this is hard to do. yesterday was one year from when my youngest son David killed him self. my x-wife is having a hard time with it. and my oldest son Jeffery, called me yesterday and we talked about it. and this was good for both of us. and have had other heavy duty family issues. and i have some great people helping me. my very good friend Donna i have known her 12 years. and most of all is my cousin Brenda has supported me better than i deserve. so as all ways God is working in my life. i just have to lesson to him.

I hope the blessing keep coming for you. And I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

This must be so hard for you and I so thankful that you have some great friends that will hold you up and help you through this..
Prayers for you

It seems you are getting the support you need, I hope.
I know when my first husband died I wanted to talk about him all the time to keep him alive and to remember him. But people give you the 'move on look'.
What was he like?

That is very hard to post. Just make sure you and your family are there for each other. No words can ease your suffering. The sorrow will remain with you forever. I honestly can't say the pain gets any better; although you eventually find a place in your mind to tuck it away.

Try to focus on the living and enjoy life.

My thoughts are with you.

It is very courageous of you to put it in writing sir.
And I hope in a way it lessens the pain of commemorating your loss
of that special someone.
People always say that feeling your pain and sharing it with someone special too helps more than a lot..and I think you have exactly done that.
Kudos.
But forgive your youngest son for leaving you and making you go thru all that pain, forgive yourself, that you were not able to help him in the end.
Forgive yourself that you chose to live and he chose not to.
Live again Sir. Love again Sir.
Life is still ahead..we owe to our love one's to continue and get as much as happiness as we can in our everyday life.

All the best:)heart:

So very sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss

i feel like i have gain a lot of new friends that are the best friends i could have. all of your words was very helpful. i just put my mom in a care home. but the even more hurt came from the girl i hired to take care of mom. i had to fire her after July 4. and i had to take care of mom at home all by my self, for over 4 weeks. and the DCF came out 3 times WITH the police. i came so close to sending some one to the hospital was not even funny. and now that mom is in the care home melody has not even called ONE time to see how mom is. at one time i thought melody and me was best friends. but she was just using me and mom. but now i can see that all that lead me to getting my good friends here as my best new friends. so God helps me even when i dont deserve it. i wish i could HUG you all. thanks.

Hang in there! It's a hard thing to do, placing a loved one in a home. But it gets to the point where it's best for his/her safety.

I took care of my granma for a bit. We built her an addition on the house and planned to take care of her until the end. However, that was not possible. I was in my last month of pregnancy, she called the cops and said she didn't know me, that I was giving her cocaine. She snuck out and wandered into the yard and fell...it got dangerous for her as well as us. I was afraid that she might hurt me, like kill me. We had dcf/police come out and all that. It was the Alzheimer's affecting her. So we placed her in a home for her own safety. I don't think she knew what was happening anymore. We visited often and she died there.

People do take advantage of the elderly...elderly abuse. If you need assistance, you can talk to the social worker at the home where she stays.

Take care of yourself! This time in your life is very stressful. Go fishing or something else that you love.

i really can tell you know what iam going throu. my mom walked away one time. and melody felt so bad cause melody was there and i was at a friends house. melody cried and cried. and from that a person that was not family started calling the DCF. i lay in bed dreaming of how to send him to the hospital. now i have NO NO respect for the Wichita police. iam, so glad i friends like you. thanks

Sorry for ur loss sir
May he rest in peace

Don't worry your dreams with that person. Not worth it.

You have so much pain in your life, I hope that you are able daily to take a few moments and see the beauty that does surrounds you. Because sometimes at what I thought was my darkest hours and I felt so alone. Is when I had the most support and love poured over me.
I am praying for that for you.

today is sept 19. i just read all or your posts for the second time. and its like my family grew 100 fold. because all your care and love. to have people so far away that can give me so much caring love it is hard to say what i mean. some day in heaven God will will have something very social for you. and i will try to be hear for you when needed.

Ty for ur kind words Sir. But nothing we say can take away ur pain. But if it's a shoulder to cry on... I am definitely there for u

As always you tug my heart strings. My precious friend...
One of the most wonderful things I have found on the internet is how the entire world can be brought so close and the friendships that are built here.

I know I have many friends through out the entire world that I am thankful for. I am sure you will be there when we need it.

Just keep being who you are..