I am not sure what can I do to attract a lady

Don't have a weird cartoon for your profile picture.

I want a serious woman who is not a Nigeria. for serious relationship

I was reflecting on learning the art of hypnotism for a change.

Well a lot of that depends on if you are thinking of attracting a lady once you are no longer married as in separated still waiting for your divorce to become final and preparing to be truly single or if you are trying to suck someone onto married and just pretending to be separated.

Being single is definitely a different skill set than married or even separated. Being single does not always compute to being attractive to women. I have seen a lot of terminally single men that could not attract a woman if their life depended on it.

You are going to have to start with figuring out who you are and being able to market that as is. About 80% of that is going to be visual and the other 20% will be communication/character initially but that reverses fast once the first introduction is made.

IMHO Women worth their salt have something they bring to the table and expect you to also. Relationships; even casual ones are reciprocal.

Contrary to popular "Myth" it is the average guys that are normal, considerate, respectful, responsible, stable, and not overly aggressive that usually get picked in the long run.

Your photo and profession suggest that. Sorry the rest of your profile stinks. You do have to compete; even if you are all that and a bag of chips. Women are not impressed by money or status near as much as they used to be. You are competing in a world market even if you are dating local.

If you have been out of the single and dating thing reading may sound like a funny way to upgrade your skill set but it can be helpful. I would not believe a lot of the BS hype stuff but the tried and true social graces and learning modern day dating protocols will help. If you read the help forums you can learn a lot about how to do that effectively on line. Local colleges may be able to help where you are at. Even religious venues. They have a vested interest in coupling people.

Off line that is probably going to have to do with your local culture. You may have to research where single people congregate and up grade some of your dating skills. I would definitely look for someone who is successfully dating locally and avoid advice from the party animals and some who have not dated for years.

The biggest thing in dating is separating yourself from the herd of losers by looking and acting dateable. You don't want to commit social suicide on or off line. Your reputation will proceed you. The photos you post and how you go out looking in public is going to have a great deal to do with your ratability quotient. I hear people boo hoo all the time how they can not get a date and one look and bingo it is obvious. Avoid the cliché and slob look at all costs. Spiff up your appearance and actually smile if you have to fake it to make it. Once you get known as the old cast off bachelor/bachelorette it is like pulling teeth to change your image. If that means springing for some new clothes that fit your current shape to a fresh hairstyle and spending some buck on dentists or kicking a habit that lowers your over all rating (smoking, drinking, poor driving skills, overuse of poor grammer, profanity, or "married" behaviors) then you do it or perish.

That will have something to do with how you end your current relationship. I am not recommending be a doormat but being a gentleman about it will definitely help your case. One thing women do universally is check your history. That is true if you are 18 to 88. That does not mean come on media and pretend you are faultless even if you are. It means playing fair and showing that you are a not going to be one of the losers that make every next woman in your life miserable for what is behind you. Word to the wise be nice to your kids. You think a woman scorned can hurt you; you haven't seen nothing yet if you screw over your kids. You may get a relationship but yo won't keep one if you make them hate you enough to sabotage your future.

Look hard at your self and figure out what you can do to fix whatever ended your previous relationship? Even if you lost your spouse to death or illness you can still learn from the mistakes you know existed in the relationship. I pretty much guarantee you the same "problems" will come up again. Live and learn from your relationships. You make new mistakes but it is your choice if you keep repeating the old ones. If you do then you are going to get older but not wiser and way less attractive.

Then you probably want to do what you can to make you and interesting person. Read a paper/magazine, have a hobby, find out a little about what is available to you to date and set aside time and money to do it. Sure way to bomb on a first date is trying something or somewhere you have never been. If your social skills are rusty take a class, learn to dance, play some interactive activities, talk in groups, how to handle dating situations like ordering wine, or a getting a reservation, how to handle interacting with people you can't predict like your dates pets, children, or ex's. Actually being prepared if the things that often go with dating, like intimacy, actually happen. You can't say "I am and interesting person if you are boring as a post and sit at home when you are not buried at work. On line is fine but I GUARANTEE you if you get a date and bomb on the first one there will not be another. That is even true on line. If your response or introductions on line make the usual rookie mistakes you will get deleted fast. You bomb on several dates on line or in your community the word will spread like wild fire. Believe me women do share on and off line. If you are a dud you may get dates if you are buying them with activities but that is about as far as it will go.

If you are lucky enough to get and online response or a date be the exceptional person who shows a good attitude and even a little gratitude but don't go over board and take it as a profession of love or you will sound desperate and pathetic. Take your time and show a little grace and discretion and keep your mouth shut. I can not tell you the number of guys on line/in real life that just shot themselves in the head telling their business to others.

I was going to say something !..but I think she..^^^ used up all the good words for the day..

"I failed so far to find a love"

I usually find one at the side of a highway.





Have you tried being a tramp?

Hi Grandpa!!! LOL your advice is way more fun to read.

be a man

The dating game is tough. But maybe a good place to start is learning to make peace with your singleness. Whenever people want a relationship too intensely , they carry a heavy energy that often scares away the person you want to attract because they dont want the burden of responsibility for your happiness. Keep your heart open to love but HAVE FUN WITH YOUR LIFE! Focus on forging healthy new friendships with women but dont expose your urgency for a mate. Just have fun with them and be there for them . And try new hobbies on your own . Watch shows that make u LAUGH. When you cultivate a bright smile on the inside, that radiates on the outside,you will attract women who also have that kind of light in them. Devote this year to that lifestyle and see what happens. Good luck!

Psst...hey Cat....I think that's his real pic...

I like turtles

someday you will find the right girl for you.. :)