I think this question frequently gets wildly over-complicated.

The answer to "why is it so difficult for one to be loyal and faithful to their partner?" is actually quite simple:


It isn't. It isn't difficult at all, in any way shape or form.

Those who decide NOT to be loyal and faithful, aren't doing so because they are helpless against the forces of nature. They are "straying" because they want to stray.

It's like any other constant and repeating decision a person is called upon to make: why do you NOT steal things, or rob banks? Is it really a difficult thing to do, to NOT steal? No, it's simple: at each moment where you see something that you could steal, you ask yourself what it is that you want to do, what you want to be. Do you want to be a thief? Do you want to break your own declared rules? Most of us repeatedly decide NOT to be robbers and thieves. The ones who do steal, do so because they think it's a good idea, and they want to be thieves.

The hint to take from this, when searching for a loyal mate, is to watch for signs of loyalty to principle and standards in them in other ways. It's behind the old style idea to look for a mate who genuinely respects and honors their parents, their employer or employees as the case may be, and so on.

If you go on a date to a restaurant, and the other person is rude to the staff, or short changes them, or says mean things about people not there to respond, it's a hint that they see the world as being populated by themselves, and creatures who they can use.

One of the things I look for, in profiles, is the statement of the idea that the person thinks they are owed a certain set of benefits and activities on a regular basis from a mate. Anyone who declares that people can and should be quantified, calculated, and then discarded when they don't measure up, isn't looking for a true mate, they are looking for an employee, and a temporary one at that.

This and all the bullchit advice you've received shouldn't even be considered in a relationship.

If you've even got to speak to your partner about, or so much as mention the words loyal, faithful, or trust, then forget it.

These things are never spoken about in any good relationship.

In a relationship why is it so difficult for one to be loyal and faithful to their partner?

It's not difficult for me to be loyal to a partner. I can't speak for others.

Does a lack of faithfulness translate into an absence of love as you suggested in an earlier quote?

In a relationship why is it so difficult for one to be loyal and faithful to their partner?

Hi IgorFrankensteen. At any point in your life , have you ever gone through a period where you weren't thinking logically due to anger, depression etc and did something regrettable consequently? And if the answer is yes, were your emotions completely sequential and logical
in the midst of your decisions? Most issues are uncomplicated in hindsight but while we are committing indiscretions in a headspace of confusion, lines can get blurry . We must always be accountable for the wrong that we do and the consequences it brings but nothing wrong with being mindful that human emotions are often not logical and regrettable actions are not always pre-meditated

Simple answer, yes. If you can't be faithful, you shouldn't marry. You should never marry someone that you are not sure you can be faithful to forever. If you have enough self-control and enough respect for yourself you can be faithful to one man or woman forever.

Also, You have to really love that person. That's really the key. I think that's what's wrong with a lot of people now. They don't know what love really is. They don't realize what the depth of it really should be.

Because now a days Instead of couples sitting and talking over stuffs and trying to work things out they go outside of the relationship trying to fill that gap and in the end it doesn't make them any happier and some of us are too shallow and doesn't compromise so if our partner fall short on one thing we seek it elsewhere instead of trying to adjust ....

" Just because someone is weak in the love components of loyalty and faithfulness, does that mean that they dont love you?"

Unfaithfulness is one of the main destroyers of most relationships. Many of the perpetrators dont have bad intentions but they make the dumb mistake of repeatedly flirting with danger.If you are in a committed relationship, why are you visiting your friend so often with him/her alone at home? Why are you going online and flirting with new friends? Why are you constantly confiding your problems with your mate in someone of the opposite sex? why are you constantly working late at the office with your coworker with no one else present? Why are you NOT introducing close friends of the opposite sex to your mate? Many affairs started off with those innocent gestures and many people are engaging in these behaviours as we speak and are unaware that they have in fact set up the right conditions for their affair to take place. Many affairs may rooted in a lack of common sense as opposed to a lack of love. That being said I agree with you that many of us are flawed and dont seem to grasp what love is in its entirety not just in terms of faithfulness but all the other love components.
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peggy122

eh! The context is perfect to what I view as a simple problem.

I have e-mailed the above to myself, so it may be passed on to friends when needed.

Thanks peggy122

eh! I wear very dark glasses, but will help others