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Topic: people who are divorced/seperated
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 08/28/15 07:31 AM

There is so much to be said for meeting men when they are still young and hopeful and fresh and think that they have their whole life ahead of them. Most men my age have been through the trials and tribulations and the pain and heartache of divorce. Most of these men are emotionally scarred and emotionally unavailable or just plain bitter. I would prefer to meet men who are still hopeful and alive and open to love but I would end up with men half my age which I do not want or find stimulating on a mental and intellectual level. Unless I find a unicorn -- an attractive, successful, emotionally healthy man who is my age and still hasn't been married -- it is going to be harder and harder to find my true love the older I get. This is why it's important to get them when one is young. The pickings become slim the older we get.

The thing to take away from all this is to count our blessings. Many of you at least got your spouses when you were still young and fresh. Many of you got beautiful children and even grandchildren out of it, even if the relationship didn't last. You had some good years together. For a single middle aged woman who has never been married and still doesn't even have children, when most people around me are already on their grandchildren, I feel like I have missed out on so much. It is really making my heart ache that I don't have a man to love. It is depressing to me that I don't have children. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side.

The bold part is SO true! I got the same problem. Most men don't work through their issues like most women do do.
I'm currently thinking that maybe I should open up to the possibility of finding a younger man for a relationship. Someone mid / end thirties. They still seem to have some 'bounce' in them whereas men more our age seem to have lost that.
There's a lot of men in their 60s that have a healthy positive outlook on life (again?), but I don't want a man who's that much older.
Men more our age that do have a healthy outlook are either in a relationship looking for something on the side, or want a much younger woman, as in someone in their 20s.

And yeah, I have children whereas you don't. But that doesn't make the desire for a (suitable, quality) partner any less.
Sometimes I think well-rounded women like us are simply doomed. But I keep hope that there is something I can do myself to find that quality guy. I flatly refuse to believe that I won't find the right one for me.
I don't mean to be judgemental, but I see so many less well-rounded and less attractive women finding really great guys, getting married and all. Also around our age. So it's got to be something we aren't doing. Christ knows what though ...

isaac_dede's photo
Fri 08/28/15 09:10 AM

I understand when abuse (verbal or physical) comes into play and having to end a marriage. But what about when that isn't the case, you don't really fight or argue, you sleep every night in the same bed. To the world, you seem like a perfect couple, but behind closed doors you have become roommates. No intimacy, maybe a good bye peck on the check at best.

there is a book that deals directly with this type of scenario, I've recommended it before and will continue to do so...it's that good. it's called

"the married guy's sex-life primer" by Athol Kay, now its not some 'self-help' book. it mainly deals with the biology of attraction, personally I think its a book EVERY man should read whether single or married. if interested you can get the pdf for free by searching online

no photo
Fri 08/28/15 10:47 AM


I understand when abuse (verbal or physical) comes into play and having to end a marriage. But what about when that isn't the case, you don't really fight or argue, you sleep every night in the same bed. To the world, you seem like a perfect couple, but behind closed doors you have become roommates. No intimacy, maybe a good bye peck on the check at best.

there is a book that deals directly with this type of scenario, I've recommended it before and will continue to do so...it's that good. it's called

"the married guy's sex-life primer" by Athol Kay, now its not some 'self-help' book. it mainly deals with the biology of attraction, personally I think its a book EVERY man should read whether single or married. if interested you can get the pdf for free by searching online


Thank you for that recommendation Isaac flowerforyou

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