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| Topic: people who are divorced/seperated | |
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The core ingredients necessary from both parties are commitment and trust. Lose either of those from either person and it's over. I agree. spot on. when the trust has gone to me there's nothing. Yeah, some people say you can rebuild it, but I'm not convinced. I think something has changed fundamentally and what you had can't be regained. You may salvage the relationship, but the trajectory will be different. I would think for people who did rebuild it that things are never quite the same. for me personally, when the trust is gone its gone and I have in some cases tried to rebuild it but it never felt the same and I think because of fear, so now if I meet a man and he breaks that trust I don't bother to try and rebuild it, for me it just doesn't work. if I was married I would probably think differently. its easier in my case to just walk away because no commitments have been made. |
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myriad of things that affect a marriage how couple feels about having children, the number of children, how close together they are in age religious beliefs loss of a job how many times the couple moves illness finances in-laws whether or not they are dual income couple education levels income levels where they live..if it's in a large city or rural area... their beliefs on parenting styles their communication style holy crapola I have taken over this page sorry Debbie did not mean to..once I get going sometimes  no you haven't, carry on, your posts are very interesting and im enjoying reading them. thank you. |
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The core ingredients necessary from both parties are commitment and trust. Lose either of those from either person and it's over. I agree. spot on. when the trust has gone to me there's nothing. Yeah, some people say you can rebuild it, but I'm not convinced. I think something has changed fundamentally and what you had can't be regained. You may salvage the relationship, but the trajectory will be different. I would think for people who did rebuild it that things are never quite the same. for me personally, when the trust is gone its gone and I have in some cases tried to rebuild it but it never felt the same and I think because of fear, so now if I meet a man and he breaks that trust I don't bother to try and rebuild it, for me it just doesn't work. if I was married I would probably think differently. its easier in my case to just walk away because no commitments have been made. Yes this is one aspect, but you can also lose your trust in the concept of commitment. Say someone throws themselves into a relationship, committs with all their heart. Does the dutiful spouse and parent, compromises and tries everything to make it work. Then, in the end, it still fails. A trust has been broken, a trust in the idea of commitment. How do you regain that trust? No relationship can be the same unless some trust in the idea of commitment can be rebuilt. |
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Edited by
karen309
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Sun 08/09/15 12:32 PM
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What do you think of a guy who is on his 3rd marriage and says I don't want to be married but an open relationship would work. Then we go our separate ways finds another women who doesn't care he is married and he starts the same MO with her..happy, I love you's, honeymoon stage..BUT does not want to ever live with her and will never get married to this girl..BUT wants to stay good friends with me ..always saying it's a fwb but right now he is happy..but she constantly call him her boyfriend and honestly think she will get more out of this....hmm..just want to get some opinions/suggestions
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The core ingredients necessary from both parties are commitment and trust. Lose either of those from either person and it's over. I agree. spot on. when the trust has gone to me there's nothing. Yeah, some people say you can rebuild it, but I'm not convinced. I think something has changed fundamentally and what you had can't be regained. You may salvage the relationship, but the trajectory will be different. I would think for people who did rebuild it that things are never quite the same. for me personally, when the trust is gone its gone and I have in some cases tried to rebuild it but it never felt the same and I think because of fear, so now if I meet a man and he breaks that trust I don't bother to try and rebuild it, for me it just doesn't work. if I was married I would probably think differently. its easier in my case to just walk away because no commitments have been made. Yes this is one aspect, but you can also lose your trust in the concept of commitment. Say someone throws themselves into a relationship, committs with all their heart. Does the dutiful spouse and parent, compromises and tries everything to make it work. Then, in the end, it still fails. A trust has been broken, a trust in the idea of commitment. How do you regain that trust? No relationship can be the same unless some trust in the idea of commitment can be rebuilt. well that's tough, i guess some can and some can't. |
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What do you think of a guy who is on his 3rd marriage and says I don't want to be married but an open relationship would work. Then we go our separate ways finds another women who doesn't care he is married and he starts the same MO with her..happy, I love you's, honeymoon stage..BUT does not want to ever live with her and will never get married to this girl..BUT wants to stay good friends with me ..always saying it's a fwb but right now he is happy..but she constantly call him her boyfriend and honestly think she will get more out of this....hmm..just want to get some opinions/suggestions you may want to start your own thread for that, im sure more people will give you opinions that way. 
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What do you think of a guy who is on his 3rd marriage and says I don't want to be married but an open relationship would work. Then we go our separate ways finds another women who doesn't care he is married and he starts the same MO with her..happy, I love you's, honeymoon stage..BUT does not want to ever live with her and will never get married to this girl..BUT wants to stay good friends with me ..always saying it's a fwb but right now he is happy..but she constantly call him her boyfriend and honestly think she will get more out of this....hmm..just want to get some opinions/suggestions |
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What do you think of a guy who is on his 3rd marriage and says I don't want to be married but an open relationship would work. Then we go our separate ways finds another women who doesn't care he is married and he starts the same MO with her..happy, I love you's, honeymoon stage..BUT does not want to ever live with her and will never get married to this girl..BUT wants to stay good friends with me ..always saying it's a fwb but right now he is happy..but she constantly call him her boyfriend and honestly think she will get more out of this....hmm..just want to get some opinions/suggestions he is married and in an open marriage arrangement with his spouse? meaning she is aware he has other partners? he is playing the field and may be one of those who are hooked on the initial falling in love phase of a relationship or he may just be a manipulator and good at saying what women like to hear |
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What do I think of a man on his third marriage blah blah? I think that according to your story, he's having a ton of fun.
You seem to be disquieted by his choices. So, don't hang around with him. Life is far too short to spend any of it staring fixedly at something you don't like. |
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Edited by
NorCalSwe
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Sun 08/09/15 12:55 PM
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What do I think of a man on his third marriage blah blah? I think that according to your story, he's having a ton of fun. You seem to be disquieted by his choices. So, don't hang around with him. Life is far too short to spend any of it staring fixedly at something you don't like. Yep, I always say "Life is too short and you only get one go". It is amazing how much chit you won't put up with once you make that realization.
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thanks to everyone who posted regarding my topic.
I admire the honesty.
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hello dearest
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Hello
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Hello
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with my first marriage, if we had continued to pray together and surround ourself more with those trying to live right,,,we could have been a heck of a team and our kids much better off for having a mother and father committed to each other and their family
there was nothing to save my second marriage, we had no real substance on which to build a life and should have never married,,,,or been together beyond cyber pals... |
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when you look back do you think if ''I'' did something different it would have possibly worked? I would think its more likely if ''WE'' did something different it would have worked, but even so in some situations nothing you or both of you did would have made it work. for example, just falling out of love. you cant control that it just happens and there's nothing either of you could have done to save the marriage. thank you.  No I don't believe anything would have changed the outcome for us. I spoke Greek he spoke hebrew so to speak. We came from opposite ends of the spectrum and tried to make it work...That is why I tell my female friends it is great to date the proverbial bad boy just don't be stupid and marry them... |
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What about those separated ladies.
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I need a woman who will love me and get married to me
I'm a USA army officer |
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What about those separated ladies. I did also say separated on the thread title.
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I need a woman who will love me and get married to me I'm a USA army officer and widowed, so sorry for your loss.
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