worry about what is to come is not necessary.

Take your lady love by her had, and take that leap of faith together...

Good luck.flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

grannithands's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:26 AM
If the person your with,feels you cant trust them its the begenning of the end.Jealousy is a relationship killer.Jealous people do stupid thingssad you ned to to work on your jealousy,or you will drive her away(you wont have to worry about other men).If she is worth having and she loves you,she wont even notice other guys.so the ball is in your court.Dont fu*k it up.

pkh's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:26 AM
You have to love and believe in yourself no woman can do that for you...if you don't have communication and trust I don't see how it can work..but I wish you the best

s1owhand's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:30 AM
i agree with the suggestion that you get some counseling.
overcoming distrust can be a serious challenge and it
should be treated seriously. she will respect you for the
effort. but if you must agree on how you want to treat
each other eventually.

start by being kind and understanding.

Desertfox1962's photo
Sat 10/13/07 11:31 AM
From one man to another, STOP IT !!!! Live each day as a new day and appreciate what is in front of you instead of whats behind or lurking ahead. Enjoy each moment you have with your woman and treat her as the queen she is to you and it will come back to you 10 fold. Life is way to short to live in fear and insecurity. My best advice is to see counseling, get a grip on your emotions and love Jen the way she loves you. You have to know by now by acting this way it wont be another man taking her from you, it will be YOU pushing her away from you.

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